Metareview -- Bionic Commando Rearmed (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)

by Alexander Sliwinski { Aug 13th 2008 at 5:38PM }

Much like Cher, Bionic Commando Rearmed has taken something old and freshened it up with the help of modern technology -- but much of the same ol' game is still there, caked under the cosmetic changes. The reviews are swinging in about the XBLA nip/tuck version of the classic '80s platformer and it appears -- for those who can put up with the unrelenting difficulty -- all systems are go: The remake is competent and won't give us the desire to turn back time* and play the original again.

(A warning for many of you: Despite being on Xbox LIVE, Bionic Commando Rearmed's cooperative and multiplayer modes are both offline-only leading some of us here at Joystiq to dub it Moronic Commando or Bionic Command'oh -- take your pick. Seriously, Capcom. That's a deal breaker for a lot of us right there.)

IGN (94/100): "The best elements of the original are back, but have been upgraded to be better than before. The new bosses add a more interesting challenge and the final level is one for the ages. And, of course, the visuals are brilliant. The remastered soundtrack is fantastic as well. From top to bottom, Bionic Commando Rearmed is an incredible game that's well worth owning."
OXM UK (80/100): "[BCR] is unapologetically old-skool, from the inability to jump right through to the spiked pits that bounce you back a few feet minus a huge chunk of your health. Bosses have attack patterns, health pick-ups have to be earned and each level has been designed around blind leaps of faith and tiny margins of error."
EuroGamer (80/100): "Between the multiplayer modes and the Challenge Rooms, there's more than enough innovation to make up for the minor irritations of the retro controls. Far from perfect, Bionic Commando Rearmed is still a much more complete and robust package than either 1942 Joint Strike or Commando 3 and another impressive addition to Capcom's download library."
OXM (70/100): "Rearmed quickly wears out its welcome and devolves into a series of frustrations. Precision platforming is required for almost everything, and failure often leads to death. The latter half of the game is especially unforgiving, although ironically, the end-level bosses aren't nearly as bad as the path you took to get to them. We recommend bringing a friend along in the excellent new co-op mode."

*Check out this video for help in understanding the '80s iconography:

Tags: bionic-commando, bionic-commando-rearmed, capcom, cher, GRIN, XBLA

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Obie @ Aug 13th 2008 5:45PM

I never played the original, but the demo was actually pretty fun, and the price is right.

I do agree, online co-op would have made the game perfect. Still, no regrets here.

Oh and Joystiq, never EVER show Cher clips again? Thanks!

deaftly @ Aug 13th 2008 8:31PM

The sad part is, once I saw that pic i remembered that Cher video also. Well on her behalf she did make a kid in middle school happy. I think it was middle school at least.

deaftly @ Aug 13th 2008 8:33PM

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay

I don't know why I did the things I did I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.

I didn't really mean to hurt you I didn't wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby

[Chorus:]
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do

If I could turn back time

My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
You walked out that door I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything darling then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and ooh...

[Chorus]

Ooohh

If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
ooh baby

I didn't really mean to hurt you
I didn't want to see you go
I know I made you cry
Ooohh

[Chorus #2]
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
btw

If I could turn back time (turn back time)
If I could find a way (find a way)
Then baby, maybe, maybe
You'd stay

[to fade]
Reach the stars
If I could reach the stars

SPAGHETTI @ Aug 13th 2008 5:46PM

what the hell capcom, you should bring this to the wii for fucks sake

Mr Khan @ Aug 13th 2008 5:48PM

As much as i defend Nintendo, Bionic Commando not being there is their fault. They denied Capcom the right to do a VC port, and would probably deny them this as well

Dr. Stabbingworth @ Aug 13th 2008 5:47PM

I just finished playing the demo and found it underwhelming (for $10 at least). I'll just stick with the original since I still have the cart.

This game reminds me of my main complaint against download only games. For the most part, they never drop in price. While games like Mass Effect, Halo 3, DMC4, etc., can be found for $20, most of these games stay at their original price. I would probably buy several XBLA games if MS would just drop the price when they got old.

