If we had to describe the past week to you, we would probably say that it was very educational. Actually, that's not what we'd say at all, our true answer would likely be laden with copious amounts of crying and more profanity than a Bob Saget stand-up comedy special. For decency's sake, we'll explain it to you, dear readers, as being positively chock-full of education.

How so, you might inquire? Well, first and foremost, we've learned to never trust colleagues who claim to have discerned knowledge from the future based solely on their favorable placement on the time zone chart. We've learned that entering the stock market during a period of remarkable turmoil is an unfathomably unwise course of action. We've also learned that Chihuahuas, while adorable, are not what established investors would refer to as "blue chip" stocks. Finally, we've learned the sort of anguish one feels when they lose their entire savings and all personal property within a matter of hours, and, as a result, how to build a comfortable dwelling out of a hollowed-out Maytag dishwasher.

The Japanese video game industry seems to have had an equally disastrous week, with significant decreases in hardware sales across the board. However, it's difficult for us to feel pity for the companies involved in this weekly Battle Royale -- we wager nobody at Sony, Microsoft or Nintendo has been forced to learn the proper way to cook and eat shoes due to the unfortunate figures you see below.

- DS Lite: 31,914 10,471 (24.70%)
- PSP: 23,901 2,144 (8.23%)
- Wii: 22,877 2,453 (9.68%)
- Xbox 360: 7,763 508 (6.14%)
- PS2: 6,982 1,636 (18.98%)
- PS3: 5,734 1,498 (20.71%)

[Source: Media Create]

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