Seen @ CES 2009: Urinal advertising reaches a new low
by Justin McElroy 
{ Jan 9th 2009 at 4:15AM }
"Your keyboard has 400 times the bacteria than this urinal!!!"
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You advertise on urinal pads and you use improper grammar? We've only got one question, Seal Shield. How much can we legally invest in your company?
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 4:51AM
I'm sold.
Who do I make the check out to?
Foetoid @ Jan 9th 2009 7:49AM
Spelling FTW!
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:03AM
Lol! Damn it, I only just noticed that!!
Thanks for letting me know gently, unlike other grammer Nazis!
*Note to self*: try to use the 'exclamation mark' key a little less!
Rocketboy @ Jan 9th 2009 9:16AM
Forget that, I'm going to just steal the urinal mats, and place them over my keyboard. Free clean keyboard FTW.
Josh @ Jan 9th 2009 11:38AM
Wait, what? Did I miss something? I see no spelling errors.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 12:01PM
Read between the lines Josh. Seek the truth from within yourself* and you shall find it.
In all seriousness though, there iw just empty space between the lines; I used 'check' as opposed to 'cheque'.
* Not too deep mind.. don't know what you'll find, though most likely you will end up in your intestines at whichever entrance you end up using...
Levi @ Jan 9th 2009 1:15PM
Ok, I still don't see what is wrong with the mat, which bothers me because I have a degree in English. Is it the triple exclamation point? If so, that's a job for the Punctuation Police than Grammar Nazis.
I'm not surprised that I can't see the problem with the mat. I stopped playing Braid because I can't seem to figure out some of the puzzles :(
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 1:34PM
For Levi (and others that cannot see the 'mistake').
Scroll down the comment section and you shall seek the answers that you so desperately crave buried within the banter of our fellow peers. You may then devour the knowledge to your hearts content and after fully realising the situation, you may feel free to pop back up this end of the comment section and express your new found understanding with the rest of us.
AKA I could just tell you but this is more fun :)
Levi @ Jan 9th 2009 2:37PM
Dedezade, reading that comment gave me the exact feeling I had while I played Braid...The butt of a joke.
Oh wait, I forgot. We're talking about urinals here.
Abdo @ Jan 9th 2009 4:52AM
Wow.
Chin-Poh @ Jan 9th 2009 4:55AM
Well maybe its an extremely clean urinal. :/
Kamizar @ Jan 9th 2009 5:00AM
Toilets are generally sterile, urine is sterile, the dirtiest place in any house is generally the kitchen sink.
Imadogg @ Jan 9th 2009 5:14AM
Haha in 7th grade we had to collect bacteria from a surface of our choice and place it on a petri dish. Some groups chose the toilets and barely any bacteria grew at all. My group chose the lunch tables and it grew the most bacteria in the whole class.
Hope you enjoyed my story.
This urinal ad made me lol.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 5:25AM
I found your story to be not ony enjoyable but also simultaneously most agreeable.
Chin-Poh @ Jan 9th 2009 6:14AM
I remember hearing from my teacher in 7th grade our urine is cleaner than our saliva. :0
borland502 (SDF Macross) @ Jan 9th 2009 7:27AM
"I remember hearing from my teacher in 7th grade our urine is cleaner than our saliva. :0"
Not only that, but it acts as a disinfectant. It's how I save on medical costs!
...
Wait, where are y'all going?
Quattro @ Jan 9th 2009 7:32AM
I think I heard in my History class that back in Roman times people would urinate in buckets of laundry or what not because the properties of urine helped clean it.
Kamizar @ Jan 9th 2009 7:35AM
So, whose first for the golden shower just waiting to happen?
Justin?
danny. @ Jan 9th 2009 10:27AM
It's not the bacteria preventing me from eating my lunch out of a urinal.
ChooChooCharlie @ Jan 9th 2009 11:22AM
We had a really disgusting Health teacher back in High School that, for some reason, decided to tell her class that she would rather screw her doorknob than sleep with her husband.
Well, this story became a legend, and several years later, when my brother went through the same high school, his Bio class had to do a similar bacteria-swab experiment and a bunch of the kids interrupted her class to swab her knob. Gross.
Also, @ Quattro:
That's true. It serves as a kind of natural bleach.
Ethan @ Jan 9th 2009 5:03AM
Well then my piss must be magic then.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 5:26AM
Chuck Norris can weld titanium with his stream of urine.... which is incidentally also the main ingredient for Red Bull*
FACT.
* after being diluted 1:10^10 times.
