Xbox Phat makes Time's 'Microsoft Moments'

by James Ransom-Wiley { Nov 12th 2008 at 4:16PM }

The original Xbox was no toy. It weighed more than your kid. The controller brought new meaning to "man hands" -- the darn thing was known as the "Duke," after all. In short, this was a man's console. And what could be manlier than a "mankind-vs-aliens space opera," its featured launch title?

Time has honored the big rig as one of its "Top 10 Microsoft Moments," barely nudging out the disastrous Vista launch for the #8 spot (er, chronologically, at least). To make this moment more meta, let's all share our top Xbox moments in the comments below. Was it when your house burned down? Or the time dad nailed it to a tree? Or how about installing that really groovy mod chip?

Ours: The first time we signed into Live and caught an earful of "$#!@%!!" Yep, it was a special moment -- even recorded it in our diary that night:

may 6, 2003

dear diary,

signed up for xbox LIVE today! played our first online match of return to castle wolfenstein as the medic but there was a lot of shouting. got cornered by leaping enemies -- died real quick. then they gathered over our body and repeatedly crouched -- up and down, up and down -- until we respawned. we tried to ask a teammate about it but his mic was distorted by loud music on his end. said he had to "bag" (grab?) some tea or something. then we lagged out. ok. getting sleepy. more tomorrow -- can't wait! sweet dreams!!

xoxo,
stiq

Tags: microsoft, time, top-10-microsoft-moments, xbox

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

giantenemycrab @ Nov 12th 2008 4:21PM

I liked the big controller... >_>

BxGT @ Nov 12th 2008 5:31PM

Yea idk why every hates it so much, it's my second favorite after the dreamcast controller.

nonpareil @ Nov 12th 2008 5:32PM

I never knew it was called "The Duke." That's hilarious.

kaneda @ Nov 12th 2008 5:57PM

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/03/25/

Jouten @ Nov 12th 2008 4:24PM

Xbox gave birth to the 'Tea Bag'

Zeus.:God @ Nov 12th 2008 5:11PM

Correction:

"Counter-Strike: Source gave birth to the 'Tea Bag'."

RonaldoMoon @ Nov 12th 2008 5:24PM

Double correction:

Dirty-minded husbands and boyfriends gave birth to the "tea bag" long before there were any video games, much less XBOX or CoD.

Best XBOX moment - getting in touch with old friends via live..and then having them kick my ass at Halo. My ejaculations have never been 'pre-mature' enough, I suspect. (its sure going to suck if no one gets that...)

Lars @ Nov 12th 2008 6:42PM

Love the EQ2 avatar! Unfortunately you're way off. Teabagging in video games was popular way before Xbox.

sinai @ Nov 12th 2008 8:52PM

triple correction, it was your parents. hilarity (and you) ensued.

Roto13 @ Nov 12th 2008 9:44PM

I'm pretty sure that's not the way babies are made.

um..wow @ Nov 12th 2008 4:24PM

"barely nudging out the disastrous Vista launch for the #8 spot."

Um, looking over the list it's pretty much in chronological order. just sayin'

Mr Khan @ Nov 12th 2008 4:25PM

I really think the Xbox is responsible for launching what we today know as "Hardcore gaming," the current demands for console features are all features Microsoft brought to the table.

If nothing else, they read the desires of the North American core gamer perfectly

Desi_D @ Nov 12th 2008 4:33PM

And then they dumped the hard drive. And yes, MS may have invented "hardcore gaming". But it wasn't on Xbox, it was when it brought gaming to the masses via Windows with help from id Software.

NoHitHair @ Nov 12th 2008 5:38PM

Clearly neither of you are old enough to understand where "hardcore gaming" began. It certainly didn't start with Microsoft.

Mr Khan @ Nov 12th 2008 5:48PM

Hardcore gaming as we know it today certainly did. But hardcore is a silly buzzword and its semantics could be debated endlessly

Shmil @ Nov 12th 2008 4:25PM

my best xbox moment: cracking open my 360 to fix it my goddamned self, replaced the thermal paste but didn't put the one of heatsinks back on securely enough, now it works, it just wont transmit any video, just audio. But it still runs games, you just can't see them.

mikey @ Nov 12th 2008 5:04PM

and your a douche

Shmil @ Nov 12th 2008 5:09PM

...sorry?

Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Nov 12th 2008 5:23PM

mikey - You'd know all about being a douche, wouldn't you?

Orionzdrm @ Nov 12th 2008 4:26PM

I liked the Duke. Prefer it now. Im 6ft 3 and like a controller made for a man not a boy.

Diskoboy @ Nov 12th 2008 5:31PM

Agreed.

I'm 6ft 2, with ginormous hands. I had been so used to the Dreamcasts mammoth controllers, "The Duke" just seemed to fit like a glove. But Duke had one advantage the DC controller's didn't - their weight. After installing a VMU and a jump pack, playing your DC was like getting a upper-body workout, they were so damn heavy.

I still have my Duke controller, and use it far more than my Controller-S (When I play my original Xbox, that is).

Linkario @ Nov 12th 2008 5:39PM

In internet talk that means you are actually 5'2" and just hitting puberty. Just saying...

el serpiente @ Nov 12th 2008 9:45PM

I'm sorry you're not allowed on the roller coaster, linkario. Don't worry, you might still have a growth spurt in you.

deaftly @ Nov 12th 2008 4:27PM

Playing Crimson Skies and Jet Set Radio Future and being happy as punch (tropical) that I just traded in my ps2. It was starting to die anyway.

