We're big fans of Mark Wahlberg, despite his
apparent lack of a sense of humor and his
oftentimes horrible body of work. We're also big fans of Rockstar's bullet-time infused noir-fest,
Max Payne. We also have a minor crush on the button cute Mila Kunis. We're also of the firm opinion that Ludacris is the greatest musician of our generation. Therefore,
on paper, it would seem as though the new
Max Payne flick would be the
Citizen Kane of video game adaptations.
On celluloid, however, the film apparently falls flat -- as these early reviews indicate.
- Peter Travers - Rolling Stone: "Max Payne is a dank, dispiriting cop flick that merely requires Wahlberg to wear a scowl that could have been painted on digitally with more expressiveness."
- Kyle Smith - New York Post: "This movie also has Blade Runner on its mind, and Raymond Chandler, but mostly it's a weak little sister to Sin City."
- James Berardinelli - ReelViews: "Maybe fans of the game will be okay with the cinematic adaptation but for those who are new to Max and his world, this isn't an impressive introduction."
- John Anderson - Newsday: "Mark Wahlberg, who has proved himself a very capable actor ("The Departed"), seems to have nominated himself for the Russell Crowe Lack of Charisma Award, and is running a pretty convincing campaign."
- Claudia Puig - USA Today: "Max Payne couldn't be more appropriately named. Sitting through this stylish-looking but derivative, vacuous and bullet-riddled movie inflicts maximum pain."
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Arno @ Oct 18th 2008 12:09PM
"Max Payne is a dank, dispiriting cop flick that merely requires Wahlberg to wear a scowl that could have been painted on digitally with more expressiveness."
Ouch... well, I don't think anybody actually expected this movie to be good.
brother.rope @ Oct 18th 2008 12:36PM
I did..trailer looked epic :\
elmersglue @ Oct 18th 2008 12:59PM
Seems like critics hated it, but user ratings on both yahoo movies and IMDB aren't too bad so far.
BigD145 @ Oct 18th 2008 1:03PM
Trailers are always epic. So epic, you don't even need to watch the movie.
offday @ Oct 18th 2008 1:47PM
Well I thought it looked good. And I still think it does. The fact that these "professional critics", and I use that term lightly, hated Max Payne only makes me think I'll like it even more. Usually the movies they love and praise are boring buckets full of pure crap.
Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Oct 18th 2008 2:38PM
@offday
Don't be fooled into thinking that. That was what I thought right before I saw Max Payne. The movie is one of the few examples where movie critics are right.
anthonyjh @ Oct 18th 2008 5:08PM
To say that movie critics are "wrong" is pretty bigoted. It's opinion, nothing more. Professional reviews help me decide what movie I'll see on the weekend, because their tastes generally line up with mine.
LaughingTarget @ Oct 18th 2008 8:46PM
Disliking movie critics isn't bigoted. A critic is a profession, not an ethnicity.
anthonyjh @ Oct 19th 2008 4:20AM
Buy a dictionary, clown.
Psalm Bowser @ Oct 19th 2008 7:49AM
Buy a dictionary, Anthony.
LT called you look like a fool and instead of taking the humiliation gracefully, you lash out like a silly child.
A Pissed-off English Gamer @ Oct 19th 2008 3:12PM
Critics simply give opinions; they don't have the super-human ability to parse subjective opinions from objective fact.
heypaul @ Oct 20th 2008 2:48PM
But they've seen a lot more movies than you. And one would assume that a person who has waded through all the crap on a subject would know good from bad better than most. For example, I'd expect people like you and I who "know" video games would have better taste than the Carnival Games buying casual crowd.
Superstar90 @ Oct 18th 2008 12:10PM
Say hi to your mother for me okay?
theturtle363 @ Oct 18th 2008 12:11PM
hey chicken, I like you, we should do a movie together. I'm Mark Wahlberg.
I wasn't expecting anything more than a paltry bullet filled mess and im thinking ill be pleased with it when i see it tonight.
