Go skiing with Fergie in Celebrity Sports Showdown

by Ludwig Kietzmann on Aug 13th 2008 12:40PM

And then kill yourself immediately, please. We suggest taking your copy of Celebrity Sports Showdown, EA Canada's zeitgeist fart and 12-sport minigame miasma, and wedging it vertically between a few issues of Teeny Bopper Monthly before leaping into it, face first, using the mound of self-pity you've buried yourself in over the years as a diving platform. Trust us, it'll be less damaging to your dignity than spending this holiday cruising over icy bumps with the mistress of lady lumps.

Don't worry, there's still time to turn your life around. Snap that elastic band on your wrist every time you reach out to a second-rate celebrity in a Wii sports video game, even one that promises a who's who and a who cares of popular culture. If you see an unnervingly rendered Keith Urban, Nelly Furtado or LeAnn Rimes beckoning you to enjoy inner-tubing, wild water canoeing, curling or anything involving "the ultimate party experience," turn the other way and flee.

Celebrity Sports Showdown (Wii)

Source

Tags: Celebrity-Sports-Showdown, EA-Canada, EA-Sports, EA-Sports-Freestyle, Fergie, Wii

Reader Comments (52)

Tell me this is a joke....please.....

Dude, the Wii is a joke.

I don't know, just looks like Mario and Luigi shaved and donned wigs, Milli Vanilli style. All in all very Nintendo and extremely Wii

I'm happy to know this wll bomb since games aren't totally freaking retarded.

Like half of the Wii library, it IS a joke.

FIRST... to say this looks super lame.

2nd

FAIL

Member since ought six and you still need to lurk more? I got your joke, but really...

I have a Wii used to love it as you might notice in some of my comments, I just don't comment much because we have slow ass internet and it takes to long, or I am not around a computer, or playing games. I read joystiq everyday, 3-4 times hoping, praying that there will be good Wii news, never is. and these kind of games make me wanna puke. Somebody needs to step up their game or my white box will be gone. yeah we have the conduit and mad world but what else, that isn't on 360.

I would like to think the"celebrity" endorsement or use of "celebrities" in games/ads/etc would run its course sooner or later.
But then again, perhaps not. Too many housewives, chicks in general, and loser dudes, practically worship "celebs" and anything they say or do.

Except gamers do the same thing, only with different celebrities. Look how much everyone glamorizes Cliffy B, Miyamoto, Tim Schafer, etc.

LMAO! Amazing article!

On a side note, it actually upset me when as soon as i saw this, i knew it was Wii shovelware. You don't even have to think about it for more than 5 seconds. Kinda sad, actually.

And after commenting on the Tim Schafer article for BRUTAL LEGEND about it having trouble finding a publisher... reading this just cements the fact that "anyone can sell a pile of dog doo and claim a diamond sucks" if marketed correctly.

I didn't even read the article. I couldn't because I after reading that headline I immediatly vommitted on my screen.

They should call this game Celebrity Fit Club because that's how many recognizable stars are in the game ZERO.

PLUS I went through all the screenshots and couldn't make out one celebrity. PLUS if your gonna use Fergie in a game you better get that booty but they made her look like an anorexic Thai transvestite

And the real Fergie doesn't?

what booty?

And then kill yourself immediately, please.

^That made my day.

OK, please tell me that first paragraph will be on the back of the box.

Epic lulz, Ludwig.

HA. Icy bumps and lady lumps.
That's a classic. Bravo, Ludwig.

Also: I might rent this. lol. I'm wondering how amusing it will be to run LeAnn Rimes off a ramp and on to her face.

just one more "bestseller" amongst the pile of crap for the Wii...only problem being is that people are actually buying this crap...

This game disturbs me on so many levels it's hard to put into words...

what a fucking pile of shit

just look at that picture. What approrate clothing to wear when going skiing out in the cold huh?

only one celeb I like, Allison haislip. This is starting to make me want to sell my Wii more and more, I have mario kart Wii, and that's it, never play it, ever. I sold brawl out of frustration of trying to vs ppl online and getting dced all the time, man Wii is a joke

Another reason why Fernando loves the Wii.

Is Crystal Meth a powerup on the course to make her go faster?

that would make it an instant buy; i'd love to have c-list celebrities tweaking out while skiing down a hill only to collapse into seizure at the finish

Unfortunately this game is going to sell 1 million copies :(
All the girls from 16-30 have money and are willing to spend it to interact with their "Pop Culture Icons" way more than Entertainment Tonight or the E! channel could ever allow them.

Oh well... if it sells it sells... I'm not saying it's a good game, or that I will ever buy it, or that I have any need for it... but most of us are males here and I think the females would react differently to this game. This is the intended audience for this game.