Sackolantern PSN ID: johnnynumber5 @ Nov 12th 2008 7:06PM

Crimson Skies - FTW

Erock76 @ Nov 12th 2008 4:30PM

Watching it fall 3 feet from a moving truck onto solid concrete....dusting it off, checking out the cracked case and thinking, "this thing is f***ed", and then hooking it up and playing Battlefront 2 for 6 hours straight! Thing was a monster! I swear a mouse farts and my 360 gets the RROD!!!!

Erluti @ Nov 12th 2008 4:33PM

Ironically, my dreamcast died in the first week I had it. My Xbox died in the first week I had it and I had to send it back to microsoft 5 times, and it never worked completely right.

But my 360? Haven't had a problem with it ever.

koehler83 @ Nov 12th 2008 4:31PM

What's an XOBX?

thatisandwas @ Nov 12th 2008 6:42PM

dude...the controller is facing the kid...durrrr

Nigeria @ Nov 12th 2008 4:32PM

Panzer Dragoon, JSR, and Outrun 2; a constant rotation of the three. Also, being called a chink for choosing South Korea in online PES04 was an eye opener.

Xbox was an alright console, especially the Sega games, a bit shooter heavy though.

Mr Khan @ Nov 12th 2008 4:34PM

Considering how chummy they were in the Dreamcast dies, i'm surprised SEGA didn't do more for them. Though as a GameCube-exclusive owner, i'm glad they didn't

Nigeria @ Nov 12th 2008 4:43PM

Yeah, I basically brought the Xbox as a placeholder for Sega's glorious return. The Wii was also a placeholder; still hoping. It was only when Nights bombed I finally realised the old Sega wouldn't cope in this environment.

Mr Khan @ Nov 12th 2008 4:47PM

Whoa

"Dreamcast dies" should be "Dreamcast days"

talk about your freudian slip

Dirty @ Nov 12th 2008 4:32PM

Kotor, and hauling my beast old tv to a friends house to play teh haloz LAN style.

The best part about the Duke is that it doubled as a weapon to use against screen watching bitches.

Badboy1979 @ Nov 12th 2008 4:44PM

3 system / 12 player LAN Halo matches were some of my favorite memories

... along with dealing with the INSANE difficultly of Ninja Gaiden!

343 Guilty Fart @ Nov 12th 2008 5:14PM

Halo LAN parties were indeed the best of times.

"You mean I can plug this thing into another Xbox like I can with my PC??"

Graham Wellington (formerly tyrone washington, or marsha goldberg) @ Nov 12th 2008 6:30PM

yes this was awesome, dragging my 27" tube tv to play halo lan. could've brought a smaller tv but, no thanks. it was worth the hernia, loved halo lan.

aj @ Nov 12th 2008 4:38PM

Am I the only person who just didn't get Halo?

The huge controller was nice. I have giant hands, and was almost permanently disabled by the Dreamcast controller (thanks be to MadCatz for making super huge controllers for every system ever).

Linkario @ Nov 12th 2008 5:51PM

You are not alone. Not only do I "not get Halo" but I just think it sucks. With each new Halo release I decide to give it a rent, and every time I am disappointed.

...and no I'm not a sony fan boy looking for a cheap shot. I own all 3 consoles and the 360 is by far my favorite.

H Choi @ Nov 12th 2008 4:41PM

Big controller ftw!

j.howlett @ Nov 12th 2008 4:46PM

i can get past the size an offset analog sticks, but the hard buttons suck for long play sessions

Zertoss @ Nov 12th 2008 5:02PM

I remember my first time with the Xbox. It was a warm (to put it mildly) summer evening, and I was down at Target shopping for video games.

There was a green flicker on the periphery of my vision. When I turned to see what it was, I was met with her. A PC trying to pass itself off as a console. I scoffed at it.

But being the Mechwarrior fan I am, I couldn't resist the Siren call of Mechassault. I wrapped my hands around and embraced the controller. My mind tried to pull them away in disgust, but my heart longed for nuclear carnage.

And so I began to play. I explored the entirety of the Mechassault demo that night, poking in anywhere I would fit.

"My Mechwarrior!" I cried. "What have they done to you?!" I stumbled away in shock, trying to collect my wits, trying to pull myself together. Then I realized the pain wasn't in my heart. "OH GOD! MY HANDS!" I screamed.

Xbox and I just weren't meant to be.

steve @ Nov 12th 2008 5:06PM

no matter how hard you try...joystiq will not hire you

343 Guilty Fart @ Nov 12th 2008 5:12PM

I enjoyed it, but I wish it had a happier ending.

Shmil @ Nov 12th 2008 5:17PM

Hey steve, omar, mikey, whatever your name is this minute. STFU

Heh (Mr. ESC, living in the hearts of us all) @ Nov 12th 2008 5:20PM

creative/10

Zertoss @ Nov 12th 2008 5:24PM

This post sure does seem to be attracting the trolling threadshitters. They must've just gotten out of school for the day down at the local junior high and because they have no friends, they ran straight home and got on Joystiq so they can circle jerk to their own retarded comments.

Actually, that's pretty insulting. Mentally handicapped kids would post much more intelligent comments.

Zertoss @ Nov 12th 2008 5:25PM

Oh, and just to clarify, by "this post" I was referring to Joystiq's article, not my original comment.

Sora @ Nov 12th 2008 5:27PM

Hey, Omar, if you're going to troll, at least be fucking honorable and do it under your ACTUAL NAME. Or, if you're too much of a pussy, at least be smart enough to change the e-mail address so your fake nick's profile doesn't link to your actual one.

Also, in response to your comment under "mikey" way above: YOU'RE the douche.