Bungie's Halo 3 campaign teaser: Your theories
by Justin McElroy 
{ Sep 25th 2008 at 12:30PM }
Reader Jerry emailed us with a detailed analysis, concluding: "You're going to be playing as one of the ODST troops in the pods that you see and the campaign expansion will cover from the time the chief leaves earth in halo 2 until the end of halo 3."
Yeah, that's great, Jerry, but it's just so ... practical. You're not thinking crazy enough for us.
Sloar said: "It's a new WALL*E game! Yes! Thank the gaming gods!"
That's more like it! Not bad, Sloar, but THQ still has the license, as far as we know. Sorry.
Michael B. guessed: "It could be the playable game version of or similar to the Halo comic series where that civilian guy is on Earth when the Covenant invade looking for the key."
... Are you thinking of Masters of the Universe?
From Bill: "leave it up to bungie...gotta love it, im thinking tactical shooter, the HUD reminded me of GRAW, but you never know with bungie"
We like Bill, because he leaves plenty of room for error. Even if he's wrong, he's totally right.
According to DeLarge: "RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHWWWWWRRRRR Keep It clean"
A good point, and one well worth considering.
Stevo sayz: "This has to be a campaign expansion to Halo 3. Think about it-- they added achivements with skulls-- you don't put skulls in Multiplayer Maps. Master Chief is found in space and returned to truly Finish the Fight."
We're fundamentally with you, but campaign expansion doesn't necessarily mean the fight finishing has to be handled by the Chief.
It's j.howlett!: "uhmm. while the military deals with the crisis you clean up the mess like in wall-e"
Seriously, guys. THQ. Licensing. Let it go.
beckerist posits: "I think it could be a map pack, a true map or story editor (hence the need for "keep it clean,") or maybe just maybe an expansion pack (new campaign levels!!!)"
Way to narrow it down, champ.
Gabriel says: "It's ODST or Spartans we didn't know about before. It's not going to be Master Chief, because he doesn't have a drop pod at his disposal in the situation we find him in at the end of Halo 3."
Solid logic, but don't count the Chief out just yet. This is, after all, the same dude that rode a bomb through space just for kicks.
So sayeth amarillopollo: "Looks like they're gonna package some Acid with copies of the game to enhance the experience."
Insane, but you know what? That's outside the box. We like it.
DXEndar speaks: "It's the new Halo 3 MMO !"
It's really not.
Easo wrote: "The covenant, or whats left of it, is on earths side. My guess is that this is where Earth resumes its war with the United Rebel Front. The white light seen in the trailer is an emp blast. The superintendent shows it on his hud just before it goes blank. "
But can the URF kick their Boren's Syndrome for long enough to fight? We're not so sure.
Ryan knows: "it's a new Starship Troopers Game!!!!"
Case = cracked.
Well, that about does it for reader theories. The one that you guys and gals seemed to keep coming back to was an ODST-focused campaign expansion. Who or what's the ODST, you ask? Well, it's lucky we (presumably) have a few months to kill, because you've got some catching up to do.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Mr Khan @ Sep 25th 2008 12:36PM
Obviously voodoo witch doctor revives Chief, so that he can never finish the fight, and never find the sweet escape of death.
unrelated @ Sep 25th 2008 12:52PM
SPOYLAR
He never died.
jayeffaar @ Sep 25th 2008 1:39PM
Hmmm... looks like Mr Khan didn't let the credits roll until the end...
28121986 @ Sep 25th 2008 2:57PM
expect delays…MS pulled the plug at E3
road closed….This is our Last Halo
yellow means yield…yellow=gold, yield=Moolah Gold+Moolah=$$$
pardon our dust…The franchise is too old now?
maddie where are you now…New I.P./New guys developing Halo?
danger flood zone…Halo…Halo…Halo
Look at the cryptic messages...I think this is what they mean....
Mr Khan @ Sep 25th 2008 2:59PM
Never played the campaign, only multiplayer
Devin @ Sep 25th 2008 4:45PM
You guys it's clear.
The new main character is Duke Nukem.
This is the return we've all been waiting for. He's gonna show up and finally mess shit up the way that master chief never even dreamed of.
YESSS!!!
Steven M @ Sep 25th 2008 12:37PM
lolol
Wayne Saunders @ Sep 25th 2008 1:19PM
I heard that we'll be playing as Sarge's cigar - ya know . . . drop!
