Square Enix behind Eidos takeover bid
by Ludwig Kietzmann 
{ Feb 12th 2009 at 6:47AM } 
I've finally learned the identity of the man I've come to describe as "my secret admirer," or "my irritating stalker" whenever he attempts to serenade me with one of those dreadful J-pop ditties. You know ... this revelation explains his questionable taste in high-pitched music, not to mention the fact that he wears a suit made entirely of Tetsuya Nomura belts. Oh, Mr. Square Enix, how long have you loitered outside my manor window, hoping to catch a glimpse of my recently sagging assets?
According to a letter sent to my lawyer type persons, Mr. Enix has offered to purchase Eidos (the company I helped build in the '90s) in an 84.3 million pound bid -- that's roughly
Speaking of which, Winston just told me there's an exotic and highly endangered marmoset running about the mansion courtyard. Better grab some explosives and blow its legs off before it gets away.
-- Lara
Get a WordPress.com Blog
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Samo @ Feb 12th 2009 7:01AM
Hate to be a grammer-phobic, but isn't it "manor" instead of "manner"?
Ludwig Kietzmann @ Feb 12th 2009 7:09AM
You should have seen when I had it as "manure."
Samo @ Feb 12th 2009 7:23AM
OMG! A reply from Ludwig!
... I'll never wash this comment again!
Also now, that you've chnaged it, it makes my original comment look silly :p
spydor @ Feb 12th 2009 7:31AM
um... no
a "Manor" is a large house. "How long have you loitered outside my manner window" makes no sense at all.
Ludwig Kietzmann @ Feb 12th 2009 7:29AM
That'll teach you to offer helpful corrections! ;)
Maverick Saturn @ Feb 12th 2009 7:36AM
Lol, why would you want to wash the comment, lmao
Samo @ Feb 12th 2009 7:40AM
@spydor, it WAS manner, it's now changed to manor, hence the post saying that my post is now looking silly
@ Maverick, because, y'know, comments can get a little dirty at times ;)
Rocketboy @ Feb 12th 2009 11:16AM
You should wash it, if anything to try to get the manewer stink out.
Duke @ Feb 12th 2009 11:33AM
Print the comment and place it in a jar with some formaldehyde and it will stay fresh forever!
Maverick Saturn @ Feb 12th 2009 7:15AM
Well look on the bright side, the next Tomb Raider can be turn based :D
Samo @ Feb 12th 2009 7:24AM
And every time you win a fight, the monster / bad guy will randomly drop some useless item and currency for you, despite having no pockets.
Maverick Saturn @ Feb 12th 2009 7:34AM
Yeah that way you can upgrade you pistols to thunder, fire or ice pistols, with thier second stage ending 'ra' and third stages ending with 'aga' or 'agra'.
Overall Lara will level up to become Larara, then Laraga! :D
Nguyen @ Feb 12th 2009 11:28AM
seriously, i would actually play a Tomb Raider RPG.
Duke @ Feb 12th 2009 11:35AM
Will she eventually level up to be called "Lyra" like a certain resident troll insisted she was always called? *sprinkles*
slycooper_rocker (The Agent of Orange) @ Feb 12th 2009 8:46PM
where is sprinkles? joystiq's been relatively calm for a while.
bigsofty @ Feb 12th 2009 7:30AM
God no, Eidos games with 80's manga graphics... yeuk!
Maverick Saturn @ Feb 12th 2009 7:35AM
Think about the cool flips she will learn how to do, you've seen cloud! :D
And think about the over the top CGI trailers :D
Ebichu @ Feb 12th 2009 7:39AM
"sagging assets"
hehe
Hashbrown Hunter @ Feb 12th 2009 7:39AM
This is a really interesting takeover bid. I'm guessing this is following suit to SE's attempts to diversify their product line.
At least it's better than half-assing a different product by themselves (see: The Last Remnant)
Mischa @ Feb 12th 2009 7:53AM
ha ha, this post made me giggle.
