Peter Moore: 'WTF? WHERE THE HELL IS FIFA 09' and other ruminations on Eurogamer's Top 50
Peter Man Tell 'Em has kicked off '09 with a wildly entertaining review of Eurogamer's "Top 50 Games of 2008," headlining with the question on all of our minds: Where The FIFA? From the outset, Peter Moore's rant makes it clear that his is a man's world, summoning well wishes for his distinctly heterosexual males club -- also known as EA Sports Nation: "I hope you all have had a restful few days and have been able to get your sports fix in front of the TV without your wife/girlfriend/mom/mum giving you a bad time ... "
In Peter Man's real talk, there is no place for the seemingly sissy; games like Bangai-O Spirits or World of Goo. And Tomb Raider in the Top 50? No thanks. Who wants to play as ... a girl? (Note: Please excuse Boom Blox and Mirror's Edge's apparent lack of manliness -- trust Moore, it's in the game.) But, beneath the posturing exterior, Peter Man drops hints of latent insecurity. Though Moore has membership in an elite fraternity of buff game execs (true story: the presidency was decided by an arm wrestling match between Moore and Strauss -- guess who won?), he is just as susceptible as the rest of us are to body image issues perpetuated by games. How could Peter Man not be threatened by the sheer power of the Bangai-O bots? Or the Goo's killer combo of unrivaled flexibility and unnerving strength? Or Ms. Lara's emasculating sexuality?
The real tell, though, is this: "I was surprised to see Wii Fit included [at #25], which I thought would make the top 10," writes Moore. Clearly, this is a man obsessed with mastering the physical potentials of the body. A perfect fit for EA Sports, then. And a great businessman to boot. While the media continues the "Wii dissing," Peter Man is heaping on the Nintendo praise. After all, a man's world is measured by units. And no one put more units in gamers' hands -- heck! under their feet, too -- than Nintendo did last year.
In Peter Man's real talk, there is no place for the seemingly sissy; games like Bangai-O Spirits or World of Goo. And Tomb Raider in the Top 50? No thanks. Who wants to play as ... a girl? (Note: Please excuse Boom Blox and Mirror's Edge's apparent lack of manliness -- trust Moore, it's in the game.) But, beneath the posturing exterior, Peter Man drops hints of latent insecurity. Though Moore has membership in an elite fraternity of buff game execs (true story: the presidency was decided by an arm wrestling match between Moore and Strauss -- guess who won?), he is just as susceptible as the rest of us are to body image issues perpetuated by games. How could Peter Man not be threatened by the sheer power of the Bangai-O bots? Or the Goo's killer combo of unrivaled flexibility and unnerving strength? Or Ms. Lara's emasculating sexuality?
The real tell, though, is this: "I was surprised to see Wii Fit included [at #25], which I thought would make the top 10," writes Moore. Clearly, this is a man obsessed with mastering the physical potentials of the body. A perfect fit for EA Sports, then. And a great businessman to boot. While the media continues the "Wii dissing," Peter Man is heaping on the Nintendo praise. After all, a man's world is measured by units. And no one put more units in gamers' hands -- heck! under their feet, too -- than Nintendo did last year.






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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 2nd 2009 11:59AM
Scrolling up you think: "hey, not bad"
Then you get to the face and your eyes...
.... they bleeeeeeed....
Zertoss @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:32PM
I'm hoping this becomes a new trend.
Haggard @ Jan 2nd 2009 5:01PM
How did you manage to scroll to this picture from below?
Moorio - XBL: peacebyanymeans @ Jan 2nd 2009 6:11PM
The face is the best part. You should check out his guns.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 2nd 2009 7:21PM
@ Haggard: Magic
@ Moorio: don't you mean YOUR guns?
JAY JAY @ Jan 2nd 2009 9:19PM
I'd rather have a fat chick rather than to be with a Peter Moore headed one...
Ath @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:05PM
Still, the man has a point. It's EUROgamer right? FIFA was easily in the top 5 biggest games of the year our side of the pond. And it was definitely an improvement in the series.
I realize you Americans couldn't care less about FIFA, but I think he's right...
Markez (Anti-Panda Death Murder Squadron) @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:45PM
Eh, it's just most of us that couldn't care less. I didn't get into soccer until I studied over there years ago and got a taste of the fervor firsthand...
Mr Khan @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:35PM
I had to read this article twice because i couldn't figure out it was a media outlet ranking games based on preference, not a statistical representation of sales. It was quite confusing, because it would've ranked FIFA 09 much higher if it was about sales
As for Wii Fit, it's kinda hard not to acknowledge the best selling game of 2008, no matter how much you might not want to
Dirty @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:49PM
I find it pretty easy actually. =p
ice~ @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:37PM
It looks like he is painfully trying to shove his foot up his ass
Sora @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:42PM
Well I can't imagine doing it painlessly...
mr nimblewick @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:43PM
I read through the post and have no idea what it is talking about.
Mr Khan @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:30PM
Good to know i wasn't the only one
Haggard @ Jan 2nd 2009 5:10PM
Nah it made perfect sense to me.
Moore says wah-wah that his sports game wasn't recognised for the true genius that is present in the hundredth computer game based on a centuries-old sport.
What do these game journalists want, originality or something?
mr nimblewick @ Jan 2nd 2009 6:54PM
I should have gotten that from great phrases like "In Peter Man's real talk, there is no place for the seemingly sissy"?