Markez @ Oct 18th 2008 8:19PM
Hey turtle, nice beard, say hi to your mother for me.
Slayer @ Oct 18th 2008 12:16PM
This really isn't surprising at all.
Psalm Bowser @ Oct 18th 2008 12:17PM
Come on. Who really thought this movie wouldn't be anything other than trash? It stars a 3rd rate rapper, Marky Mark, and the fat girl from Family Guy; it was clearly built for success.
This just solidifies my opinion that there is no game that can make a compelling film at present, so they should stop trying, stop throwing money away. Stories in video games are horrid, there's no escaping that fact. Maybe in 10-20 years the situation could change, but, at present, I'd say gaming is well too foetal to start transferring to other more established mediums. Most gaming studios struggle with the basic idea of narrative, let alone crafting a great one.
Constipation face FTW.
offday @ Oct 18th 2008 1:49PM
You can't make up your mind for yourself? You have to let other people do it for you?
Batzarro @ Oct 18th 2008 2:52PM
Allright, this is the definition of contradiction. First, you say that the individual pieces are a sign the movie can't be good, then you go on to say it confirms your suspicion the concept of a game to film is the one that is flawed. You see, you can't have it both ways. Either it's impossible to make a good game based on a movie or the components for this one were badly chosen.
I tend in most cases to believe it's the latter. I haven't seen Max Payne yet, so I dunno.
bigsim @ Oct 19th 2008 3:32AM
I don't think it's that the game wouldn't have translated into film well, necessarily - it's just that THEY didn't translate it well. The story and the prose were the reasons I liked the games so much, and I think both of those elements could have made a damn good movie.
bigsim @ Oct 19th 2008 5:52AM
Also, they made a compelling film based on a freaking theme park ride. Blaming the faults of the film on the original's medium is bullshit.
Psalm Bowser @ Oct 19th 2008 5:41AM
Batty, there is no contradiction.
The fragments of a poor movie, bad actors, added to what is an impossibility at this point, a decent video game movie, combined to create this trash. The elements were in place for failure. And if I have a "suspicion", that still leaves room for me to be proven wrong. It is not a closed door, just one that is locked with some sort of incredible granite.
STFU, Offday.
Rob Accomando @ Oct 18th 2008 12:17PM
ok, but it is better than House of the Dead?
MrTroy @ Oct 18th 2008 3:12PM
Gettin punched in the crotch by a 100MPH Ram with a giant steel boxing glove on it's head is better than House of the Dead.
Haggard @ Oct 18th 2008 12:19PM
Was expecting this.. hope it spurs them to make a Max Payne 3 (and a decent one by Remedy at that).
Cooler912 @ Oct 18th 2008 12:24PM
He's not dead!! ... He's here ...
Blackmagic1o0 @ Oct 18th 2008 12:30PM
John Anderson - Newsday: "Mark Wahlberg, who has proved himself a very capable actor ("The Departed"), seems to have nominated himself for the Russell Crowe Lack of Charisma Award, and is running a pretty convincing campaign."
Blackmagic1o0 @ Oct 18th 2008 12:32PM
^^^^ lmao wow that is probably one of the funniest critic statements i have ever seen......LOL!!!
Ottozero @ Oct 18th 2008 12:32PM
God this movie sucked.... I just wanted to leave...but I was with my Younger brother so I had to gutt it out.... Horrible Movie... I want my Money back....
Conor @ Oct 18th 2008 12:33PM
....
So when's those Halo and Gears of War movie adaptations coming out?
Nap @ Oct 18th 2008 12:47PM
:(
mutd1999 @ Oct 18th 2008 1:04PM
It wasn't a masterpiece by any means, but I enjoyed it far more than most other revenge flicks that I can bring to mind.
GreyFox @ Oct 20th 2008 10:48AM
I liked it a bit too but the real fault is on the director or studio for doing a butchers job on editing. I mean holy fuck what a hack job.
The move itself isn't that bad but it could be much better.