In my opinion, if there's anything square hasn't got quite right, it's action (with the exception of FFXII IMHO). This looks to be a great buy for squeenix, hopefully now they can get a solid action RPG title out there, if this goes through.
eNrique @ Feb 12th 2009 1:07PM
Kingndom Hearts, Crisis Core FF7, Dige of Cerberus say
Hola!
Mischa @ Feb 12th 2009 2:31PM
All of which are terrible games by the way. I know it's not a popular opinion to say kingdom hearts was a terrible game, but it was in my opinion.
eNrique @ Feb 12th 2009 5:20PM
Could you tell me why you think those games are terrible (especially Crisis Core)???
Mischa @ Feb 12th 2009 6:38PM
Okay Crisis Core wasn't terrible, but for Kingdom Hearts, the combat feels too loose and I just couldn't handle the constant camera baby sitting. I never played dirge of cerberus to be completely honest, but I've heard similar camera awfulness in that game too.
slycooper_rocker (The Agent of Orange) @ Feb 12th 2009 8:47PM
crisis core was amazing. the cinematics made my eyes burn from the beauty.
FrannieBaby @ Feb 12th 2009 8:13AM
Cheer up, this means endless remakes of old Tomb Raider games for the DS.
mat parker @ Feb 12th 2009 8:14AM
I haven't seen corporate judgement this bad since Shinra wasted all that money on the Junon canon.
Rudolphe @ Feb 12th 2009 8:26AM
Square Enix needs to worry about getting Final Fantasy out before 2012.
tyetheczar @ Feb 12th 2009 8:32AM
Ungrateful bitch! How DARE you diss the power of J-pop. HOW DARE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Twiggy Iggy @ Feb 12th 2009 8:45AM
Well, looks like we'll get a terrible, jpop, jrock, manga inspired Tomb Raider, and bishouhen Hitman now. End of the world. Worst waste of money ever.
AsherR @ Feb 12th 2009 12:13PM
Even though it would be completely asinine, I would totally love KH with JC Denton.
Comtar @ Feb 12th 2009 10:26AM
Looks like this means Lara Croft, Number 47 and JC Denton in Kingdom Hearts 3
Levi @ Feb 12th 2009 10:39AM
I think this is an interesting takeover proposition. I'd like to see it happen.
WiredKnight @ Feb 12th 2009 10:44AM
Market leading my ass. Maybe ten years ago.
Just goes to prove Square doesn't care about games anymore, just franchises. They're happy making the same games with the same characters over and over, but got tired of doing RPGs. Now that they're looking to expand, they have no idea how to make, say, an adventure/action game, so they try to buy out the owners of "the most successful" franchise.
Square Enix is going to become EA of the East.
slycooper_rocker (The Agent of Orange) @ Feb 12th 2009 8:48PM
turn-based dead space!!! you heard it here first!
Hero @ Feb 12th 2009 11:43AM
hilarious.
keegan @ Feb 12th 2009 11:52AM
A Squeenix-produced Tomb Raider? And I thought the series had hit rock bottom with AoD. I really hope they'll keep their middling with Eidos purely at an executive level.
P.S. - Where's my new Parasite Eve game?
kwizzeh @ Feb 12th 2009 12:27PM
3rd Birthday on PSP
keegan @ Feb 12th 2009 6:51PM
And it's a FPS now...
Squeenix is /dead to me. *sob*
AsherR @ Feb 12th 2009 12:11PM
Deus Ex Hearts
Enough said.
S.Azreal @ Feb 12th 2009 5:45PM
Well...hmm...oh boy.
S.Azreal @ Feb 12th 2009 5:53PM
Should also point out...Lara using Hi-Potions...Not gonna work...
overflow @ Feb 16th 2009 4:15AM
This post is hillarious!
:D
its strange that other companies diddnt try to buy it. Eidos holds on to a lot of good franchises.(in overall loved i guess)
Tomb Raider(never played a game)
Deus Ex
Thief
Carmageddon
Hitman
Commandos
even they run most of them to the ground.
They still have interesting characters and settings.
Which could obviously make more money than 120 bucks