April Fools: Behold! Diablo III's Archivist

by James Ransom-Wiley { Apr 1st 2009 at 5:05PM }

Forget the pen being mightier than the sword. A single "shush" uttered from the lips of the Archivist packs enough punch to burst the guts of Sanctuary's most disorderly beasts. The fourth of five Diablo III character classes was revealed today, in historic fashion. So saith the annals of Abd al-Hazir: "These brave souls wade into battle wielding tome and quill, armored not in ensorcelled plate or links of chain, but in the knowledge of generations past. These archivists fight not only for our future, but for our past as well."

The Archivist schools evil with such learned powers as the Lorenado and Quest Bolt, complimented by witty dialogue tree choices like "I've dropped knowledge" and "Test me and I will chronicle your pain." Man, somebody please point us to the library where this guy got his game!

[Thanks, Luis]

Tags: april-fools, april-fools-09, archivist, blizzard, diablo-3, diablo-iii

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Etcee @ Apr 1st 2009 5:16PM

The thing is, unlike the WoW Bard Class of years past, i think i would def. play as this class.

+1 for this guy

Marty @ Apr 1st 2009 5:23PM

I thought the Bard class was hilarious myself - Blizzard always does a good April Fool's gag.

Etcee @ Apr 1st 2009 5:28PM

Yeah, the bard was clever for sure, but it was clever in a way where you chuckled and shrugged it off. This guy, on the other hand, I actually wish i could play as.

Marty @ Apr 1st 2009 5:31PM

Yeah, I would at least try this.

I think the most convincing one they did thus far was when they announced the Wisp as the next playable race. That was both frightening and then funny.

Alex M @ Apr 1st 2009 5:37PM

Blizzard, if you're reading this, count me as another player that would love to play this class!

Ghen @ Apr 1st 2009 9:04PM

Did you notice how slow the Archivist moves and how he dies in 1 zombie hit every time?

Thats the tradeoff :D

Courtney @ Apr 2nd 2009 1:31AM

I'm down with playing as a badass librarian. Librarians rock!

Mister Bogus (Mr. ESC) @ Apr 1st 2009 5:16PM

That silence spell,now that's a spell.

Seriously have this as a hidden character Blizzard.I mean this would be totally badass.

Check the new WOW Dance battle system too.

Drew @ Apr 1st 2009 6:55PM

Watching the video on Blizzard, I thought "Finally, a spell where he doesn't end up dead. ...Oh."

AsherR @ Apr 1st 2009 5:19PM

This totally made my day. The other blizzard stuff was good, but this was just epicly awesome.

And the dialogue tree! "Have you seen my pants?" "I smell like bacon and summertime."

Blizzard keeps doing awesome April Fools' stuff. Hell one of my friends even fell for this and the Starcraft unit until he actually saw the dialogue tree screenshot. Although, he is a bit slow...

AsherR @ Apr 1st 2009 5:20PM

Also everyone should check out the WoW forums. Both the General forums and the RP forums.
E.P.I.C.

AsherR @ Apr 1st 2009 5:21PM

Yeah, no one plays TF2 or L4D on PC....

Sir Buzz Killington( The Artist formerly known as Jakka) @ Apr 1st 2009 5:29PM

70,000 players definitely don't play CSS each day.

Marty @ Apr 1st 2009 5:30PM

PC gaming is not dead. Whoever told you that is a liar.

Reader @ Apr 1st 2009 5:39PM

You console gamers hold on to that illusion. PC Gaming is here to stay.

MagnusMastah @ Apr 1st 2009 5:41PM

Really? People still believe that bullshit? Welcome to reality, dude. PC gaming isn't going anywhere. Read your news sites.

anexanhume @ Apr 1st 2009 5:43PM

As a mass effect fan, I appreciate the jab at the dialogue wheel.

Professor Lario @ Apr 1st 2009 5:46PM

"These brave souls wade into battle wielding tome and quill, armored not in ensorcelled plate or links of chain, but in the knowledge of generations past."

Sounds exactly like the Keeper of Memories in Lois Lowry's "The Giver."

Havok @ Apr 1st 2009 5:46PM

I just got an image of Deckard Cain shushing Diablo.

Diablo stood no chance at all.

MarkHawk @ Apr 1st 2009 5:49PM

It's just no longer #1 but I'm sure it has more online players then Wii or PS3.

Spartacus @ Apr 1st 2009 5:50PM

"Back in my day, we didn't have color."

This gag was great. I actually thought it was real for the first few seconds.

Fun with Crayons @ Apr 1st 2009 6:01PM

Great gag, like the others wish this guy was playable. Don't forget the Terra-tron gag either for sc3.

Mike @ Apr 1st 2009 6:21PM

Whats up with Joystiq writing "April Fools" in front of all april fools related posts. Are they trying to take the fun out of it?

Demon G Sides @ Apr 1st 2009 6:21PM

TerraTron was better :(

Uncontrol @ Apr 1st 2009 6:37PM

this was the best april fools of the day

dextro @ Apr 1st 2009 6:44PM

The class looks damn strong pity it seems like it's handycap is beeing limited to about 1 hp...

Oh wait, it's a joke? DOH!! And here I was thinking I could do Shush spam :P

pedasn @ Apr 1st 2009 7:08PM

dude, we play games on mobile phones, why should we stop playin on pc?

Great Golem+ @ Apr 1st 2009 7:44PM

Finally, librarians of the world have a game to call their own.

Kris @ Apr 1st 2009 7:45PM

this is probably my favorite april fools joke this year

Eric @ Apr 1st 2009 7:51PM

sooooo how long do you think it took them to make this? 45 minutes? an hour? a day?

Ha Ha blizzard. Screw april fools. I would rather the game come out 45 minutes sooner!

The Dark Wayne @ Apr 1st 2009 9:03PM

IM GONNA FUCKING TEACH YOU TO DEATH!

KylHu @ Apr 1st 2009 9:19PM

It's like Blizzard answers my prayers every April Fools and then gives me the finger the very next day. Bards, pandaren, two-headed ogres, and now this? Terra-trons, too.

Fuck you, Blizzard. Fuck you for making April Fools stuff that is far more awesome than anything that is actually in the games. How much development time do you spend on these and they are never actually in game?

On that note, make Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3 faster please.