Microsoft won't use PlayStation Home, will keep meetings boring
Despite taking part in a cost-saving virtual conferencing initiative, Microsoft has told CVG that it will not be using PlayStation Home to facilitate cheaper, virtual meetings. The company insisted that it had access to everything -- including Live Meeting and Xbox Live's party system -- needed to "host a virtual meeting in-house" ... and not in Home.
It's probably best not to indirectly endorse your competitor's efforts, but just think of how excruciatingly boring meetings will be without Sony's eccentric virtual haven:
"And that's why, by altering our predicted life-to-date replacement ratio matrix, our profits will positively sway our exponential yield curve. Joan, do you understand?"
"Mark, I've got some curves for you right here. They're swaying."
"And so ... spontaneously at that. Why do I have the sudden urge to start gyrating in rhythm to non-existent music?"
"Come on, do the robot with me!"
"Oh yeah, doin' the robot! Damn, Joan, how big are your measurements, 'cos they do not compute."
"Ugh ... why do men become cretins in Home? Also, it's not Joan. It's Joe."
"As in Joe-Ann or OH CRAP YOU'VE SUDDENLY BECOME A HIDEOUS AND UNDESIRABLE MAN!"
It's probably best not to indirectly endorse your competitor's efforts, but just think of how excruciatingly boring meetings will be without Sony's eccentric virtual haven:
"And that's why, by altering our predicted life-to-date replacement ratio matrix, our profits will positively sway our exponential yield curve. Joan, do you understand?"
"Mark, I've got some curves for you right here. They're swaying."
"And so ... spontaneously at that. Why do I have the sudden urge to start gyrating in rhythm to non-existent music?"
"Come on, do the robot with me!"
"Oh yeah, doin' the robot! Damn, Joan, how big are your measurements, 'cos they do not compute."
"Ugh ... why do men become cretins in Home? Also, it's not Joan. It's Joe."
"As in Joe-Ann or OH CRAP YOU'VE SUDDENLY BECOME A HIDEOUS AND UNDESIRABLE MAN!"












Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Alien Lord @ Jan 6th 2009 2:33PM
Not really surprising, home probably wouldn't make a very secure meeting room, especially with Sony listening in.
Lars @ Jan 6th 2009 5:59PM
Well, I dunno about that, but it does seem pretty silly... considering you could just use Skype. Even if you only had a PS3, you could still use Skype.
J @ Jan 6th 2009 10:08PM
i hate you, but that was funny.
Xoonaka @ Jan 6th 2009 2:34PM
What is Joystiq's obsession with that? I don't get it, it isn't even that funny.
Personally, I'd like to see more activities with tons of free stuff. Ice Breakers and Echochrome are great examples, but I'd like some free furniture too. Hopefully more 3rd parties will get on board like FarCry...
I think everyone will be willing to spend more time and money in Home once it becomes easier to "establish" yourself for free. I have no attachment to my bland room, and therefore have no desire to spend money to make it better.
Booxatron @ Jan 6th 2009 3:59PM
First, it was one of the writers here (Griffin McElroy) that invented it, and second, the humor lies not so much in the switch itself, but in the pervs reactions to it. Try it yourself for all sorts of hilarious justice. :)
David @ Jan 6th 2009 5:01PM
Home needs to work on quality before quantity. Ice Breaker and Echochrome are absolutely horrible flash games. Ice Breaker in particular is a pathetic, featureless, uninteresting, lazy brick breaker. Echochrome didn't figure you'd need to remove a hole or fan even though you'd need to travel over the same small stage several times with different goal and enemy locations. I could find ten games far more entertaining in a minute.
ScottG13 @ Jan 6th 2009 2:48PM
You don't want Steve Balmer Quincying you. You just don't...
copa @ Jan 6th 2009 2:58PM
I do. He would probably transform into a beautiful red-headed woman.
ScottG13 @ Jan 6th 2009 3:02PM
Photoshop challenge issued by COPA!
Marty @ Jan 6th 2009 2:52PM
According to the EULA for Home, Sony would have all the rights to everything said in the meeting anyway, so it'd be a completely bad idea from the start.
But I can't even see Sony execs using Home for a meeting, so why anyone would believe people from a competing company would is beyond me.
Are we confusing fanboy fiction for "reports" now?
Little Big PSN ID: johnnynumber5 @ Jan 6th 2009 3:15PM
I wouldn't call it fiction as it was confirmed that Ernst & Young would be the first to offer these meetings with Microsoft being one of many companies to go along with it. It was obviously fairly credible or we wouldn't have Microsoft coming out and going out of it's way to say
"including Live Meeting and Xbox Live's party system -- needed to "host a virtual meeting in-house"
http://www.gaapweb.com/news/1327-Ernst-Young-to-use-PS3-for-virtual-meetings.html
The purpose of using Home in the first place is that there is not cost associated with the service beyond buying the hardware. It's pretty plausible that companies would see viability in Home as a virtual meeting platform.
