Premature ejaculation is, as you know, great. First, it's a real time-saver. You can finish the base act of copulation and be off and about your business. Second, you can save a TON of money on shady rent-by-the-minute motels, not to mention prostitutes (sometimes you don't even have to stop the car or -- for some extreme cases -- roll the window down all the way!).
As if all that weren't great enough, now it appears that the gene that makes you a premature ejaculator is linked to quick reflexes, or to put it another way: You're better at
stop and pop if you're known to pop and stop.
[Via
ShackNews]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Haggard (Mr.ESC resurrected on a... thursday?!) @ Oct 10th 2008 6:03PM
The quicker you finish up, the quicker you can get back to gaming.
Hala Madrid!! (PSWii60 Defense Force) @ Oct 10th 2008 6:22PM
HA HA true :D
guidedbyvoip @ Oct 10th 2008 7:34PM
Good point. So headline should read: "Gamers might be better at premature ejaculations."
TFTFY :)
Ridgecity @ Oct 10th 2008 9:35PM
In nature the faster you can reproduce the better your evolution is. Sadly, women want neanderthals that can take an hour pleasuring her while the guy wants to finish before he gets a heart attack...
Tiptup300 @ Oct 11th 2008 12:05AM
I hope it doesn't work backwards. =/
Hashbrown Hunter @ Oct 11th 2008 5:18AM
That's depressing.
In so many ways.
Cr4sh Dummy @ Oct 12th 2008 3:25AM
Epic win.
JerJer @ Oct 10th 2008 6:04PM
ok what the FUCK
knighty (GT: ZeraKnight) @ Oct 10th 2008 6:09PM
I'd like to echo that statement.
kinshadow @ Oct 10th 2008 6:32PM
What the fu... whoops, nevermind
Stephen M @ Oct 10th 2008 6:36PM
I totally WTF'd.
BananaBoat @ Oct 10th 2008 7:07PM
That's right baby, talk dirty to me. Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... crap, headshot again. That's going to take forever to clean up.
Haggard (Mr.ESC resurrected on a... thursday?!) @ Oct 10th 2008 7:23PM
Dude..
BananaBoat @ Oct 10th 2008 7:32PM
What? It happens.
EmoChicksAreHot.....Seriously @ Oct 11th 2008 12:53AM
How the hell do you find this out?!?!
JoeTheBlow @ Oct 10th 2008 6:05PM
What about if you're great at games, but you've never even so much as *touched* a women?
What does that make you? (i'm asking for a friend)
Mutagenaric @ Oct 10th 2008 6:27PM
That... would make you me. XD
BananaBoat @ Oct 10th 2008 7:09PM
You'd be a solo artist. (In the art of premature ejaculation)
Nick the Hero of Canton @ Oct 10th 2008 6:07PM
Best. Headline. Ever.
KeenCommander @ Oct 10th 2008 6:20PM
Strangest. Headline. Ever.
ExMcCloud @ Oct 10th 2008 6:31PM
Most inaccurate headline ever? Ladies love my Joystick?
Maverick Saturn @ Oct 10th 2008 6:48PM
I'm guessing yours is Wii Ex.
Damn Sony, you should have kept that vibrator ¬_¬
BananaBoat @ Oct 10th 2008 7:11PM
I pose the following question to all of you:
Are premature ejaculators better at games, or are gamers better at prematurely ejaculating?
You be the judge.
CubeGuy @ Oct 12th 2008 2:42AM
Best. Tags. Ever.
Pyramat @ Oct 10th 2008 6:08PM
LOL!!!!!
JohnMazz @ Oct 10th 2008 10:09PM
More like Joy-Stick, amirite?
Comet @ Oct 10th 2008 6:09PM
Im so fast I cum when I pick up Hookers in GTA.
j.howlett @ Oct 10th 2008 6:10PM
chronic masterbaters might be better at wii mini games
Monkeys Suck @ Oct 10th 2008 6:19PM
Soda can game ftw
Markez @ Oct 10th 2008 6:29PM
Yes, please see 'shake the can' in Mario Party 8.
Mr Khan @ Oct 10th 2008 6:38PM
Also NMH
Get your flaccid battery power back up.
samfish @ Oct 10th 2008 9:12PM
I'll admit it...my jacking off 8+ times a day has led to my incredibly 1337 waggle skillz.
Rein @ Oct 11th 2008 4:13AM
The sad thing is... Of all the times I've played that mini game in Mario Party 8, I've always lost to girls. Apparently their masturbation techniques are greater than my own! :(
Markez @ Oct 11th 2008 1:57PM
Good lord, Rein, that's weird.
My girl always wins at that one herself.
Good sign?
Xoviet chiK - Bungie Fangirl @ Oct 10th 2008 6:10PM
I guess I don't despise all the kids that "rape" and "pwn" us anymore, I kind of pity them :)
SecretAgentHam @ Oct 10th 2008 6:11PM
i know what u mean haha
Mauricio @ Oct 10th 2008 6:10PM
no-fucking-wonder i Suck at COD4.
SecretAgentHam @ Oct 10th 2008 6:11PM
hmm. maybe thats why i suck at gears of war online lol...
kinshadow @ Oct 10th 2008 6:29PM
You wished you sucked as much as I do
ExMcCloud @ Oct 10th 2008 6:36PM
You wish you GOT sucked as much as I do?
Maverick Saturn @ Oct 10th 2008 6:46PM
Roflamo ExMcCloud, you certianly know how to make people look gay don't you.
ExMcCloud @ Oct 10th 2008 6:54PM
well I was just tryin to help the kid out....lmao...Cuz we all like getting sucked I think?
SecretAgentHam @ Oct 10th 2008 7:01PM
right u are lol
Ted @ Oct 10th 2008 6:11PM
Say Whaaa...
doubleyewdee @ Oct 10th 2008 6:12PM
Nice job on the tags, Justin.
TheOverlord#2 @ Oct 10th 2008 10:01PM
BURN!
Gun Barrier @ Oct 10th 2008 6:16PM
lol, I had to read the headline twice.
BigD145 @ Oct 10th 2008 6:17PM
I guess that's news to go along with "Plastics ingredient linked to smaller penises."
Shagittarius @ Oct 10th 2008 6:20PM
But most gamers will never know, isn't it ironic?
ExMcCloud @ Oct 10th 2008 6:37PM
Yeah they will...I bet HANDulina will tell them as soon as she takes their virginity