EA gives up trying to take over Take-Two

by Ross Miller on Sep 14th 2008 5:36PM

ACT XVII

FADE IN:

EXT. TAKE-TWO'S PARENTS' HOUSE -- Electronic Arts ("Eric") has packed up its boom box and is getting ready to drive off, fed up with trying so long to court Take-Two ("Trina").

TRINA
Wait! Where are you going?

ERIC
Like I said in the letter I nailed to your door. "EA has decided not to make a proposal to acquire Take-Two and has terminated discussions with Take-Two."

TRINA
But but ... we talked in private on the phone. Even Felicia said it'd be okay. Was it something I said? Was it Niko?

ERIC
I'm sorry, but it's over. I've been out here holding my boombox since March and my arms are very, very tired. I'm hungry, I'm going to go make a sandwich now. I've got 15 new games in my pocket -- Spore, Dead Space, Mirror's Edge, some sports titles, etc. I think I'm going to deal with those.

TRINA
But ... !

ERIC
I'm sorry. Maybe some other time.

ERIC LEAVES

TRINA
(shouting)
Call me!

FADE TO BLACK

END OF SHOW ... ?

Source

Tags: breakingnews, ea, electronic-arts, take-over, take-two, takeover

Reader Comments (52)

YAY! Maybe Ubisoft will step in and we'll see 2 of the best publishers get together.

Fucking Joystiq, just tell me the damn news, I don't need to read your lame "skits" about it. How about providing some actual insight into what happened, instead of this useless crap?

EA gives up trying to take over Take-Two

EA said:
"EA has decided not to make a proposal to acquire Take-Two and has terminated discussions with Take-Two."

Good enough news-post for you?

What the fuck is your problem Jimbo? did joystiq did something to you? huh? do you want to take it outside?

jimbo is no fan of parody

Jimbo, I guess thats why they give you the source link. I guess you could go and search out these items on actual news sites rather than a blog site if that is your preference.

I guess you're just a gobshite.

Blogs! We demand to be taken seriously as journalists!

Blogs! We make silly joke posts with no content linking to real journalists!

It doesn't exactly matter if you label us as a "blog" or a "journalist site" so long as you see us as an accurate source of information and news with the proper amount of skepticism, and snark when applicable and within the aforementioned parameters.

I could've run this as a dry press release announcement, or even reprinted the press release and moved on. You have the news, pertinent past coverage linked in a logical manner, appropriate quotations. Personally, I think this is more fun.

"Personally I think this is more fun."

I agree Ross. :-)

Don't listen to him Ross, his mother leave him for Joystiq.

"It doesn't exactly matter if you label us as a "blog" or a "journalist site" so long as you see us as an accurate source of information and news with the proper amount of skepticism, and snark when applicable and within the aforementioned parameters."

Yeah, what he said

Jim, I could not agree more. Joystiq is my number one source for video game news (and there is no reason it could not be) but too often Joystiq falls short. Joystiq, you should be giving us the relevant information studded with your writers and editors take or opinion on the issue. Instead of that you replace a news article with this uninformative drivel which is completely void of any actual information or your view on the subject. It reminds me of some kid in school trying to impress with his creativity and overdoing it instead of performing the requested task.

@thedonandmikeshow:

And yet I see you're not only reading, but also contributing via posts to Joystiq. If you really don't want to be here, leave. The fact that you are here invalidates your post. Nevermind the fact that the entire point of the post was concisely summed up in the title!

@Ross Miller & co.:

This post, the Bizarro World one from a couple weeks ago, and other such examples of fine parody and writing are what keep me coming back. Those of us who have created parody ourselves know how difficult getting it right can be, and the work that goes on behind the scenes for posts like this is significant. Thanks.

This calls for celebration!

Odd, since TakeTwo's financial strategy leads to a rollercoaster sort of existence, you think that eventually someone more stable would try to gobble them up

Agreed. Just not EA. I don't want to lose NBA & NHL 2K to the EA franchises. Not to mention the MLB series -- which is good but I prefer MLB The Show only on PS3.

Just when I thought posts couldn't get any more ridiculous.

Hahaha that was hilarious, nicely done.

And so the competition in the sports and hooker-bashing markets will continue unabated. This is good.

Great news... now, when will Sony make their offer? >_>

i think MS would make a move before Sony would. i doubt Sony has the kind of money (in the games division at least) that Take-Two is looking for.

"Who's gonna drive you home...tonight..."

Thank you, Ross Miller, for that fucking awesome post. I honestly haven't been following the EA/Take-Two stuff cause I'm tired of hearing about it, but I actually read this post cause it was amazing.

this is why i

let other people finish my sentences.

love joystiq and hate the comment system

You and me both! :-/

Ya'll need some PHP to convert ">" into ">" before submitting to server.

'm hot

Yay? I haven't really been following much of this, but at least EA gave up.

lol, take that EA!!!!!

Good, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out EA!

cause I don't want ass prints on my new door.

CRISIS AVERTED!!!

Conflict Resolved!

(My girlfriend now despises those words)

ove I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

Oh thank Jesus. Looks like we won't be seeing Grand Theft Madden 2010 anytime soon.

Yes SMcD because when people get bought out they start calling game Mass Fifa Effect and Burn Dead Space Out. Your just not funny.

Jesus Christ, it was just a joke. Settle down.

Mass Fifa Effect sounds like some terrible disease of phenomenon

The best Joystiq news post in a long, long time, Ross.

How is this officially the end?

EA still bought like 20% of TT shares during the process, and has only walked away from formal merger talks. Their march in the other direction will make TT's stock price fall, which could enable EA to buy them up cheaper than if TT had accepted the deal months ago.

This is still possible, unless EA makes a public effort to sell off their TT shares and wash their hands clean of the company.

Whats your name? Dong. Whats your first name? Long. Well then whats your middle name? Duk.

What the hell does Sixteen Candles have to do with Say Anything... ?!

I think EA was more interested in buying Take-Two BEFORE GTA4 came out so they could take in the big profits, but that didn't work out for them, so they kind of lost interest. Take-Two doesn't really have any big titles coming out for quite a while, so if EA buys them out know, They will just be losing a lot of money for a while.

I'm with jimbo on this site's parody's when they do news sometimes. Some of us wants to get right into the details and not have to waste time reading an unfunny parody.

Anyway, thank god. The gaming gods comes through after all, stopping a deal that would've made EA the Viacom of videogames IMO.

I think you're going to the wrong site if you aren't looking for skits and/or parody. It's like going to a pizza parlor and expecting sushi. Each restaurant serves food, both just cater to different tastes.

Well...different strokes for different folks. But this is one of the best gaming news sites out there.

Aren't you glad EA gave up on taking....um...take two?

"Y'know so I guess what I'm just saying is that like..
EA like sucks my balls
I think that's like what I'm saying pretty much
They just suck my balls
Like I got this one ball here.. E.. E like sucks like this ball here..
and then the A.. the A sucks my other ball here..
So the E and the A are just sucking both my balls"

am i the only one who has no idea WTF this post was about, or parodying?

I simply read the title, and hit the source link to find out what happened. I tried reading joystiqs post, but it was like high school gibberish to me.

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EA gives up trying to take over Take-Two

Reader Comments (52)

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