Jonathan-DBOSS @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:59PM
Hey, if I have to decide between sweaty men kicking a ball, and a mid 20s female tomb raider packing two "very heavy artillery" and guns... then go Lara!
GiggMan @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:01PM
Damn that looks like it hurts, I don't know about Wii Fit anymore.
Dav @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:06PM
Some of the games belonged on the list..but the order was pretty bad imo...
Strangely enough, I don't remember seeing Rock Band 2 on that list...but Guitar Hero was..I guess it's a matter of taste.
Besides the racing games, I was surprised I didn't see NHL or another genre of sports gaming on there.
Where was Fallout 3? What about LBP (hate it/love it..I know)
mr mobius @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:48PM
RB2 : no 12 on the list.
Dav @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:53PM
Ehh my mistake >_>
Thanks for correction..
bad memory kicking in -.-
Rhinosaur @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:10PM
His crying for FIFA on some Top Games of '08 lists is like me crying for NHL '09s absence from any lists on this side of the pond.
Granted, NHL has a small fanbase compared to football over here and football over there, but just because it didn't sell like hotcakes or have a "greatest game ever" marketing campaign (Spore, I'm looking in your direction) doesn't mean it is unworthy.
It's online team play, instant replay editing, control scheme and gameplay make it one of the best sports games I've ever played.
Marko @ Jan 2nd 2009 5:26PM
Actually NHL 09 is getting the credit it deserves - nearly every major site/program except for X-Play gave it Sports game of the year. It's not being ignored.
j.howlett @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:12PM
one part of this made me think, where are all the female organised sports games?
justinslot @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:06PM
Where are all the female organized sports? I think that might be your answer. I mean the women's World Cup--which might be the biggest non-Olympics women's competition globally--is probably most popular in America and we're hardly a soccer country, so I can't see developers working hard to make a game out of that. And aside from that what do you have? The WNBA? That's hardly a valuable license. The best hope for women's sports games is probably individual sports like tennis or golf. Or figure skating, I'm convinced there's major potential in a properly licensed (with actual skaters) season-long Grand Prix game.
j.howlett @ Jan 2nd 2009 8:38PM
i think there could be a benefit to all involved if they put out wnba game or women soccer game. it could work out like the spanish language madden, but realistically i just would like to see an option to switch on the same disc. if the burger king can get a game made i'd like to see an attempt
MowDownJoe @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:00PM
STOP MAKING SUCH DISTURBING PHOTOSHOPS! First Miyamoto, now Moore...
Zertoss @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:09PM
No, we need more! MOAR!
Yamikotai @ Jan 3rd 2009 9:31AM
No, we need moore! MOORE!
Superstar90 @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:25PM
Peter Moore, I suggest you play Bangai-O Spirits. It's the manliest man-game ever.
A GIANT ROBOT BLOWING UP GIANT NINJA ROBOTS (AND ANTS) WITH HUNDREDS OF ROCKETS!!!!
knighty (GT: ZeraKnight) @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:30PM
May I introduce you to Earth Defence Force?
PojoMofo @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:29PM
"no one put more units in gamers' hands...than Nintendo"
Im glad im not one of those gamers, I prefer not to fondel the genatalia of rich middle-aged Japenese men...
AndreasD @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:39PM
I dislike Moore as much as the next living being, but I got to agree with him. FIFA 09 (And NHL 09 for that matter) was easily two of the best sports games this year (and a few past ones).
Not about the games though, I'd rather remove some other ones (Mercenaries 2 and Siren: Blood Curse on the first page)..
LaughingTarget @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:39PM
My interpretation:
Moore does exactly what every other fanboy in the existence of the Internet does: he reads every Top X Games of the Year list and bitches because the game he thinks is the best isn't on the list or in the top 10, let alone not being number 1. How dare Eurogamer have an opinion!
resistance @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:50PM
I agree with Peter, Why wasn't Fifa on that list, and also where was Tiger Woods as well. Those were 2 of the best games this year and would feature in my top 10 no doubt.
Freeze @ Jan 2nd 2009 3:15PM
Well Eurogamer must've changed whatever spot was sitting at #11 because FIFA 09 is in that spot now.
Papytendo @ Jan 2nd 2009 3:27PM
What's up with the eye-bleeding pictures lately?
mrfong @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:07PM
This might be the most well written and entertaining article on joystiq I have ever read :)
Markusdragon @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:29PM
You have to remember that GOTY lists are entirely subjective to whoever writes them, and Eurogamer tends to favour artsy, quirky, charming, funny and epic games over dependable industry stalwarts, hence why the quirky, charming, artsy and funny LittleBigPlanet won, and EA sports didn't quite get a look in.
That's also why World of Goo is in the top 10, not that it didn't deserve it; it's a really fun game.
R.Rexneter @ Jan 4th 2009 5:24AM
He is absolutely right, the Eurogamer Top 50 is an epic fail, just have a look at it and you will see what I mean.
Marko @ Jan 2nd 2009 5:30PM
I might not be living in Europe, but Eurogamer's list had two key flaws to it. MGS only at #30 and Chrono Trigger at 27. For MGS, I know they gave it a hard time back in June when it came out, but it is surely a much better title than where it landed.
The other issue with Chrono Trigger is not the ranking but the fact that they gave it a 2008 Top 50 'Award' yet it doesn't reach stores in Europe until Feb 2009. Doesn't make sense, that's like if a North American site game LocoRoco2 an award when it was never released in that Market yet.
Bowser Rogozhin @ Jan 3rd 2009 6:52AM
Bangai burn.