'Ultimate proof' oracle regrets trading in Xbox 360

by Kyle Orland { Sep 5th 2008 at 6:20PM }

Since CNBC analyst Jane Wells granted us poor peons a glimpse into "the ultimate proof Sony is winning" two months ago, we at Joystiq have been eagerly awaiting another chance to hear from her son, the ~~twelve~~16-year-old oracle who sealed Microsoft's fate by trading his Xbox 360 for a PS3. And lo, today the all-knowing king of business analysis didst speak once more, granting his youthful wisdom to us poor, unwashed masses.

"Hear me!" came the oracle's booming, high-pitched voice from on high as he surveyed his subjects from his beanbag chair throne. "Though mine PS3 still brings me pleasure, the pleasure of Xbox Live friends may be one that I have treated too lightly. My patience waiting for an offering of new games from Sony has forced me once more to explore the shores of Azeroth. Lo, though times are tough, do not be tempted by the spawn of Nintendo, for I would not be caught dead with that thing."

With that, the doors of knowledge closed with a shattering thud, once again leaving us confused and in the dark. Still, we thank our benevolent information masters for this new glimpse into the heart of the game industry, however brief.

Tags: analyst, decree, microsoft, nintendo, oracle, son, sony, twelve-years-old

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

CW @ Sep 5th 2008 6:26PM

When he traded his Xbox 360, everybody called him an idiot.

Now that he wants one back, I guess this is proof that only idiots use Xbox 360.

OMGOMG @ Sep 5th 2008 6:32PM

No, just that idiots like you are on the internet.

Mutagenaric @ Sep 5th 2008 6:34PM

Or that he's just an idiot AND indecisive. Ever think of that?

Of course not. You thought of an opportunity to... well, I guess it isn't trolling, sort of. An opportunity to ass, I suppose. As in, attempt to make an ass of other people, and (in my eyes) make an ass of yourself.

Don't feel bad, it happens quite frequently.

Aex @ Sep 5th 2008 6:41PM

I don't think anyone will realize just how BRILLIANT you post was...

...but I see what you did there ;)

j.howlett @ Sep 5th 2008 8:31PM

why i laff

Morisato @ Sep 6th 2008 12:18AM

Wouldn't be caught dead owning a wii?? What kind of gamer passes an opportunity at being able to play more games? This kid is just a poser.

CesarSalad @ Sep 7th 2008 1:24AM

Dude, honestly... The Wii Has disappointed me in every way possible. If I ever get around to play with mine it feels like I'm playing with a child's toy. I truly hope nintendo's new console will revive that nintendo love I used to have.

Josh @ Sep 7th 2008 3:23AM

It won't. They're going casual from here on out.

Until the next big market arrives...

domgbrown @ Sep 8th 2008 11:29AM

XBox360: Now Idiot Friendly.

Nevers @ Sep 5th 2008 6:33PM

"I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

~ Master Kenobi

OMGOMG @ Sep 5th 2008 6:34PM

"I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!"

-Homer Simpson

StPaddy @ Sep 5th 2008 7:07PM

You fail, it should go:

"I am Evil Homer, I am Evil Homer..."

- Evil Homer

Red Leader @ Sep 5th 2008 8:47PM

You all fail because your quotes are irrelevant.

Blank-Mage @ Sep 6th 2008 12:06AM

He speaks for all of us.

Whoppy @ Sep 5th 2008 6:33PM

It's proof that only idiots have mothers.

Whoppy @ Sep 5th 2008 6:36PM

Wassis doing down here? It was meant to be a reply
:( I am now an idiot, with a mother.

Imadogg @ Sep 5th 2008 10:08PM

loled

Fudui2 @ Sep 5th 2008 6:35PM

Mommy likes the Wii!

Dirty @ Sep 5th 2008 6:38PM

I find this hilarious.

Erik Stroud @ Sep 5th 2008 7:27PM

I do too. He had a job, so why didn't he just save his money. Also, MGS 4 isn't what I would says is a good reason to trade in a 360. I'm either buying my own, or getting my parents to get me one for christmas. But not for MGS 4. Disgaea 3 and Resistance. Maybe MGS 4

wrecluse @ Sep 5th 2008 6:42PM

Buy low and sell high - It's Genius!

