A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.
April Fools: Jack Thompson wants government to legalize gamer murder
by Justin McElroy 
on Apr 1st 2009 2:50PM
43
A hilarious call for mass murder in the wake of an actual tragedy and a classic literature reference? Be still our hearts.
Reader Comments (43)
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:21PM F1 Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu said
Here's a less creepy picture.
http://www.horrorfindweekend.com/state/maryland/images2006/store/crypt_keeper.jpg
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http://www.horrorfindweekend.com/state/maryland/images2006/store/crypt_keeper.jpg
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:33PM (Unverified) said
I am. I had to fart before I saw that picture, but then it turned into a full blown episode of shitting my pants.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:55PM (Unverified) said
haha good thought.
i liked 1UP's lego halo April Fool's article a couple years ago.
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i liked 1UP's lego halo April Fool's article a couple years ago.
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:12PM F1 Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu said
I've suddenly got this image of Jack running around Rambo style attacking Gamestops around the country.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:13PM F1 Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu said
Minus the attention and you'll have the equivalent to his credibility.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM F1 Basu Gasu Bakuhatsu said
How else do you think he practiced law in Florida for so long? Every case he won was only because of the "Jack Stare".
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:14PM WiredKnight said
Myes. Murder and bribery. What a laugh. April fools indeed.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:24PM 343 Guilty Fart said
Sorry, what was the classical literature reference?
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:30PM Levi Partridge said
Ahhh, JT emulating Swift's "A Modest Proposal", possibly the world's first troll.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:31PM (Unverified) said
Erm, by the category April Fools, was this seriously an email from JT sent to you guys meant as an "april fools joke" or rather are you simply making up the story, because if you are... well, it's a bit TOO believable, to be honest.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:35PM JoshMilewski said
Seriously, though, Jack, you've got to stop all your nonsense.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:39PM (Unverified) said
This reminds me of a joke I heard on the radio the other day...
A guy gets sentenced to prison and arrives at his cell, where he meets his cell mate. Before anything is said between them, the cellmate calls out the number 19 and everyone within earshot begins cracking up. Once that dies down, someone from another cell calls out the number 24 and, once again, everyone within ear shot begins cracking up with laughter.
The new prisoner waits for the noise to die down, then asks his cell mate what was so funny. The cell mate tells him that the prisoners have memorized and assigned numbers to all the jokes, so when someone calls out a number, they all think of the joke and simultaneously laugh at the punch line.
Wanting to be accepted, the new prisoner calls out the number 16, but nothing happens. After a moment, he's asks his cell mate what happened. The cell mate responds by telling him that some people just don't know how to tell a joke.
Seems fitting, eh?
Reply
A guy gets sentenced to prison and arrives at his cell, where he meets his cell mate. Before anything is said between them, the cellmate calls out the number 19 and everyone within earshot begins cracking up. Once that dies down, someone from another cell calls out the number 24 and, once again, everyone within ear shot begins cracking up with laughter.
The new prisoner waits for the noise to die down, then asks his cell mate what was so funny. The cell mate tells him that the prisoners have memorized and assigned numbers to all the jokes, so when someone calls out a number, they all think of the joke and simultaneously laugh at the punch line.
Wanting to be accepted, the new prisoner calls out the number 16, but nothing happens. After a moment, he's asks his cell mate what happened. The cell mate responds by telling him that some people just don't know how to tell a joke.
Seems fitting, eh?
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 3:42PM (Unverified) said
I'm sorry but that might be the worst joke I've ever heard.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 4:51PM (Unverified) said
No need to be sorry. It's admittedly not the funniest joke in the world, or perhaps not even a funny joke in said world, but it at least went with the theme of the post!
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 4:05PM (Unverified) said
How about a law legalizing the murder of anyone who prefaces their satirical jokes with the that goddamn "modest proposal" cliche?
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 5:06PM Levi Partridge said
Seriously. A Modest Proposal was the Napoleon Dynamite of the 18th century.
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Posted: Apr 1st 2009 4:49PM Jomolungma said
Gosh, after watching "Manos" The Hands of Fate MST3K again last night, that photo makes me think JT is really The Master. Or Torgo. Tough call.
Manos
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Manos
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 5:19PM Levi Partridge said
Posted: Apr 1st 2009 9:42PM technoKyle said
Professionalism and taste, thy name is Jack Thompson.
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Posted: Apr 2nd 2009 3:56PM (Unverified) said
Could you imagine if someone took this seriously and killed a GTA-player. Maybe then we could legally get rid of Thompson for good. But yeah, what an inconsiderate and ignorant ass
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