SexyKittyKat2U @ Oct 18th 2008 1:05PM
Is it worse than The Mummy 3?
If so then I feel bad for Marky Mark...
Dav @ Oct 18th 2008 1:22PM
I saw this on opening night. It was a fullhouse.
Not only did people leave halfway through, but for those of us who sat through this crap, it was terrible. When people left at the end, I heard atleast 10 different people say how bad it was. In fact, it was the worst movie I've seen in a while...
Just another crappy video-game adaptation.. :S
FSK405K @ Oct 18th 2008 6:48PM
Iy can't be worse than Traitor, which is actually dangerous to the public's perception on the war on terror.
Stink Snake @ Oct 18th 2008 1:41PM
Wow, a movie is bad when a quote whore like Peter Travers doesn't write, "Dark, sexy, mysterious and explosive Max Payne has it all."
I wonder what crappy critics' quotes they'll have to highlight for the ads and the back of the DVD.
Kyouryuu @ Oct 18th 2008 1:54PM
"It's a Blast!" - Washington Post on Super Mario Bros.
Haggard @ Oct 18th 2008 3:06PM
They find ways, there's a TV critic here called Charlie Brooker who wrote about a magician as "weirdly amusing, when compared to " or to that effect.
Then a year later, he noticed his quote was on the guy's poster, except they cut the last bit out so that it simply said "weirdly amusing".
zuburi @ Oct 18th 2008 8:29PM
I'll do it for them.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone: "Max Payne is a dank, dispiriting cop... Wahlberg [is] digitally expressive."
Kyle Smith - New York Post: "This movie also has Blade Runner on its mind... but mostly it's... Sin City."
James Berardinelli - ReelViews: "...fans of the game will be okay with the cinematic adaptation... for those who are new to Max and his world, this is... an impressive introduction."
John Anderson - Newsday: "Mark Wahlberg... has proved himself a very capable actor."
Claudia Puig - USA Today: "...stylish-looking... bullet-riddled movie."
Hey Hollywood! MONEY PLEEZE!
Abuzar Baloach @ Oct 18th 2008 10:32PM
Hey Zuburi, you sound like Stephen Colbert.
+2
kiwi @ Oct 19th 2008 9:43PM
@zuburi: You sir, wins one intarweb
GenBanks @ Oct 18th 2008 1:47PM
It probably doesn't have bullet time. So yeah, definitely a flop.
silverfox @ Oct 18th 2008 1:56PM
actually it does have bullet time, not that many but there are a few scenes. The most memorable one is when max has a shotgun and there is a guy behind him. I think that was very well done.
GenBanks @ Oct 18th 2008 1:57PM
Hehe, I guess I have reevaluate my preconceptions then ;)
rickjamess @ Oct 18th 2008 1:47PM
The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".
silverfox @ Oct 18th 2008 1:49PM
Really? Whats with all the hate? Sure Wahlberg was a bit stiff and there wasn't as much action as i would have liked, but overall it was one of the better game-to-movie adaptations. The trailer is a bit misleading, it gives you a action oriented vibe, however the movie is story driven with a bit of action thrown in. The dark atmosphere, the setting with a very run down and dirty city with constant snow, the stylized camera work, the colours used for the movie, all give homage to the game. It stayed true to the game for the most part. Plus Olga Kurylenko is uber hot.
Patrick @ Oct 18th 2008 4:46PM
Haven't you heard? Its cool to hate.
slingshotz06 @ Oct 18th 2008 1:57PM
I saw this movie at midnight on friday. I honestly dont know what these reviewers are thinking. It was honestly VERY well made, and true to the game's story. Some parts did not match up too much, but it in the end it was for the good of the movie.
Ill admit it needed more dialogue, but all in all the best Game to Movie i've ever seen, and one of the better movies i've seen recently. How do they give Wanted (a craptastic movie) such great scores, and game this great movie such low scores.
Movie critics can go suck on one.
silverfox @ Oct 18th 2008 2:02PM
totally agree with you.