SoCoolCurt (PSN: KillaKornbread) @ Aug 13th 2008 11:11PM

sometimes they have sales and stuff (on the PSN at least) i agree that it doesnt happen often enough but it does happen on occasion. like i bought PixelJunk Monsters for $5 the other day. i also bought Eden and 1942 though, so Monsters hasnt gotten much action yet lol.

Professor Lario @ Aug 13th 2008 5:47PM

Lack of online co-op is very disappointing. Most likely not a purchase based on this. Due to limited gaming time, I focus on games I can play with friends - many of whom do not live nearby.

arrrgh @ Aug 13th 2008 5:53PM

truth!

wtf is up with this and geom wars 2 dropping the ball and tripping all over that shit by SOMEHOW missing online co-op. This is the online console generation. So wtf is the excuse?@?!?

Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Aug 13th 2008 9:35PM

Online co-op is fucking overrated and shouldn't be the reason why you're willing to drop money on games.

Jose @ Aug 13th 2008 5:49PM

What the flunk! Didn't they just put out 1942 which has (wait for it) full online co-op!?!?!? Same company!

Haggard @ Aug 13th 2008 7:46PM

Different development teams.

Zertoss @ Aug 13th 2008 5:49PM

"Despite being on Xbox LIVE, Bionic Commando Rearmed's cooperative and multiplayer modes are both offline-only"

It's funny, one of my biggest complaints about a lot of games lately is the complete lack of any kind of offline multiplayer. Why in the world can't we have both?

Saria the Cat @ Aug 13th 2008 8:10PM

Yeah, I for one don't play with people online much so I'd rather have offline multiplayer, which a lot newfangled fancy next-gen games have been lacking recently.

Mr Khan @ Aug 13th 2008 5:50PM

lol

The complaints about this game show how much reviewers have gotten used to difficult games that hold your hand most of the way through

guidedbyvoip @ Aug 13th 2008 5:56PM

Precisely. +1

Deuce @ Aug 14th 2008 10:12AM

Amen to that. Modern reviewers need to man up and learn to play some games that demand more skill than "press X to win."

arrrgh @ Aug 13th 2008 5:52PM

lol @ OXM's lack of skill leading to a lower score. What a bunch of chumps

Obie @ Aug 13th 2008 5:59PM

OXM has always been a joke. I haven't bought an issue since I was able to download demo's over live.

Haggard @ Aug 13th 2008 7:50PM

I would always be wary of an official source of reviews and opinion for a platform. Whilst an unofficial (or a PC gaming) magazine aims to have opinions worthy of your money, an official playstation, xbox or nintendo magazine exists because the higher authority wants you to buy its games.

Sure, the crappy games get low scores to make it look unbiased, but Halo 3 was never going to get anything less than 10/10 from OXM, was it?

Hobone @ Aug 13th 2008 5:53PM

I think "Bionic CommanDON'T" is most appropriate.

deaftly @ Aug 13th 2008 5:59PM

Chlorophyll? More Like Borophyll!

Drew @ Aug 13th 2008 6:18PM

Bionic Commandouche!

guidedbyvoip @ Aug 13th 2008 5:54PM

I didn't buy this game for multiplayer. It's a remake of a PRE-NETWORK ERA game for chrissakes, what are you complaining about? The best things about this game are the visuals and the soundtrack. If you loved the Original Bionic Commando, with all its precision platformer frustrations, then you'll love the ReArmed version. Sorry 80s babies. You don't know what you missed out on. There's always a chance for Pokemon Re-Armed.

(did they nerf the arm? i remember being able to stun soldiers with it. am i wrong?)

danny. @ Aug 13th 2008 6:01PM

80s babies? I was born in '81 and played plenty of this game.

silverwolf761 @ Aug 13th 2008 7:21PM

'85 baby here. Played, beat and loved the original

Boffo the Sock @ Aug 14th 2008 10:40AM

I think you meant '90s babies. You must be getting delusional in your old age.

arrrgh @ Aug 13th 2008 5:55PM

ok as gamers let me ask

HOW BIG OF A FUCKING DUMPTRUCK TO WE HAVE TO BEAT DEVS TO DEATH WITH

before they realize how fucking important online co-op is. People will buy games on that fact alone!!! Devs just dont have a clue

eg geomwars2, this, and gears2.

resistance 2 gets it right with 8plyr co-op. It's not rocket science, it just takes a little bit of time and effort. Stop short changing us, devs. This is teh whole fucking point of this generation.

