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Joystiq

ESRB reveals new rating summaries, we await comedy gold

by Alexander Sliwinski on Nov 12th 2008 12:45PM

In what's sure to lead to some awkward moments in the future, the Entertainment Software Ratings Board has added new "rating summaries" to its site. By doing so, the ESRB is going down the BBFC's road of being overly descriptive in its content ratings and thus opening itself up to the inevitable, context-lacking descriptions of things like "implied child rape" and lesbian alien sex.

The ESRB's new summary reports only exist for games rated by the organization after July 1, 2008. Therefore, you'll get a summary for Far Cry 2, but not for Gears of War 2. Speaking of the FC2 summary -- it lists the bad words used in the game, with an asterisk replacing the vowel, and dialogue containing references to sexuality ("D*cks pay good money to watch girls sh*g chaps like you...").

We're totally going to make a game out of this. Try covering up the game titles and matching them with the content summary blurbs!

Source (Warning: PDF link)

Tags: DS, entertainment-software-rating-board, entertainment-software-ratings-board, esrb, PS3, PSP, Wii, Xbox-360

Reader Comments (32)

The only sexual theme I saw in FC2 was when I moved the grab icon over some boobies

""D*cks pay good money to watch girls sh*g chaps like you...""

I can't believe they said 'chaps'. Ludwig is this a typical word amongst the bushmen?

Sh*gittarius, if you please.

"Female characters are depicted in revealing clothing with exaggerated breast proportions and movement."

Any guesses?

Bratz: Rock Angelz?

Metroid!

Every video game ever?

Quest for Booty Call

Soul Calibur IV

How about... "You play as the son of god who is tasked with fixing the damage caused by your fathers drunken bender. You will be tasked with the massacre of innocents including women, children, and Daikon Radishes. Eventually you will show entire countries, hemispheres, and finally planets who is boss"

Need a hint?

Na naaaaaaaaaaaa nanananananananananananana dadumdadadum Na naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nanananananannananananananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I missed...... fail

I really think this is a great idea.
God knows how many times ive tried finding details about a game to see if its fine to download for my brothers.

Seems like theyre taking a page from Kidsinmind

Take an E-rated game and provide a (truthful) rating summary that makes it seem like an M- or AO-rated title.

I'll be back ...

Spore should say:

"Lighted hearted game offline, Online however filled with disturbing amount of penis's, in fact may be the highest concentration of penises in a game ever"

Children, eternally truant from school and predominantly raised by single unemployed parents, enslave creatures and force them to battle for amusement and to extort money from one another. The creatures also engage in sexual activity, occasionally incestuous. The creatures may also be summarily executed with no repercussions.

@burritoclock - outside of Second Life, you mean? :)

@John Z - you've stumped me ... my first thought is Pokemon?

Children undertake a journey into a new land fraught with peril and death at every turn.

Features: death by disease, death by indians, death by starvation, drowning, death by thirst, animal attacks, and price gouging.

@ John Z

The whole sexual activity thing is making me think Viva Pinata for sure, otherwise I would have said Pokemon like rbtroj

"A plumber must consume of mushrooms, leaves, and flowers in order to rescue his kidnapped lover from the clutches of a ruthless dinosaur tyrant.

On his journey, the hero must perform such acts as smashing enemies underfoot, setting fire to wildlife, and extracting turtles from their shells.

The hero is also able to mount reptilian creatures, which can be forced to devour enemies along their path."

Yeah, mine was Pokemon. The "extort money" should have been the big clue. I was, however, unaware of any procreation recreation in Viva Pinata; thus, I shall relate my immediate reaction of "EWWW!" and go on with my life.

@Shag: Too, too easy. Not gonna spoil it except to say that those wagon wheels could also be pretty damn suggestive.

There is "sexual activity" in Pokemon, as they've included a Breeding Center ever since Gold/Silver.

Though I do believe they're coded a way of preventing Pokemon breeding with parents (it's not brought up in game, but it's there)

1. find pokemon
2. force your pokemon to beat the other senseless
3. trap other pokemon in small container
4. remove pokemon from it's family, friends and natural habitat
5. use newly acquired pokemon to capture more
6. repeat

@Shagittarius

Oregon Trail?

You guys got it!

The ESRB- always bringing the LULZ

"D*cks pay good money to watch girls sh*g chaps like you..."

I don't see what so offensive about ducks paying good money to watch girls shug chaps like them.

Just trying to figure out what a shug is... my best guess is a "supper-hug".

can they do a retro review on The Rule of the Rose

the usual dog in bag bashing and water dousing humiliation etc

Semprini?

This is gonna be like what Bush did for political humorists.
Can't wait.

Ducks pay money to dance the shag with pants?
WTF?!?!

This will be hilarious

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Breaking News

ESRB reveals new rating summaries, we await comedy gold

Reader Comments (32)

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 12:49PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 12:56PM Shagittarius said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:12PM copa said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:07PM Dr said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:11PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:13PM Mr Khan said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:18PM AwesomeTown said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:20PM Tiptup300 said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:43PM Slaziman said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 6:07PM BananaBoat said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 6:08PM BananaBoat said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:14PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:20PM rbtroj said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:29PM Burritoclock said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:38PM John Z said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:43PM rbtroj said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:49PM Shagittarius said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:51PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:56PM TRTX said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:57PM John Z said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:58PM TRTX said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 2:31PM Supermanisdead said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 3:13PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 3:27PM Shagittarius said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 6:09PM BananaBoat said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 1:40PM Fox City said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 2:40PM Killing Chronos said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 2:56PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 4:28PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 5:30PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 12th 2008 6:24PM Shmil said

Posted: Nov 14th 2008 9:28PM (Unverified) said

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