Jack Thompson, we hardly knew ye. Actually, we knew far too much of ye. I won't spend much time kicking a man while he's down, but it would be a glaring omission to ignore him since he represents the archetype anti-gamer. A former attorney, Thompson has a history of waging jihad via ridiculous legal action on all people and things that he interprets as unholy. In 1993, after being fantastically zing'd by Janet Reno, Thompson filed a police report complaining of battery because she put her hand on his shoulder. Turns out he was pissed at her for not hiring him as an assistant State's Attorney. Picking quotes of his and tearing them apart is somehow easier than shooting fish in a barrel, but here's a small sample for the three of you out there who are unfamiliar with the man: "In every school shooting, we find that kids who pull the trigger are video gamers." Never mind that all school shooters fall into a youth demographic which shares many hobbies, such as movies, music, and breathing. Aah, why am I even bothering ... attacking him is a bit old hat, as the Penny-Arcade folks virtually removed all of his credibility two years ago (see: "A Modest Video Game Proposal").
Rest assured that Thompson is not alone. As James Bond once told Auric Goldfinger, "You're forgetting one thing. If I fail to report, 008 replaces me." And trust us: there's always another dying to cash in on this market. While many have described Thompson as a simple religious zealot, there's a higher power being worshipped here: the dollar almighty. Thompson literally made a career out of slandering our pastime, and has a history of demanding exorbitant amounts of money in frivolous lawsuits. After challenging pro-gamer Jason Della Rocca to a series of debates, Thompson claimed the two could reap more than $3,000 per event. Della Rocca responded by suggesting they do it for free. Being a man who cares much more about his morals than money, Thompson then ... refused to participate. These individuals get large amounts of money for lectures and presentations, so you can bet that they aren't about to host or even consider an alternative viewpoint if it means potentially invalidating their livelihood. What's worse is that the media often treats these people as legitimate and fair interpreters of gaming violence. Which leads me to ...