F TANK @ Jan 9th 2009 5:36AM
Does that kind of advertising really work? Personally speaking I never look down at a urinal for 4 reasons:
1- I've seen piss going into drains many times already and frankly, it's old.
2- There can be some gross shit at the bottom
3- I don't own the urinal, which means it's not in my house, therefore I don't care if I'm missing or spraying all over it.
-when you're eyes start drifting around down there, there's always a chance of a cross-wang glimpse and I don't need that kind of stuff on my mind.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 6:03AM
You make good points. However I always look down at the urinal. My reasons for this are two-fold:
1.) Ensure that there are no splashback/spray malfunctions. Keeping a check on the correct angle and velocity visually ensures an efficient stream with minimal sprayback.
2.) I believe looking directly down REDUCES cross wang glimpses, something I'm sure that most of us prefer to avoid.
Reader @ Jan 9th 2009 6:18AM
I always think it's funny when someone is so far forward they are practically in the urinal. I've been tempted to say "It's okay, I promise not to look."
Quattro @ Jan 9th 2009 7:34AM
If I was in a washroom and saw some guy pissing all over the urinal because it wasn't in his house and he didn't care, I'd probably think it was mighty weird.
Ghen @ Jan 9th 2009 8:04AM
I enjoyed the phrase cross wang glimpses.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:07AM
A little TOO much perhaps Ghen? 0_o
For fucks sake I really need to do some work... I've just realised how many posts I've written regarding poorly spelled urinal advertising displays...
*=Lord Negatron of the XBots=* @ Jan 9th 2009 8:39AM
You sound like a man that has a "wide stance".
LOL
:P
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:42AM
You know what would be funnier? Reading my comment again then finding out I'm a woman ;)
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:43AM
PS. I'm not.
WorMzy @ Jan 9th 2009 8:46AM
Don't be silly, everyone knows women don't exist on the internet.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:47AM
Holy crap I've just looked at how many comments I've actually made...
Joystiq Overlords, if you're reading this can you hire me already? I could be your chief sanitation/waste editor.
In all seriousness however I would truly love to work here :)
Audioslavery @ Jan 9th 2009 6:54AM
I thought this was a Pepsi ad at first.
Anyone else?
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 6:56AM
Now that you mention it... yes.
Matt M @ Jan 9th 2009 10:02AM
That's why I piss on my keyboard after every use.
ganrob @ Jan 9th 2009 7:51AM
a new wii remote and a urinal. CES doesn't seem really that exciting to me.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:04AM
What about the Palm Pre!!!!
Check Engadget ;)
SoCoolCurt (PSN: KillaKornbread - XBL: SoCoolCurt) @ Jan 9th 2009 8:29AM
yea it's not really a gamer-centric event. it's more about the regular gadgets (phones, cameras, laptops, etc.)
definitely check out that Palm Pre on Engadget though. i've been watching it all day. certainly a device for the ages if your into smartphones, that is.
zombienutz @ Jan 9th 2009 8:07AM
The real problem here is people using their keyboard 400 more times more then the bathroom when they have to go...
bizzeh @ Jan 9th 2009 8:16AM
who was the brave one who was taking pictures aiming down like that in the mens toilets?
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 8:19AM
Brave?...or indulgent?
hmmmmm.......... 0_o
LegendaryRedass @ Jan 9th 2009 9:53AM
I look down as to better smell those pink urinal cakes. Ahhh, refreshing!
t_m @ Jan 9th 2009 8:52AM
SO basically the toilet is the cleanest place in our house?
this month alone i've read that dish cloths/cutting boards/kitchen sinks/bath towels/keyboards/handbags have 1000s the times of bacteria of your toilet.
I've started doing my washing up in the toilet just to be safe..
danny. @ Jan 9th 2009 10:33AM
No, not clean, just low amounts of bacteria. It's like saying a dog's mouth is clean. Or saying that fertilizer is clean. It's the fact that it's dog slobber or poop that makes it dirty.
There's a great Andy Richter clip on this, but I couldn't find it on youtube :/
jaybcorreia @ Jan 9th 2009 11:50AM
I usually don't prefer urinals bcuz
1. cross-wang glimpse
2. some ppl make unruly noises when they pee and that scares me.
Draco @ Jan 9th 2009 12:24PM
@Esat Dedezade
Check can be used in the US so that's not a problem
Cheque is used in every other country, so I think you are fine either way on the INTERNET.
Esat Dedezade @ Jan 9th 2009 12:59PM
Yay!
Superstar90 @ Jan 9th 2009 12:55PM
You shouldn't take photos of other people's urinals!
Especially when they are using them!
Jonathan-DBOSS @ Jan 9th 2009 1:14PM
MEME Alert!