Kojima Theories Solid: Funs of the Patriots

by Justin McElroy { May 15th 2009 at 11:15AM }

Despite our best efforts, we just can't get you people to take your important assignment, combing through Kojima's teaser ad and site for hidden clues, seriously. You think when Sherlock Holmes stared at a daguerreotype of clouds that almost certainly had no hidden clues in it he just got bored and drew pictures of Duke Nukem? We're here to tell you he did not.

So that's it, we're done, we quit. To those of you who took this as seriously as it was intended, we thank you. To the rest? Well, you'll just have to live with the knowledge of what you did, won't you?

Gallery: Kojima Teaser Ad

Tags: kojima, konami, metal-gear, metal-gear-solid, teaser

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

charlie b. @ May 15th 2009 11:20AM

i'm sorry fer whut i done.
*hangs head*

Nefariousity @ May 15th 2009 1:29PM

I think the submissions are hilarious =D But i'm sure they got plenty of serious ones too.

Here's my theory:
1. If you invert the colors, I think the trees on the left look like Gray Fox / Raiden's mask.

2. The colors of the scene looks identical to Raidens colors. (Suit=Light Grey, Black. Face=Peach, Eyes=Light Green) (http://media.photobucket.com/image/raiden%20mgs4/shinlord/UpStart/MGS4Raiden.jpg)

3. Raiden is quoted saying "I am lightning, the rain transformed..." in MGS4 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462423/quotes)

4. "Kumori" (the flash file's name) and Raiden's name does mean "thunder and lightning" in Japanese

5. "Sunny" is Olga's child who was rescued by Raiden. (http://metalgear.wikia.com/wiki/Sunny)

Thus: New Raiden Game

Levi @ May 15th 2009 11:24AM

I thought about connecting all the blades of grass to for a field of dicks, them I thought of field of dreams, and combined them to form the caption "Field of Dicks: If you build it, they will come"

I laughed too hard to photoshop it and submit it.

sonicspike41 @ May 15th 2009 11:32AM

If you're going to draw a field of dicks the caption should be, "If you play with it, they will cum."

Levi @ May 15th 2009 11:51AM

But then it would lose the reference to the movie.. Field of Dreams..

sonicspike41 @ May 15th 2009 12:33PM

Whisper it softly through the grass, I'm sure most people will be smart enough to make the connection.

IceOrb @ May 15th 2009 11:27AM

It's real simple guys: Kojima mentioned wanted to make something Raiden related. Raiden in japanese is Storm or Lightning. Cloudy screen picture? Approaching STORM? Clearly this is a Raiden game. DUN DUN DUN.....

McBrick @ May 15th 2009 11:29AM

Not only that, but the opposite of cloudy is Sunny. Haven't we already heard the suggestion that the next MGS game would be about Raiden's rescue of Olga's daughter? What was her name again? Oh, yeah.

Neuromancer @ May 15th 2009 11:29AM

You're just encouraging the man.

Manly Mcbeefington (Mr. ESC) @ May 15th 2009 11:30AM

Ha ha but seriously I would love to see Kojima Production's take on Silent Hill.

j.howlett @ May 15th 2009 11:32AM

i laughed hard at justin's frustration and the ridiculousness of some of the pictures.

netbanshee @ May 15th 2009 11:35AM

What about this comment that I posted?

http://www.joystiq.com/2009/05/14/next-kojima-project-teaser-site-now-open/comments/18839395/

Found a few things I didn't see reported.

Dr. @ May 15th 2009 11:56AM

I think you're doing it wrong.

Jack Tretton @ May 15th 2009 11:44AM

"So that's it, we're done, we quit."

Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Cuz I think you could scratch out another two or three posts about this if you really tried.

Mokano40 @ May 15th 2009 11:46AM

Patience, we will find out in a few days.

Slaziman @ May 15th 2009 12:01PM

lmao, this is your community at work joystiq

Duke @ May 15th 2009 12:23PM

You know, I think your picture rocks. Flamingo!

Slaziman @ May 15th 2009 1:29PM

thanks, im glad at least one person appreciates my analytical genius

abelpc @ May 15th 2009 12:01PM

you musta smoked some bad granola.

John Heflin @ May 15th 2009 12:13PM

The flash is named Kumori15.sfw could this be it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_of_Kumori

Jordan Biffle @ May 15th 2009 12:18PM

Jesus Joystiq, dont be douchebags and take it out on us, you jerks!

I'm banned aren't I?

tiamat5 @ May 15th 2009 12:47PM

Iceorb that is the most sensible thing I have hear since that picture appeared. You maybe on to something. I am still crossing my fingers for something new. And no more Iphone games. That's right I am talking directly to you Kojima.

fred @ May 15th 2009 12:50PM

"You think when Sherlock Holmes stared at a daguerreotype of clouds that almost certainly had no hidden clues in it he just got bored and drew pictures of Duke Nukem?"

I would certainly like to think so.

mdChaos @ May 15th 2009 1:50PM

the bloody roar pic looks like it makes the most sense IF there is actually a picture in those clouds, who the hell knows

Storm Eagle @ May 15th 2009 1:55PM

Thank you sir! (My submission.)

mdChaos @ May 15th 2009 2:02PM

once i saw the outline of the pic it stood out at me, don't know if it is bloody roar but i can't help but see that everytime i look now.

i'm not going to assume anything, i'll wait till monday

Jak Logan @ May 15th 2009 3:30PM

I think Konami's going to re-release a MGS4 Special Edition with more features: Raiden as playable, more cutscenes (damn...), etc.

Jonah @ May 15th 2009 5:03PM

There's nothing to see. Oh well, guess we'll just have to wait like good little gamers.

Popfrogs @ May 15th 2009 8:02PM

"You think when Sherlock Holmes stared at a daguerreotype of clouds that almost certainly had no hidden clues in it he just got bored and drew pictures of Duke Nukem?"

Yeah, coz DNF was still under development in his time. FACE!

Popfrogs @ May 15th 2009 8:05PM

Oh and a more serious note, I did some color adjusting, occluding, bla bla photoshop magic, and the clouds read "ZONE with a skull for the O. Recently Kojima asked if anyone was interested in a follow up and he has expressed interest in revisiting the franchise.

But yeah, I subscribe to someone else's theory that it's a Raiden game. Storms bring lightning and rain, and Raiden's story of transformation (between MGS3 and 4) would be pretty fascinating.