New FpsBrain pills claim to make your eyes see games better

Listen, we're not doctors. Obviously. If we were doctors, we probably wouldn't be blogging. We'd be off doing highly lucrative doctor stuff. Still, even without years of fancy doctor schoolin', we can assure you that taking pills of any sort won't make you better at playing video games -- even when those pills are the new gamer-oriented FpsBrain Zoom "visual performance" enhancing capsules.

These meds are set apart from FpsBrain's other offerings, which contain enough caffeine and guarana to allow most toddlers to tap into the Speed Force. Instead of filling you with raw energy, Zoom allows you to actually see better during your lengthy Halo 3 sessions, providing you with the ocular edge that ... aw, screw it. Taking good care of your eyes is important, but ordering dubious pills from European countries probably isn't the best way to do so. We prefer carrots! They're crunchy, delicious and American.