ESRB reveals new rating summaries, we await comedy gold

by Alexander Sliwinski { Nov 12th 2008 at 12:45PM }

In what's sure to lead to some awkward moments in the future, the Entertainment Software Ratings Board has added new "rating summaries" to its site. By doing so, the ESRB is going down the BBFC's road of being overly descriptive in its content ratings and thus opening itself up to the inevitable, context-lacking descriptions of things like "implied child rape" and lesbian alien sex.

The ESRB's new summary reports only exist for games rated by the organization after July 1, 2008. Therefore, you'll get a summary for Far Cry 2, but not for Gears of War 2. Speaking of the FC2 summary -- it lists the bad words used in the game, with an asterisk replacing the vowel, and dialogue containing references to sexuality ("D*cks pay good money to watch girls sh*g chaps like you...").

We're totally going to make a game out of this. Try covering up the game titles and matching them with the content summary blurbs!

Source (Warning: PDF link)

Tags: entertainment-software-rating-board, entertainment-software-ratings-board, esrb

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Titanium_Orchid @ Nov 12th 2008 12:49PM

The only sexual theme I saw in FC2 was when I moved the grab icon over some boobies

Shagittarius @ Nov 12th 2008 12:56PM

""D*cks pay good money to watch girls sh*g chaps like you...""

I can't believe they said 'chaps'. Ludwig is this a typical word amongst the bushmen?

copa @ Nov 12th 2008 1:12PM

Sh*gittarius, if you please.

Dr. @ Nov 12th 2008 1:07PM

"Female characters are depicted in revealing clothing with exaggerated breast proportions and movement."

Any guesses?

Titanium_Orchid @ Nov 12th 2008 1:11PM

Bratz: Rock Angelz?

Mr Khan @ Nov 12th 2008 1:13PM

Metroid!

AwesomeTown @ Nov 12th 2008 1:18PM

Every video game ever?

Tiptup300 @ Nov 12th 2008 1:20PM

Quest for Booty Call

Slaziman @ Nov 12th 2008 1:43PM

Soul Calibur IV

BananaBoat @ Nov 12th 2008 6:07PM

How about... "You play as the son of god who is tasked with fixing the damage caused by your fathers drunken bender. You will be tasked with the massacre of innocents including women, children, and Daikon Radishes. Eventually you will show entire countries, hemispheres, and finally planets who is boss"

Need a hint?

Na naaaaaaaaaaaa nanananananananananananana dadumdadadum Na naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nanananananannananananananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

BananaBoat @ Nov 12th 2008 6:08PM

I missed...... fail

Cubfan786 @ Nov 12th 2008 1:14PM

I really think this is a great idea.
God knows how many times ive tried finding details about a game to see if its fine to download for my brothers.

Seems like theyre taking a page from Kidsinmind

rbtroj @ Nov 12th 2008 1:20PM

Take an E-rated game and provide a (truthful) rating summary that makes it seem like an M- or AO-rated title.

I'll be back ...

Burritoclock @ Nov 12th 2008 1:29PM

Spore should say:

"Lighted hearted game offline, Online however filled with disturbing amount of penis's, in fact may be the highest concentration of penises in a game ever"

John Z @ Nov 12th 2008 1:38PM

Children, eternally truant from school and predominantly raised by single unemployed parents, enslave creatures and force them to battle for amusement and to extort money from one another. The creatures also engage in sexual activity, occasionally incestuous. The creatures may also be summarily executed with no repercussions.

rbtroj @ Nov 12th 2008 1:43PM

@burritoclock - outside of Second Life, you mean? :)

@John Z - you've stumped me ... my first thought is Pokemon?

Shagittarius @ Nov 12th 2008 1:49PM

Children undertake a journey into a new land fraught with peril and death at every turn.

Features: death by disease, death by indians, death by starvation, drowning, death by thirst, animal attacks, and price gouging.

StrangeBum @ Nov 12th 2008 1:51PM

@ John Z

The whole sexual activity thing is making me think Viva Pinata for sure, otherwise I would have said Pokemon like rbtroj

T @ Nov 12th 2008 1:56PM

"A plumber must consume of mushrooms, leaves, and flowers in order to rescue his kidnapped lover from the clutches of a ruthless dinosaur tyrant.

On his journey, the hero must perform such acts as smashing enemies underfoot, setting fire to wildlife, and extracting turtles from their shells.

The hero is also able to mount reptilian creatures, which can be forced to devour enemies along their path."

John Z @ Nov 12th 2008 1:57PM

Yeah, mine was Pokemon. The "extort money" should have been the big clue. I was, however, unaware of any procreation recreation in Viva Pinata; thus, I shall relate my immediate reaction of "EWWW!" and go on with my life.

@Shag: Too, too easy. Not gonna spoil it except to say that those wagon wheels could also be pretty damn suggestive.