Far Cry, a Uwe Boll joint, premiering in Germany Oct. 2
by Griffin McElroy 
{ Sep 20th 2008 at 1:30PM }
If you're truly dedicated to your pursuit of attending the debut of a Boll-sterpiece, you'd better make your travel arrangements now, as the film will rear its ugly head October 2. We probably won't be in attendance, so make sure you tell us how it was, and what it was like meeting all those
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mr Khan @ Sep 20th 2008 1:38PM
You cry, and then, when you see the dancer, you cry again.
MowDownJoe @ Sep 20th 2008 2:13PM
I remember that episode of Seinfeld! Yeah, everyone who goes to see that premier will be flailing about like Elaine.
&rew @ Sep 20th 2008 1:38PM
If only they fired up the LHC two weeks early...
Limezor @ Sep 20th 2008 1:39PM
I actually want to see this to see how bad it is.
mark @ Sep 21st 2008 1:52PM
I'm also curious as to how bad Uwe's stuff can turn, it's sort of entertaining to see how crap he is.
Good news for you! The guy paying Doyle has nothing to do with the Doyle in the game.
In the game he's a thin, black scientist; in the movie he's a well built, white guy who wouldn't look like a scientist if you jam him into a mutagen filled test tube.
Maybe boll is a f**kin Nazi who likes replacing blacks with the perfect arian; we know his brain is kinda fucked up so it wouldn't really surprise us!
Enjoy the movie :-) lol
Immortal Technique PSN: johnnynumber5 @ Sep 20th 2008 1:44PM
Sometimes bad video game movies can be entertaining. I remember watching the DOA movie about a year ago and it had the entire package. The movie had hot girls in bikinis, martial arts, cheesy story & the one and only Eric Roberts.
Shmil (Mr ESC Liberation Front) @ Sep 20th 2008 1:45PM
you don't fuck with eric roberts
LuckyEMS @ Sep 20th 2008 3:25PM
its not that its a video game movie some of them are at least tolerable (eg Resi Evil)
its the fact its a Uwe Boll movie which is always shit
Cj @ Sep 20th 2008 2:06PM
Did that petition reach 1 mill yet? It really needs to.
Meta @ Sep 20th 2008 3:44PM
sadly it hasn't even reached 500,000
Haggard (Free Mr.ESC!) @ Sep 20th 2008 4:27PM
Xbox Live, Playstation Network, WoW, Steam and Xfire should all release updates making it impossible to log in unless you've signed the petition.
Haggard (Free Mr.ESC!) @ Sep 20th 2008 2:10PM
Wonder if cinemas in the UK will pick it up..
lorddshadow @ Sep 20th 2008 2:29PM
wow...ok he's getting way too close to the better franchises...far cry? oh no! what's next? he better not get anywhere near mgs.
Moptimus Slime @ Sep 20th 2008 2:33PM
This might just be able to make FC: Vengeance look good *shudders*
Also, I've noticed a lot of people added Mr.ESC to their tags, and with me being offline for a while I must ask, what happened? Was he permabanned (if so, could somebody post a link to the thread where everything went wrong)? Kidnapped? Tasered to death? Could somebody shed some light on this situation for me plz?
Raikage (Mr. ESC? Mr. ESC? MR. ESSSSSSCCCCCC!) @ Sep 20th 2008 3:11PM
http://www.joystiq.com/2008/09/09/joystiq-review-e-thletes/
It seems as though he had very strong opinions on Pro Gaming apparently being involved in it himself when he was younger. He didn't like it or what it stood for, claiming that it ruined the best part about games (the fun).
Seems to be a pretty strong opinion although reasonable IMO... but I guess not according to Mr. McElroy... So, he got the hammer.
It's too bad, Mr. ESC was one of my favorite posters on Joystiq. (Heck, he even quoted Billy Joel!)
@Johnny
Hey, I liked DOA too, but that could be my awful taste in movies... LOL
Immortal Technique PSN: johnnynumber5 @ Sep 20th 2008 3:39PM
From what I understand he was banned and then came back as "ghost" and complained about it. I believe he was approaching 5,000 posts under his account. I can't recall the thread.
zuburi @ Sep 20th 2008 3:57PM
Good riddance to bad rubbish. After that ridiculous L.A. Noire thread, I can think of about 10 others that deserve to be perma-banned.
Jakka(A tribute to whose who fought and failed during the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir) @ Sep 20th 2008 4:55PM
^No justice in this world.^
Actually, I don't see the point in banning them.They would just come back like I do + it's fun to have them around.
Still I do hate the fact that Joystiq has been handing out bans with a rather fucked up logic. Some guy got banned for simply pointing out that "LBP release rumor" because everybody knew that it's gonna be "'round that time". Just compare this and Mr.ESC with the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir and tell me that Justin isn't insane.
Mr Khan @ Sep 20th 2008 6:40PM
Oh come on, that LA Noire thread was the most epic thing to hit around here in a helluva long time. It got so meta and so personal so quickly, over a game nobody really knows jack shit about
Its a testament to why we all come here.
zuburi @ Sep 20th 2008 7:46PM
Really? I come here to read news and perspectives. I hit the "comments" button because sometimes, buried within the filth, is people making comments that enhance the topic at hand.
Instead, I usually wade into a pissing match between a bunch of idiots that can barely spell their own name right.