AwesomeTown @ Sep 25th 2008 12:42PM
I love this post. Justin deserves a hug.
mike shea @ Sep 25th 2008 12:46PM
perfect analysis!!
good job Richard!
brandon_r87 @ Sep 25th 2008 12:47PM
Looks like some link tags got away. Anyway, my take: the chief comes back to take Cortana to the big school dance. Hilarity ensues in this coming of age comedy, but it's not all laughs, as it has a surprise tearjerker ending.
TheLastCritic @ Sep 25th 2008 12:48PM
[YAY! I've been banned!]
Duke @ Sep 25th 2008 12:52PM
Damn, you are so cool.
HighFiveJesus @ Sep 25th 2008 1:00PM
the only good critic is a dead one
(also i like that cartoon)
Fenix @ Sep 25th 2008 1:15PM
*slaps the shit outta TheLastCritic for mentioning Kotapoo then votes him down
ExMcCloud @ Sep 25th 2008 1:25PM
Kotaku and their terrible UI for their web site can eat a sack of baby D#@KS!!!!
Joystiq FOEVAR!!
Sub Zero @ Sep 25th 2008 12:48PM
It's quite obvious to me that Bungie has been working on title updates for Call of Duty 4. Yesterday, I was spawn-killed 20 times in the same match. Only Bungie has the ability to make such crappy respawn points.
Heh @ Sep 25th 2008 12:51PM
...what is this i dont even
Jakka(A tribute to whose who fought and failed during the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir) @ Sep 25th 2008 12:53PM
I'm sorry, but lol wut? Is that some kind of a Freudian slip of a troll? You think about broken respawn and the fingers type Call of Duty 4 subconsciously?
Oh, and Halo spawns are fine as far I recall.
Vegnagun bwf @ Sep 25th 2008 1:05PM
What's not to get from his comment?
J @ Sep 25th 2008 12:49PM
I'm pissed at myself for trading in Halo 3 not more than a month ago. :(
Heh @ Sep 25th 2008 12:50PM
"Orbital Drop Shock Troopers are known for their unorthodox methods of insertion, including orbital drops onto terrestrial environments.
While they are Human, they are overall very different from Marines in the sense that they take the most dangerous, suicidal, and high value target missions. They have no physical differences between the Marines, but they are always ready to "Jump Feet First Into Hell" as their motto goes (This motto comes from the intense heat inside the HEV drop pods.)"
I'll eat my 360 if this isn't an ODST mission expansion pack for Halo 3.
Also it must be a slow day if you guys post an article about an article you just posted.
Vcize @ Sep 25th 2008 2:58PM
"unorthodox methods of insertion"
One time I hooked up with this 35 year old girl and she taught me alllllll about that...
Jakka(A tribute to whose who fought and failed during the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir) @ Sep 25th 2008 12:50PM
Damn, I wish I came up with something crazy!
Duke @ Sep 25th 2008 12:55PM
Its the story of Chief's long lost half-robot pet chicken and his brave fight against the covenant to save his master from almost certain doom...and to sell Mt. Dew. Its the untold story of Chixo-117.
Jakka(A tribute to whose who fought and failed during the Epic Flamewar of L.A. Noir) @ Sep 25th 2008 12:54PM
I see a lot of incoming Halo news. Bitter PS3 fanboys are advised to leave.
Eggy @ Sep 25th 2008 1:03PM
Congrats on managing to fit PS3 in there. Who's the bitter one.
Fenix @ Sep 25th 2008 1:26PM
Eggy is a bitter PS3fanboy...teh confirmed! He was warned but STILL failed to follow orders.
In other more exciting and intruiging news on the PS3 front, Buzz Quiz TV just got a patch for TROPHIES!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!1!!
bobby steez @ Sep 25th 2008 12:56PM
http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=4038796495
Jon2309 @ Sep 25th 2008 1:10PM
Wait, what?
Doubt that's it, but gratz for the ref.
Zertoss @ Sep 25th 2008 12:55PM
We rejoin our hero, Master Chief, floating aimlessly through space. Suddenly, they come in contact with the internet, Cortana is turned into Naked Peach, Master Chief gets Rickrolled, discovers Bridget porn and finally, after a climactic battle with Star Fox, becomes a furry.
Meanwhile, the Covenant are busy trying to find a little robot named WALL-E, who is trashing their outposts as he frantically tries to delete all the porn of his girlfriend.
UDH @ Sep 25th 2008 1:03PM
Haha great post, guys.
Whatever it is, I hope it's awesome ... I hunger for immersive story action. I just hope it's reasonably priced, and decently long.