LaughingTarget @ Sep 5th 2008 6:45PM

Day trading while smoking pot is a bad idea.

juju187 @ Sep 5th 2008 8:15PM

I lost all my monies in twinkies that way

Bad @ Sep 5th 2008 6:44PM

Is it wrong that I knew that the article's picture was from a MTG card instantly? I guess it is OK since I don't remember exactly what card it was or what it did...but damn, that is sick nerdy.

And, I guarantee that this is one of the people who thought FFXIII was going to be a PS3 exclusive and system seller. Maybe Valkyria Chronicles as an exclusive will be instead...

jron @ Sep 8th 2008 2:06PM

Royal Decree :-)

http://sales.starcitygames.com//carddisplay.php?product=14523

LaughingTarget @ Sep 5th 2008 6:44PM

This is why I don't take journalists seriously (I was going to put "anymore" but I realized I never took them seriously). Anecdotal stories don't equate to reality. Sure, they may when you get lucky now and again, but seriously, just because you see it and report it, that doesn't make it true.

This is why I like bloggers, they don't pretend their opinions are fact.

Blank-Mage @ Sep 6th 2008 12:08AM

Is it wrong I actually think of you as Rorschach, visiting the site?

Mike M. @ Sep 6th 2008 2:03AM

Since reading Watchmen a couple months ago I've done the same thing.

Brian O'lyaryz @ Sep 5th 2008 6:46PM

Kyle I got to say. That is the best written post this site as ever seen my miles. Thank you for the ear to ear grin.

Fenix @ Sep 5th 2008 6:49PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjWYSa_tiZo

And its STILL worth it!

Hala Madrid!! (Madrileno hasta la muerte!) @ Sep 5th 2008 7:25PM

Customer service:Which console are you calling about?
Please say original Xbox or Xbox360

Caller: THE 360!!!

LOLZ :D

Good times.

Whoppy @ Sep 5th 2008 6:51PM

Google says that she has "A Refined Sense of Sensuality" and it will cost me a mere $600 for a 1hour hello. I've booked her and asked her to bring her sons PS3 with her.

Maverick Saturn @ Sep 5th 2008 7:02PM

Lol, they couldn't have been that good friends if he traded them in for a PS3, lol, when you trade in your 360, you don't just trade that in, you trade your points worked day in day out for, you trade in people you called friends you trade in a portion of your life. Lol, exaggeration, but the first 2 were true.

I bet if he goes back and gets a 360 and adds his so called mates, they reject him, "Traitor!!!!"

Saeth @ Sep 5th 2008 7:06PM

"I live with the ultimate expert on the video game industry—my 16-year-old son."

Hahahaha

Dirty @ Sep 5th 2008 7:21PM

Im just picturing michael pachter living in her basement.

DangerMouse @ Sep 5th 2008 8:22PM

I never sold a game or a console when i was kid. Granted, i didn't have that many games, but i enjoyed what i had. Even now, i never sell my games, i do my research on what and what not to buy. That goes for consoles, too.

Ranus Studios @ Sep 5th 2008 7:25PM

I lawled.

vidGuy @ Sep 5th 2008 7:26PM

With all the money he's probably lost trading consoles back and forth, he could have just bought all of them and enjoyed each for their own worth.

MetalGearsOfSolidWar @ Sep 5th 2008 7:28PM

Kid should keep the PS3 and save for a new 360 pro(price cut yay!)

Seriously PS3 and 360 both rock in their own way. So long as little Billy here doesn't trade his 360 or his PS3 or whatever he has for a fucking Wii. THEN he'll be an idiot.

MEAT @ Sep 5th 2008 7:40PM

I'm sad that I know that artwork is from the M:tG card "Royal Decree."

UNC_Samurai @ Sep 6th 2008 12:36AM

Somebody finally found a use for it, other than in Ice Age Block sideboards.

nick @ Sep 5th 2008 7:53PM

First of all, we're dealing with the thought process of a 12 year old, and an adult who jumps to conclusions based on the behavior of their offspring. This is hardly scientific.

Kids change their minds and get bored with their stuff all the time. Happens to everyone. Doesn't make you a prophet.