This Wednesday: XBLA dodges balls, plays cards and ... shreds nebulas?

We don't even know what that means, honestly. What you just read is the nonsensical result of Microsoft deciding to unleash three thematically varied games on Xbox Live Arcade Wednesday. How are we supposed to tie a space shooter, a card game and a meme-based dodgeball game into a coherent headline? Oh, and just wait till you get to the part where we explain what each game entails. Here we go:

The showdown between pirates and ninjas (also, robots and zombies) begins in earnest with the release of Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball, a lighthearted celebration of long-dead cultures and non-fatal projectiles. The game and its 8-player online matches can be had for 800 ($10).

Similarly priced is Shred Nebula, which immediately defies expectations by being utterly devoid of guitar-playing space clouds. In fact, it offers "deep multiplayer space combat" for up to eight players online, along with Adventure, Score Attack and Deathmatch modes.

Finally, there's the online-capable and sufficiently self-explanatory Gin Rummy for 400 ($5). That about does it for this paragraph.