It makes me want to avoid this site because, without the comment system, it's just not as interesting.
blizz419 @ Sep 21st 2008 12:01AM
yea that ban hammer has come down on some silly stuff my original account was banned by jarrod rae after basically turning his joke back at him, nothing even serious or offensive either, he kept rewriting my comments and i made comments asking him why he was changing my comments and i got banned pretty silly really
Courtney @ Sep 21st 2008 12:39AM
Wow, I didn't realize how out of hand that LA Noir thread got last night. I saw the beginnings of it, but figured it would flame out.
CenturionRyan @ Sep 20th 2008 2:39PM
Well I don't see how he can fuck up a game like Far Cry.
Unless he turns the trigens into teletubbies or something.
Lysdexia @ Sep 20th 2008 2:46PM
Oh ye of little faith...
He'll find a way, don't you worry
fracaso089 @ Sep 20th 2008 2:48PM
i really want Uwe Boll to make a good movie, cause if he can raise enough dough for his current crap, just think of what he could do if he was a decent director. Also, i sorta respect him for doing what he does. Someone has to make everyone else feel better...
Jakka(A tribute to whose who fought and failed during the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir) @ Sep 20th 2008 5:19PM
Well to cheer you up, Postal gets some great reviews on Imdb.Also Tunnel Rats 1968 is apparently good too.
Reasons to see Postal #37:
To hear Uwe Boll saying "I finance my movies with Nazi Gold..."!
smurfy @ Sep 20th 2008 3:12PM
Damn it, Uwe.
POOLSCLOSED @ Sep 20th 2008 3:12PM
I'll be watching this for the Screwattack cameos.
Yatcho @ Sep 20th 2008 3:55PM
Well this one might be good, you never know...
Kyouryuu @ Sep 20th 2008 4:17PM
You know you're in for a quality film when they can't even space the title card correctly.
F Ar Cry!
OTAM @ Sep 20th 2008 4:59PM
Did someone say joint?
KIMP @ Sep 20th 2008 5:14PM
I seriously dont get all the hate for Uwe Boll.
Sure, he aint a great or good director but check out the current state of American cinema and what makes money at the box office... its WORST then anything Uwe Boll has done!
Paulmichael @ Sep 20th 2008 11:35PM
BloodRayne. Seriously, that's all that needs to be said.
aj @ Sep 20th 2008 5:10PM
Hey, I went to a special advance screening of Postal (with Mr. Boll in attendance IN PERSON to accept questions/talk about how rich he was). And let me tell you, it was not fun. I thought people enjoyed the goofy fun of Uwe Boll's movies. I thought he would get booed out of the theatre. I thought it would be a fun experience, with drunk people shouting and chaos. But it was just....soul crushing. And the silence....the deafening silence.....
jpcx00 @ Sep 21st 2008 1:36PM
That's surprising. I thought Postal was insanely funny. Had a great vibe to it. Nice, over the top, and supremely stupid. Similar to Harold and Kumar, but much funnier.
aj @ Sep 21st 2008 3:36PM
You shouldn't admit that in public. Saying that you thought "Postal" was funny is like saying your a child molester or something.
ronald.raygun @ Sep 20th 2008 5:18PM
anthony bourdain has a cameo in it. still should be crap though.
marcomc2 @ Sep 21st 2008 1:27AM
oh yeah, former wiener wald employees, what a funny joke. its so easy to make fun of german people whenever you have a chance, isnt it? fuck uwe boll. the main character is played by an awesome German person, Til Schweiger, who you might have seen in SLC Punk, and will see in Tarantinos new film soon. So FUCK THOSE EASY GERMAN JOKES, you are silly and opportunistic. "oh german people are so silly, ahaha, were so smart"
jesus
Paulmichael @ Sep 20th 2008 11:33PM
I don't care what franchises he botches, just so long as none of that shit comes over to the states. What a horrible director, he really should do something else.
dnlkk94 @ Sep 21st 2008 12:55AM
Keep this man away from MGS. And Halo. And Killzone. And... the list goes on.
Better yet, keep him away from EVERYTHING!
Ron @ Sep 21st 2008 2:44AM
Imagine him making a Gears of War movie.
West @ Sep 21st 2008 4:00AM
I think everyone should see a Uwe Boll film at least once. You'll never forget it...you'll understand why people hate him for butchering the already horrible film industry, and most importantly, you'll learn how NOT to make a film, tell a story, or just generally share your ideas.
That said, after seeing "In the name of the King," I barfed in the parking lot of the theater and had cold shivers for weeks. It wasn't pleasant.
Nizzut @ Sep 21st 2008 10:56AM
Actually, it's more likely for a Cat 5 to hit Walt Disney World (in FL), not Disneyland (in CA.) Just felt compelled to push this otherwise useless point. :)
bigwilly @ Sep 21st 2008 12:27PM
postal was pretty good...prob the best a turd like boll could produce tho...wont get my hopes for this actually being watchable
Nguyen @ Sep 22nd 2008 8:40AM
Wow, looks like I missed some fanboy excitement.
Anyways, I recently discovered perhaps why Boll makes the movies he makes and why he won't change: he's European (not including UK).
My mom recently came back from a vacation to Germany and Poland. She said she spent next to zero times watching their TV shows because everytime she tried to watch, it was just so bad compared to American shows. The acting is unnatural and their characters has no motivations, and the stories were too predictable. In fact, the most popular shows there are American shows! She ended up watching dubbed Monk and House episodes!
So I thought about it, and maybe that's why Boll doesn't know any better, look at the quality of entertainment of where he came from. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Foreign Film category of many award shows rarely include films from center to eastern Europe. They're either Latin American, French, or Asian; I even remember ones from Africa and the Middle East.