Juno @ Sep 25th 2008 1:26PM
Judging by the changes from Halo all the way to Halo3 I have come up with the most accurate prediction do date.
The expansion will be a couple new guns, a new game mechanic for the 'hook' that ends up being pointless, a new indoor level, a new flood level, a new vehicle level and another cliffhanger ending.
Plot wise, it will be master chief killing aliens to save humanity.
This will also apply to Halo4 and up.
Neuromancer @ Sep 25th 2008 1:10PM
That was like, the world's longest link!
Obie @ Sep 25th 2008 1:11PM
I love it when Joystiq includes their readers...very cool!
WiNG [Life in a Game] @ Sep 25th 2008 1:19PM
SONIC CONFIRMED FOR HALO 3!!!
brains @ Sep 25th 2008 1:25PM
i was thinking it was going to be bungies personalised version of ratemypoo.com with the whole "prepare for drop" stuff, but your guess of sonic just might beat mine out
343 Guilty Fart @ Sep 25th 2008 1:27PM
Whatever it turns out to be, I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY HALO 3!
You've provided me with many many hours of enjoyment, and no matter what the naysayer trolls think, I will always love you and my heart will go on, etc.
Josh @ Sep 25th 2008 1:31PM
@Teaser Video
"Maddie, Where Are You?"
What's Madeline McCann got to do with Halo 3?
j.howlett @ Sep 25th 2008 1:34PM
hey, i said like wall e you know like gta but at school or like pokémon but digital. i don't see you debunking squad based stuff because of ubisoft.
FOOLKILLER @ Sep 25th 2008 1:48PM
Just my two cents, feel free to blow holes in my theory because I'm not sure if all my facts are accurate. Anyways, here goes. If Bungie was planning on breaking off from MS while they were making Halo3, but they weren't sure if they could do it, could they have left the ending up in the air (masterchief in the ship with Cortana)on purpose? That way if Bungie had to stay with MS then the ending would stay as it is now because they would have to make Halo 4 (obviously) and continue the story. However, since Bungie broke away from MS now they are going to release this expansion to tie up loose ends and give a more gratifying ending because they won't be making a Halo 4? Just a thought. Going along with this theory maybe Chief gets rescued comes back to earth for 3 more campaign levels and we get a cool ending? What's everyone think?
Heh @ Sep 25th 2008 2:16PM
Bungie is a second-party of microsoft's and MS still owns the halo brand.
So, no, sadly your grandchildren will be playing Halo 7.
Dr. Stabbingworth @ Sep 25th 2008 5:33PM
Replace 'sadly' with 'awesomely' and 'grandchildren' with 'self'
Commuto.com @ Sep 25th 2008 1:51PM
Maybe it's something simple like the ability to drop into any game at any time. Not sure if this feature is available right now, but it would make sense, although a whole trailer for it wouldn't. Still "prepare to drop" sounds about right.
Commuto.com
god.kenji @ Sep 25th 2008 2:01PM
This is obviously a geo-political move financed by the military to recoup the moneys lost when Master chief was exploded, in the tune of $$700bn.
After the senate hearing you find out that master chief didn't actually die but was transferred under threat of death to yet a third halo, where the neocon-liberal armada is waiting to unleash another flood, this time armed with adjustable rate mortgages and blackberry's directly tied to NY stock exchange.
Oh and they paint all warthogs pink. The Bastards.
2bit gamer @ Sep 25th 2008 2:14PM
oh god, this s* is funny.
Joystiq/Justin, why haven't you done this before?
Helloimbob @ Sep 25th 2008 2:10PM
Hopefully the 'alternate ending' to Halo 3, where it actually does wrap up all those un-answered questions like Bungie promised.
theturtle363 @ Sep 25th 2008 3:06PM
an alternate ending would be stpid, because it would just mean that MC is reallt still in space, just whatever we play COULD have happened. As it is i doubt we'll be playing as MC anyway
eNrique @ Sep 25th 2008 10:25PM
Thanks Microsoft you just read my mind, exactly what I wanted:
More Halo 3 Crap
*disappears
dark_inchworm @ Sep 25th 2008 2:28PM
Obviously, the character you play is the Superintendent. He and his squad are responsible for "keeping it clean" by cleaning up all the shit left in the wake of the war between the Covenant and the UNSC - hence, the plunger of the cutesy character, which happens to be your character's badge.
Far-fetched, perhaps? ;)