As far as the EULA goes ... who reads that anyway? ... it's not as if Sony could easily identify who the people having the meeting were. I think this denial from MS just adds more credence to the story that they had intended to do it in the first place. Otherwise there would be no need to even mention and simply give the obligatory "we don't comment on rumor and speculation".
I wouldn't expect you to say anything bad about your employer though. Right down the line like a good company man should be. ;)
Master Bruce @ Jan 6th 2009 4:19PM
It is fiction brought about by misreading the article. E&Y on Home is part of a project to utilize virtual spaces for meetings. Microsoft is also taking part in the project, not in using Home.
It's somewhat silly to think that they would need to use Home.
Marty @ Jan 6th 2009 4:49PM
"As far as the EULA goes ... who reads that anyway? ... it's not as if Sony could easily identify who the people having the meeting were."
You're a complete idiot if you think they don't keep records of who accesses what on their network, and if you think that an IP address is a good thing to hide behind for anonymous activity.
Aside from that, "who reads that anyway?" is about the dumbest defense of an overzealous EULA I've never heard. If you think "I didn't read it" is an excuse to break the rules, you're sorely mistaken.
And finally, no, I do not work for Microsoft. I think it'd be a cool job, but in this job market, I'm much happier (and safer) at my current position outside of the games / software industry. Besides, I'm an artist, so I doubt they'd have too much use for me anyway.
Little Big PSN ID: johnnynumber5 @ Jan 6th 2009 7:12PM
That's about the response I expected from an employee. Good show and you didn't disappoint.
MJ @ Jan 6th 2009 3:05PM
Ever think about Second Life for meetings? It's a great medium if you have a private region.
Nick @ Jan 6th 2009 3:38PM
The guys at Linden Lab, who make second life, use it to conduct their meetings.
MJ @ Jan 6th 2009 3:41PM
I heard IBM uses SL too.
C.A. @ Jan 6th 2009 4:12PM
There is a joke about "private regions" somewhere in there, I just can't quite grab it, heh heh heh...
*=Lord Negatron of the XBots=* @ Jan 6th 2009 3:11PM
Ah do the Quincy!
*begins to dance/gyrate*
Jakka ( The Order of Haters of Balance) @ Jan 6th 2009 3:24PM
Or they could use the conference call feature...something that comes with their own fucking Windows Live Messenger!
danhawk911 @ Jan 6th 2009 3:38PM
who actually uses windows live messenger though. i wonder if the employees at Microsoft even use it.
R @ Jan 6th 2009 4:24PM
I use MSN. So do most of my friends. considering you need an msn/hotmail account to have XBL, its just easier to simply use that as your main email and msger service at once.
Is it what MS wants? Yes. Do I care? No.
Alex @ Jan 6th 2009 4:47PM
Hotmail is a hideous client, too.
Sora @ Jan 6th 2009 7:15PM
Everyone who's NOT in America (and thus doesn't give two shits about AIM) uses Windows Live Messenger.
R @ Jan 6th 2009 9:57PM
Once I would have agreed with you Alex, but the recent updates to Hotmail have been great. Its a great email client now, imho.
Flame @ Jan 6th 2009 3:47PM
Why not just use the XBL party system. I mean, its your own party system... or maybe a chat room? I can't see MS using the competitions service when its not even nessesary. That would just be promoting Home.
Hala Madrid!! (Somebody get me a tie! And it sure as hell better be red!) @ Jan 6th 2009 4:22PM
LOL @ people that are using HOME for meetings, everybody knows that HOME is only used for Quincying other people.
Alex @ Jan 6th 2009 4:46PM
I'd love to see the Steve Ballmer Avatar... Mii... thing...
What are they called?
Kye says: The cake is a lie! @ Jan 6th 2009 5:06PM
I would love to see Sony create an operating system with the sole aim of crushing Windows.
That would be awesome.
There'd be fanboy riots of biblical proportions.
That would be soo awesome.
BadassSailor @ Jan 7th 2009 3:25AM
Except that it would be delayed by years, and when finally released would be met with a resounding "MEH"
BadassSailor @ Jan 7th 2009 3:22AM
I would submit the opinion that having meetings, or doing anything in Home for that matter, is boring.
BadassSailor @ Jan 7th 2009 3:23AM
Except that it would be delayed by years, and when finally released would be met with a resounding "MEH"