At the tender age of fourteen, our oafish hamfists could barely handle the simplest daily tasks: Shoe tying, pencil handling, typing and so on. Danny Johnson
, a 14-year-old with such outrageous manual dexterity that we're of the firm belief he's at least two-thirds robot, recently performed a task we thought unthinkable -- he broke 17-year-old Chris Chike's official record
on Guitar Hero III
's most difficult song, "Through the Fire and Flames", and he broke it by nearly 100,000 points. Robot.
Johnson, who's broken nearly 80 guitar peripherals over the past nine months in pursuit of the record, set a wide margin with strategic Star Power usage, elevating his score to 973,954 (topping Chike's 899,703) during a performance at a Best Buy event with Guinness officiaries in attendance. However, we've seen Chike garner even higher scores
without being witnessed by the aforementioned officiaries -- we think it's time for these two Jimmy Woods-esque
virtuosos to settle this in a no-holds-barred, winner-take-all guitar duel.