CERN: Only one crowbar received, Gordon Freeman 'impossible to find'
by Ross Miller 
{ Oct 10th 2008 at 2:59PM }
"That man" she is referring to is the Gordon Freeman, of Half-Life infamy, we saw in the picture above. The Large Hadron Collider is currently halted until Spring 2009 due to a "magnet failure" ... or was it? With a supposed malfunction and a missing Gordon Freeman, we need not worry: at least he's got a crowbar.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
John Z @ Oct 10th 2008 3:03PM
Of COURSE you can't find him. There were Unforeseen Consequences and now he's gone. Do I have to spell it out?
The-E @ Oct 11th 2008 7:01AM
"We'll see about that!"
spiderp @ Oct 10th 2008 3:06PM
Wow was that comment real.because that's way to funny
SecretAgentHam @ Oct 10th 2008 3:08PM
Best.Post.Evar.
Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Oct 10th 2008 4:47PM
Funniest thing joystiq has done in awhile.
Phillip @ Oct 10th 2008 3:19PM
If this is pre-Black Mesa, just leave the crowbar near the elevator. He'll find it after the resonance cascade starts.
Graham Wellington (formerly ronald.raygun) @ Oct 10th 2008 3:22PM
well you do start off with the crowbar, by now though he should have the 9mm and machine gun.
i bet gordon messed up the magnet though and will be back around springish
Mike @ Oct 10th 2008 3:24PM
OMG - that's one awesome nerd rap. Possibly the awesomist nerd rap. She's my new hero.
I'm curious as to whether the crowbar is just as hard to find as Gordon. If so, I think we all know it's in good hands.
mko @ Oct 10th 2008 3:29PM
Gman could have sent the crowbar.
Paulmichael @ Oct 10th 2008 3:41PM
This was a triumph...Ah shit, wrong game.
It's scary just how much this guy looks like Freeman, though. I wonder if he knows it or will fess up to who he is. He's gotten pretty famous on the internet, right? Enough to where some of his friends or co-workers would mention something?
Brazell @ Oct 10th 2008 3:46PM
On a side note, is it the least bit worrisome that this guy who is in a press photo standing next to this thing that is going to recreate the big bang ... can't be found? Not from a "man disapeared" point of view, but you'd expect that the people who CERN lets down there are well documented and very easy to track down ... in case ... you know .. .they open up a XEN portal or anything.
Ghoti @ Oct 10th 2008 3:52PM
I'm almost as worried about the guy on the left. He sure looks like Clarence the Angel from It's a Wonderful Life, and as we all know, he's a bit clumsy.
Every time an atom collides, an angel gets his wings...
Marek Hryc @ Oct 10th 2008 3:53PM
Man, I wish I had a quirky Half-life reference to comment.
But alas, I have none.
&rew @ Oct 10th 2008 4:06PM
It has been delayed until 2009, yes, maybe now we will have time to perfect the Gravity gun, which according to my bad understanding of physics, will counter the black hole and save the world.
Elmoogle @ Oct 10th 2008 4:28PM
No worries, him and a security guard buddy of his are just out getting a beer.
syrik zero @ Oct 10th 2008 4:37PM
I don't know what the hell this is about but it's great
Dr. Stabbingworth @ Oct 10th 2008 4:54PM
Someone made a self.reddit post suggesting people send a crowbar to CERN, and eventually, the Reddit overlords did:
http://blog.reddit.com/2008/09/crowbar-headcrab-and-half-life-strategy.html
syrik zero @ Oct 10th 2008 8:14PM
Thank Doctor, that's awesome
Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 4:57PM
"Hey Gordon! Here's that crowbar I've been meaning to give you."
"Now you give it to me...NOW?!?!?!"
"Why, what's the pro--ahhhh!!!!"
*Dude gets headcrabbed*
Enter Half-Life 3.
Shagittarius @ Oct 10th 2008 5:16PM
I wonder if the rap chick would like to sit on my large hadron collider?
Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 5:41PM
Are you sure you don't have a black hole?
Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Oct 10th 2008 7:03PM
I have both.
That guy @ Oct 10th 2008 7:31PM
A super massive black hole?
Marc @ Oct 10th 2008 5:20PM
Um, that's a torque wrench. Sorry to spoil the joke.
Trulz @ Oct 10th 2008 5:23PM
No one was saying that that's a crowbar.
Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 5:41PM
It's implied.
Party-pooper.
Ross Miller @ Oct 10th 2008 6:11PM
While the crowbar isn't in the picture (and it's not meant to be implied as such in the post -- we'd be actually scared if that many pieces fell into place), what we're referring to is a crowbar that actually *was* sent to CERN (see the reddit comment above).
Riley @ Oct 10th 2008 6:28PM
yeah, this is the picture that inspired them to send in the crowbar, so of course it's not in the picture
Justin @ Oct 10th 2008 5:58PM
Conditions could not be more ideal!
Sam @ Oct 10th 2008 6:38PM
Check in the room where they are keeping the HEV-Suit!
BPMOmega [gamertag] @ Oct 10th 2008 8:21PM
Well, if they can't find Gordon... maybe they can call upon John.
Ya know, so he can live up to his family name and face full-life consequences?
mergedwarrior @ Oct 10th 2008 10:34PM
Looks like we'll just have to wait till after the test!
RevoCluts @ Oct 10th 2008 11:33PM
FINALLY someone can explain these shit in a way I understand it.
ganrob @ Oct 11th 2008 7:27AM
there is no way of confirming that he is the freeman, for he is unable to speak.
minimalniemand @ Oct 14th 2008 9:38AM
the LHC is currently halted right? I guess they try to implement these alien crystals they found.
Guess what happens when they start putting specimens of these crystals into the beam.
that also explains, where the Freeman is atm