April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder

by Justin McElroy { Apr 1st 2009 at 2:50PM }

You may think he's a stick in the mud, but Jack Thompson does have a sense of humor. Want proof? Hot on the news of a slaying that may be connected to GTA, JT wrote us to say: "This is a switch, as it is typically the chronic players of these murder simulators that kill people - lots of people. In light of this new and welcome development, Miami anti-violent video game activist today puts forth a modest proposal to curtail sales of the Grand Theft Auto video games: Anyone who shoots and kills a player of the Grand Theft Auto video games gets a) a full pardon and b) a $5000 federal income tax credit because of the killer's successful efforts to reduce pollution."

A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.

Tags: april-fools, april-fools-09, grand-theft-auto, jack-thompson, violence

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Fraggy4 @ Apr 1st 2009 2:55PM

JT's played GTA before, right? If so, send me the money, government.

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:09PM

*BANG*
Oh we can get paid for this?

WiredKnight @ Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM

I love our new job.

bld @ Apr 1st 2009 2:56PM

Please, stop giving him press.

zero2dash @ Apr 1st 2009 4:00PM

A-freaking-men!

Don't y'all know DON'T FEED THE TROLL? Sheesh.

sinyakuza @ Apr 1st 2009 2:58PM

Anyone else creeped out by the picture?

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:21PM

Here's a less creepy picture.
http://www.horrorfindweekend.com/state/maryland/images2006/store/crypt_keeper.jpg

playwhutyalike @ Apr 1st 2009 3:33PM

I am. I had to fart before I saw that picture, but then it turned into a full blown episode of shitting my pants.

ejordan @ Apr 1st 2009 2:58PM

It's April.

Turd Ferguson @ Apr 1st 2009 3:55PM

haha good thought.
i liked 1UP's lego halo April Fool's article a couple years ago.

eugaet @ Apr 1st 2009 2:58PM

Personally, I don't think he's joking.

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:12PM

I've suddenly got this image of Jack running around Rambo style attacking Gamestops around the country.

Jampirow @ Apr 1st 2009 2:58PM

Jack Thompson is a goddamned attention whore. Everybody (not only gamers, but judges as well) think he's a complete idiot. So why does he even bother anymore?

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:13PM

Minus the attention and you'll have the equivalent to his credibility.

DaveMcRae @ Apr 1st 2009 3:00PM

That picture is fucking creepy. The stare!

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM

How else do you think he practiced law in Florida for so long? Every case he won was only because of the "Jack Stare".

Altairio @ Apr 1st 2009 3:02PM

Only an ice sculpture of him surrounded by an assortment of chocolate covered fruit could be classier.

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:08PM

God someone get this guy a dentist!

Smak @ Apr 1st 2009 3:09PM

Way to keep making us take you seriously, Jack.

WiredKnight @ Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM

Myes. Murder and bribery. What a laugh. April fools indeed.

Diskoboy7 @ Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM

Only if he's the first, and only, target...

343 Guilty Fart @ Apr 1st 2009 3:24PM

Sorry, what was the classical literature reference?

Neuromancer @ Apr 1st 2009 3:41PM

A Modest Proposal, it's about eating babies.

Shmil @ Apr 1st 2009 4:39PM

and making clothes out of babies

Levi (God Hand Defense Force) @ Apr 1st 2009 3:30PM

Ahhh, JT emulating Swift's "A Modest Proposal", possibly the world's first troll.

Lilinka @ Apr 1st 2009 3:31PM

Erm, by the category April Fools, was this seriously an email from JT sent to you guys meant as an "april fools joke" or rather are you simply making up the story, because if you are... well, it's a bit TOO believable, to be honest.

F1: Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu @ Apr 1st 2009 3:37PM

Which is the scary part ya know?

scaught @ Apr 1st 2009 3:33PM

I really could go for some pizza right about now.

Josh @ Apr 1st 2009 3:35PM

Seriously, though, Jack, you've got to stop all your nonsense.

pedasn @ Apr 1st 2009 3:35PM

HaHa, that nearly made me forget that economic-crisis-mediacircus!!!

But wait, couldn't that be a welcome adition to the jobmarket.

FREELANCE GAMEHUNTER

where can i sign. that's what i call a buck for the bang.

iiijeremy @ Apr 1st 2009 3:39PM

This reminds me of a joke I heard on the radio the other day...

A guy gets sentenced to prison and arrives at his cell, where he meets his cell mate. Before anything is said between them, the cellmate calls out the number 19 and everyone within earshot begins cracking up. Once that dies down, someone from another cell calls out the number 24 and, once again, everyone within ear shot begins cracking up with laughter.

The new prisoner waits for the noise to die down, then asks his cell mate what was so funny. The cell mate tells him that the prisoners have memorized and assigned numbers to all the jokes, so when someone calls out a number, they all think of the joke and simultaneously laugh at the punch line.

Wanting to be accepted, the new prisoner calls out the number 16, but nothing happens. After a moment, he's asks his cell mate what happened. The cell mate responds by telling him that some people just don't know how to tell a joke.

Seems fitting, eh?