So we can point and laugh at it, it won't go away...

"EA Canada's zeitgeist fart"

Blame Canada

its from EA and its coming for Wii more shovelware sigh....

Wow, just wow this is getting ridiculous. Why would they deny us of cold hard pointy nipples trying to break through?

Are these opinion pieces or news posts? This could be a good casual game for anyone with a non-gamer g/f. At least this game has more potential then Wii music. I bought a Wii because it’s a casual gamer system and if this game is done well I will check it out.

My girl would think this was trash. It might look cute to her, but she like LBP, Pixel Junk Monsters and Galaxy type of games better. I feel sorry for anybody that has a girlfriend/wife that like this kind of shit.

It is more of an opinion piece it seems. I strongly doubt that the news source would recommend people to commit suicide because a game is released. It's just one angry blogger... angry that a game is being released...? Last I checked we weren't FORCED to pay for games that get released on a system, let alone play them.

If you look at it really... what is the blogger so angry about? A game is being released on the Wii, that he already made assumptions will be a terrible game. Rather than just say "this game is coming out and I wouldn't play it" he would rather belittle everyone that even thinks of playing it and recommend they kill themselves for playing it.

The problem really is that for the 1 game that gets posted on here that "we" hate... there are 99 games that get posted on here that all the females hate and think the same way about men that enjoy those games.

So no one is really at fault, it's just a matter of what perspective you want. If it's anything supporting these kinds of games, this isn't the place to hear the constructive criticism.

Hope this helps. ;)

@ Jack

She likes Wii Sports, Super Paper Mario, Boom Blox, and Puzzle Quest on XBLA.
This game looks a lot like Wii Sports and since nobody has played it yet, no one can attest to its quality. I’m betting that it will be shovelware but I can’t be sure.

And thank you for feeling sorry for me =)

@ Park

lol, I went through the phase where we had to recreate evey family member in Wiisports. She did beat Super Paper Mario though. I beat Zelda then we got rid of it.

Man if you want a good time and have a PS3. Play two player Pixel Junk Monsters/Eden with your girl. She will have a blast.

@ Jack

Sadly I have every console but the PS3. I need an hdtv first. I can’t justify owning 2 hd consoles before I own a hdtv. Have you got your girl into any “hardcore” titles? I’m thinking of having her try left 4 dead co-op with me as her first fps ( I hope you can do that locally). She likes zombie movies and I figure I could watch her back as she learns the controls.

@chukz

Where does it say that Joystiq is a pure, just-the-news blog? If you want just the facts go somewhere like IGN, but don't complain saying that the blog is sometimes opinionated. We know it is, but the said opinions and humor of the blog makes me coming back to Joystiq for more.

Back on topic, every time I see new Wii shovelware being released, a part of me dies. I just hope this onslaught of horrible games is just a fad and will end next generation... (considering this game really IS bad, which we still have to wait and find out...)

@Park

I've gotten her to play COD4 and she loved free for all online. Her coordination wasn't too great but she would kill about 3 people a match lol. Yeah, Left 4 Dead might be a good start as long as its not to hard. Women can get very frustrated with games lol.

@ GF games played

My girl plays Geometry Wars co-op with me, Hot Shots Golf, the Lego SW and Indy games, Scene It, she beat Heavenly Sword, loves Tetris, and is a Hexic HD genius...I also had one of the funniest Gears of War moments ever when she chainsawed me.

I originally got the Wii for us, and even she tells me once a week we should sell it...

This is what really sucks guys and this is the reason why so many great title have lower sales than these crap title.

The majority of people that buy this will think that this is a better game than Metroid, Bioshock, Mass Effect, StarCraft, Halo, Galaxy because they are uneducation piles of cash waiting for the next "in-style" game to play.

Its very very sad.

I feel really sorry for the people who have to review all this shovelware on a day to day basis.

Hey EA Canada

Key 2 Success:More Skate It/ Skate 2, less EA playground

Wait, the British royalty who does the weight watchers commercials is in a video game? Weird.

Is EA going to use the profits from this to make a new Road Rash?

Oh hell, who am I kidding...

http://www.joystiq.com/photos/celebrity-sports-showdown-wii/974223/

Ellen Degeneres?

Her face doesn't look NEARLY fucked-up enough in that picture to be recognizable as Fergie.

Something tells me chukz works for EA Canada.

That picture of Fergie has got to be the most frightening image I have seen in my life. My nightmares will forever be filled with poorly rendered 3d models of Steven Tyler and Fergie singing to me. Kill me now.

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Go skiing with Fergie in Celebrity Sports Showdown

Celebrity Sports Showdown (Wii)

Reader Comments (52)

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