It's a morning just like any other, save for one joyous difference. You stumble out of bed, groggy and mildly alarmed by the monstrous shape your hair assumed during the night. A sip of coffee does little to bring your brain out of its fatigue nebula, with a glance at the calendar reminding you that ... wait a minute. It's May! The new Fable II downloadable add-on, "See the Future," is supposed to be out this month!

You quickly don your Bananas in Pajamas dressing gown and rush into the living room, shouting, "Wake up! Wake up you piece of slumbering silicon!" at the Xbox 360. Oh, you simply can't wait to download the new content, which marks the return of Murgo the Trader and the beginning of a new quest to lift a trio of curses placed on mysterious items. What wondrous new wares await you? What new breed will you choose for your post-potion pet? What good (or evil?) will you get up to with new costumes (including a Hobbe outfit!), hairstyles and "psycho Jester make-up?"

Oh, but you're getting carried away. There's still the 560 ($7) charge to pay before you can chase after the "Ghosts of the Snowglobe," save "The Cursed Knight" from his fate or bludgeon everything to a pulp in "The Colosseum." Of course, there are some free items offered to Fable II players (like "Welley's soldier helmet"), but only the premium pack offers ... oh. It's not online today.

You suddenly remember that Joystiq failed to mention what day in May the DLC would arrive. Those incompetent, unreliable bastards.