Here are your (mostly horrible) Kojima theories

by Justin McElroy { May 14th 2009 at 12:30PM }

Guys, we're not even sure you're taking this seriously. We gave you the very important job of analyzing this Kojima teaser image with your own drawing and annotations, and we got back silliness. You think this is fun time? You think it's cute to pretend to see Sonic in the clouds? Well, you're wrong.

If you'd like to submit a more serious take on the full image, send it our way with your Joystiq username, or heck, tweak a picture of the new teaser site. But remember: This is serious and important.

Gallery: Kojima Teaser Ad

Tags: kojima, kojima-productions, konami, photoshop

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

skyzbig @ May 14th 2009 12:36PM

Wow, rough.

Levi @ May 14th 2009 12:37PM

Lol that's pretty hilarious.

smcn @ May 14th 2009 12:37PM

That looks shopped. I can tell from the pixels and having seen quite a few shops in my time.

Archon (PSN: Archonik, XBL: DarkARHN) @ May 14th 2009 1:27PM

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/5/5d/Shopped.jpg/500px-Shopped.jpg

Phizzy @ May 14th 2009 6:59PM

What the hell? Don't vote up the idiot who had to post the original image for you idiots to understand it.

Mr Khan @ May 14th 2009 12:39PM

Need a direct comparison with the original to see if those shapes in the clouds aren't altered at all

But yeah, a Sonic/Snake crossover is most likely. Hey, they did it already, didn't they?

robert @ May 14th 2009 1:22PM

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/348/snake.gif

unaltered clouds with Snake pic on a different layer

Count Noobula @ May 14th 2009 12:40PM

What? can nobody wait until Monday? I bet all of you peek at your Christmas gifts too.

Kamizar @ May 14th 2009 12:41PM

Feels good to laugh this hard in the morning.

PoonDaddy @ May 14th 2009 12:41PM

Maybe we WERE serious Joystiq. Prepare for Konami's "Metal Gear Sonic Bloody Duch Hunt Series of Digits Solid!" Filled with tons of grass-stomping, face-smacking action!

j.howlett @ May 14th 2009 12:46PM

no body here circled what might be a building on the far right behind the branches?

kevin @ May 14th 2009 12:47PM

zone of the enders 3?

redjack @ May 14th 2009 12:51PM

Paints with no dongs? No credibility to these theories.

XBL: Burritoclock @ May 14th 2009 12:56PM

I am sure they sifted through 1000's of dongs to get these 4 pics.

Kattleox @ May 14th 2009 12:52PM

Do you know what I WANT it to be? That's the minefield where you fought Gray Fox because he's remaking Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 with MGS4's engine.

kentuckyfried @ May 14th 2009 5:22PM

That would be wonderful.

Haohmaru @ May 19th 2009 8:17AM

omg! Let it be this!

justin @ May 14th 2009 2:07PM

I don't know if this is important, but Kojima is a huge Joy Division fan and 5.18 was when Ian Curtis hung himself. Coincidence?!?! I think not. Come on Joy Division Revolution.

dabamf @ May 14th 2009 12:58PM

+1 sir! Everyone else is staring at the clouds looking for animals, one in particular. Not us, no sirree! Look at the date!!! It's uber-significant!!!!!!

Britton @ May 14th 2009 1:20PM

These are some fantastic speculations! I don't know if this is helpful or not, but Hideo Kojima's twitter account (official? unofficial?) has a weird hint with a link to the teaser page. Check it out, duuuuuudes: http://twitter.com/hideokojima

The Baron @ May 14th 2009 12:53PM

Like that guy posted on the other thread:

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/348/snake.gif

This you cannot deny!

xFenixKnightx @ May 14th 2009 12:55PM

Hey I missed that, pretty cool.

BTW whats up with Pinocchio Snake? How did his nose grow that big? lol!

robert @ May 14th 2009 1:20PM

that was just the first pic of Snake in profile that i found

Vidikron @ May 14th 2009 3:51PM

It honestly doesn't look that close to me. It looks decent when you pop the picture on top that fast and don't really get a good look at the clouds... but if you actually compare to two side by side you'll see that the detail just isn't there. The overlay isn't giving an accurate representation. IMO, it was just meant to be clouds.

xFenixKnightx @ May 14th 2009 12:53PM

I'll be LMAO if the clouds don't mean jack shit.

The teaser site is very soothing though. I might just plug my earbuds in, turn off the lights in my office and have a nice little lunch pondering the meaning of life. Or....I might just look up some good ole' p0rn. Decisions, decisions...

Dr. Stabbingworth @ May 14th 2009 2:05PM

I'm glad I don't work in your office.

dabamf @ May 14th 2009 12:55PM

As everyone knows, 5/18 is Victoria Day, which is celebrated by Canada in honor of Queen Victoria (1819 - 1901). So, I'm thinking that it's a stealth action period piece game taking place in the Yukon Territory involving the assassination of the Victorian aristocrats. Eh???

Kevin @ May 14th 2009 12:58PM

http://www.konami.jp/kojima_pro/next/img/kumori_15.swf

What's kumori 15 mean?

Gillfigno @ May 14th 2009 1:03PM

Kumori means cloudy weather

handlas @ May 14th 2009 1:00PM

On another site they posted that Konami registered a new game name or whatever happens. It's called Tornado...something. Which makes sense based on the picture.

Dymatrex @ May 14th 2009 1:02PM

Zone of the Enders 3. It has to be.

uncle jesse @ May 14th 2009 1:06PM

Give us hell, Quimby!

Robert Maynard @ May 14th 2009 1:08PM

Cloud-face looks more like The End. Old timey sniper game.. CONFIRMED??!! :P

Kizzle @ May 14th 2009 1:10PM

MGS4 on 360 confirmed.

Britton @ May 14th 2009 1:21PM

With a prequel on the DS that is played a la Crystal Chronicles on your Xbox 360. Yeah, I'm seeing it in them there clouds... :)

Siggy @ May 14th 2009 1:28PM

Maybe there is a Snake...in...the grass?

PyroChemist @ May 14th 2009 1:28PM

HTML in the page has keywords for MGS
name="keywords" content="Hideo Kojima, MGS,METAL GEAR, NEXT, game, konami, kojima game, KJP, Kojima Production "

the flash file on the site is named Kumori_15.swf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blade_of_Kumori

Storm Eagle @ May 14th 2009 1:29PM

Yes! They added my obviously horrible Bloody Roar sequel interpretation!

NekoDaimyo @ May 14th 2009 1:39PM

Bloody Roar? Fuck yeah!

Dishwasher @ May 14th 2009 1:48PM

i think its going to be that tornado game konami is making

Exodus @ May 14th 2009 1:53PM

I am going to have to say another Metal Gear, this one based in Russia during the summertime. I mean come on you think that there would be a farm in ZOE3? I wish for a 3rd ZOE because that would be amazing...but yeah Metal Gear all the way.

emperorzeroxx @ May 14th 2009 9:48PM

I could definitely see the large snake in there, but I'm pretty sure the clouds do not represent anything...... but the sheer fact that it is a teaser from Konami kojima productions means it will be a new metal gear game or perhaps another zone of the enders, as I heard they wanted to continue that... Personally I think it would be cool for a console boktai game xD