Hobone @ Aug 13th 2008 6:08PM

In their defense, I think it takes more than a little time and effort to get online co-op up and running.

arrrgh @ Aug 13th 2008 6:20PM

it's a matter of priority. And if it's low on their list. They won't care.

There is no excuse for missing out on a feature like that. If you plan to have it in the game. You hire staff who are capable of producing such results. Is it easy to make a game period? No it takes time and effort. If the devs make it a point to include online co op (as many games have) then it will be there. If it is deemed to be a "frills feature" or an "if we have time" kind of thing, then it will ALWAYS be the first thing cut. Deadlines ALWAYS approach too fast for comfort, and online co op is generally the first feature you see axed as a game approaches completion.

Can you imagine a game like left4dead without online co op? "oh we were going to do that, but it took too much time and effort"

Is that any different? no, they just knew that online co op would be a main feature.

Obie @ Aug 13th 2008 7:49PM

Gears 2 has online co-op, so why are you bitching about it?

Leobebes @ Aug 13th 2008 6:01PM

Ha ha ha all the Braid haters were claiming this game would destroy Braid in the quality department. Of course Braid haters have the cultural IQ of a tween at a Hannah Montana concert so I am not surprised.

Hey look a game where I can go "pow pow pew pew!" It must be better than that game with classical music and ambitious art design duuuuuuuuurrrrr!

WhoMe @ Aug 13th 2008 6:16PM

Yeah, Echochrome sure was original.

Jacksons @ Aug 13th 2008 6:27PM

@WhoMe

Haha, nice.

Saria the Cat @ Aug 13th 2008 8:09PM

Uh, what does Bionic Commando have to do with Braid? Answer: absolutely nothing.

Why are people in this thread pitting the two games together? Just because they're both decent XBLA releases? o_O They're not even related.

Leobebes (BDF: Braid Defence Force) @ Aug 13th 2008 8:22PM

Well one could easily say what do the "Bionic Commando will be a much better game than Braid so I don't get the Braid hype" comments had nothing to do with Braid threads. I don't remember you pointing that out Saria.

So tit for tat I guess.

John @ Aug 14th 2008 6:39AM

@ Leobebes

God Jonathan, you are a douche, I will never buy your game now, and furthermore, I will tell everyone I did and it's terrible to deprive you of more purchases.

Quit trolling joystiq, you get enough coverage already.

AirIntake @ Aug 13th 2008 6:08PM

Wow, lots of whining about online modes. I used to cry like that all the time when playing Bionic Commando in 1988, but then I remembered that online hadn't been invented yet. Yes, online would be great, but in a retro game like this it can hardly be considered a deal breaker. Plus, it does have offline co-op, so you can always play with your real friends, should you have any still kicking around.

Altairio @ Aug 13th 2008 6:09PM

LOL @ image...

...should have sent a poet...

Cyro @ Aug 13th 2008 6:09PM

I just played the demo and all I can say is that, "THE CONTROLS SUCK!" Period. Its the most frustrating thing ever. Its pretty and all and looks cool, but the controls just dont work. Not a purchase for me at all. Will wait for Dishwasher.

Oh well, at least I am very happy about my Braid purchase. :)

Fernando Rocker @ Aug 13th 2008 6:10PM

What do you mean with the controls doesn't work? It plays exactly like the NES version...

Very good remake by the way.

bigD @ Aug 13th 2008 6:13PM

Played the demo today and the controls don't suck. Sure it actually takes some skill to maneuver around with the arm, but it responds pretty well. Any control problems can be traced back to user error.

Cyro @ Aug 13th 2008 6:17PM

Well. I would've wished they actually changed the controls for the better. I mean its pointless hard to do anything in the game.

I know some people will love this game, but I am quite sure I would not enjoy this game. I would just get very frustrated and throw the control to a wall.