CERN: Only one crowbar received, Gordon Freeman 'impossible to find'

by Ross Miller { Oct 10th 2008 at 2:59PM }

Even more terrible news, folks: CERN, the group responsible for the Large Hadron Collider, have only received one crowbar. In a message to Joystiq, "Large Hadron Rap" creator alpinekat (who also happens to work with CERN on the project) told us, "To my knowledge, there has been only one crowbar sent to CERN. I tried to track down that man, but he's impossible to find."

"That man" she is referring to is the Gordon Freeman, of Half-Life infamy, we saw in the picture above. The Large Hadron Collider is currently halted until Spring 2009 due to a "magnet failure" ... or was it? With a supposed malfunction and a missing Gordon Freeman, we need not worry: at least he's got a crowbar.

Tags: cern, crowbar, gordon-freeman, half-life, half-life-2, large-hadron-collider, lhc

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

John Z @ Oct 10th 2008 3:03PM

Of COURSE you can't find him. There were Unforeseen Consequences and now he's gone. Do I have to spell it out?

The-E @ Oct 11th 2008 7:01AM

"We'll see about that!"

spiderp @ Oct 10th 2008 3:06PM

Wow was that comment real.because that's way to funny

SecretAgentHam @ Oct 10th 2008 3:08PM

Best.Post.Evar.

Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Oct 10th 2008 4:47PM

Funniest thing joystiq has done in awhile.

Phillip @ Oct 10th 2008 3:19PM

If this is pre-Black Mesa, just leave the crowbar near the elevator. He'll find it after the resonance cascade starts.

Graham Wellington (formerly ronald.raygun) @ Oct 10th 2008 3:22PM

well you do start off with the crowbar, by now though he should have the 9mm and machine gun.

i bet gordon messed up the magnet though and will be back around springish

Mike @ Oct 10th 2008 3:24PM

OMG - that's one awesome nerd rap. Possibly the awesomist nerd rap. She's my new hero.

I'm curious as to whether the crowbar is just as hard to find as Gordon. If so, I think we all know it's in good hands.

mko @ Oct 10th 2008 3:29PM

Gman could have sent the crowbar.

Paulmichael @ Oct 10th 2008 3:41PM

This was a triumph...Ah shit, wrong game.

It's scary just how much this guy looks like Freeman, though. I wonder if he knows it or will fess up to who he is. He's gotten pretty famous on the internet, right? Enough to where some of his friends or co-workers would mention something?

Brazell @ Oct 10th 2008 3:46PM

On a side note, is it the least bit worrisome that this guy who is in a press photo standing next to this thing that is going to recreate the big bang ... can't be found? Not from a "man disapeared" point of view, but you'd expect that the people who CERN lets down there are well documented and very easy to track down ... in case ... you know .. .they open up a XEN portal or anything.

Ghoti @ Oct 10th 2008 3:52PM

I'm almost as worried about the guy on the left. He sure looks like Clarence the Angel from It's a Wonderful Life, and as we all know, he's a bit clumsy.

Every time an atom collides, an angel gets his wings...

Marek Hryc @ Oct 10th 2008 3:53PM

Man, I wish I had a quirky Half-life reference to comment.
But alas, I have none.

&rew @ Oct 10th 2008 4:06PM

It has been delayed until 2009, yes, maybe now we will have time to perfect the Gravity gun, which according to my bad understanding of physics, will counter the black hole and save the world.

Elmoogle @ Oct 10th 2008 4:28PM

No worries, him and a security guard buddy of his are just out getting a beer.

syrik zero @ Oct 10th 2008 4:37PM

I don't know what the hell this is about but it's great

Dr. Stabbingworth @ Oct 10th 2008 4:54PM

Someone made a self.reddit post suggesting people send a crowbar to CERN, and eventually, the Reddit overlords did:

http://blog.reddit.com/2008/09/crowbar-headcrab-and-half-life-strategy.html

syrik zero @ Oct 10th 2008 8:14PM

Thank Doctor, that's awesome

Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 4:57PM

"Hey Gordon! Here's that crowbar I've been meaning to give you."

"Now you give it to me...NOW?!?!?!"

"Why, what's the pro--ahhhh!!!!"

*Dude gets headcrabbed*

Enter Half-Life 3.

Shagittarius @ Oct 10th 2008 5:16PM

I wonder if the rap chick would like to sit on my large hadron collider?

Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 5:41PM

Are you sure you don't have a black hole?

Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Oct 10th 2008 7:03PM

I have both.

That guy @ Oct 10th 2008 7:31PM

A super massive black hole?

Marc @ Oct 10th 2008 5:20PM

Um, that's a torque wrench. Sorry to spoil the joke.

Trulz @ Oct 10th 2008 5:23PM

No one was saying that that's a crowbar.

Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 10th 2008 5:41PM

It's implied.

Party-pooper.

Ross Miller @ Oct 10th 2008 6:11PM

While the crowbar isn't in the picture (and it's not meant to be implied as such in the post -- we'd be actually scared if that many pieces fell into place), what we're referring to is a crowbar that actually *was* sent to CERN (see the reddit comment above).