New Games This Month: July 2009
by Justin McElroy 
{ Jul 2nd 2009 at 3:30PM } 
If you haven't fully prepared yourself for the horror, we'd suggest you gird your mind with all the reason and clarity you can muster before continuing on.
Gallery: New Games This Month: July 2009
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Enduros @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:33PM
Month of the Yawn.
WREturns @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:36PM
You shut your mouth when you're yawning at me!
Sora @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:29PM
More like the month of the calm. Like, the calm before the storm of fall/winter releases (Like L4D2 and AC2 coming out on the same day)
WREturns @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:35PM
Bring on Wii Sports Resort!
NewJohnny @ Jul 2nd 2009 8:27PM
Damn rights, I've been waiting forever for that. Rock Band Beatles, Forza 3, and then I'm done for the year.
tmacairjordan87 @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:38PM
You know it's a bad month when Wii Sports is the headliner, and looking at the whole list...yup, definitely a bad month.
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:39PM
"....Wii Sports is the headliner...yup, definitely a bad month."
conflicting statements are conflicting
Sly @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:42PM
blazblue. king of fighters. not bad list. sentence fragments.
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:44PM
blazblue came out a few days ago and it's awesome
tmacairjordan87 @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:45PM
I'm the wrong person to talk to about 2d fighters (or 3d for that matter). I'm in the camp that feels like if you played one of them you've more or less played them all.
Mr Khan @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:49PM
Resort looks surprisingly good for what it is. Much more packed in there than the original (and that's even if you disregard the fact that there are twice as many activities)
tmacairjordan87 @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:53PM
Yeah, but it's still a minigame collection...uh...game. I could not fathom spending money on one of those.
mr nimblewick @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:45PM
tmac, I'm sure I've ever seen you say a nice thing about ANY game. What would you spend money on?
mr nimblewick @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:46PM
Err.. NOT sure, rather.
samfish (uses the Joystiq Comment-Kill filter!) @ Jul 2nd 2009 5:21PM
"Derp de derp derp derp de derpderp."
AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!
But seriously Joystiq, when in the friggin' hell are you guys going to whip out the ban hammer on this troll?
It's looooong overdue.
Haohmaru (PSN - DimmuBurgerKing XBL - A Real Puppet ) @ Jul 2nd 2009 5:25PM
BlazBlue is a great game. As for all 2D fighters being "the same," anybody trying to play BB like a Street Fighter game will get their asses spanked quite handily. ;P Good month to be a fan of fighters, at any rate. Hell, good *year*
tmacairjordan87 @ Jul 2nd 2009 5:27PM
Boy if only Samfish knew how stupid he looks right now, it's actually pretty funny.
milan @ Jul 2nd 2009 8:58PM
lol we got your back samfish, everyone on joystiq knows you're awesome
The only reason I can think of for Joystiq to not ban Tmac, who is a known professional troll, is because he drives comment counts and traffic on their site up up and up!
this is the first time i've ever posted about him. Now I kind of want him banned because its really getting to be a lot of mindless drivel on here.
Are you listening Wii Fanboy? stop letting your site turn into shit.
tmacairjordan87 @ Jul 2nd 2009 9:25PM
I like how I can not troll for weeks and still have whiners somehow complain about me. I don't know if it's a testament of my acting abilities or the IQ of some of you. Even Joystiq said this is probably the worst month for games ever, so by me echoing that you must be calling all of them trolls too.
Markez @ Jul 3rd 2009 3:53AM
It's a testament to who you truly are, genius. As another astute poster pointed out, a troll can't self-diagnose a troll. Keep playing, you'll keep failing. You're clearly pre-disposed to being a nintendo troll, so nobody expects any less. Good news for the diluted, you win!
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:38PM
THE BIG 2!! HELL YEAH!!!!!
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:39PM
I wish you could report comments for just being annoying...unfortunately he remains on topic and isn't trolling :(
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:42PM
You're the annoying one, because you're the complaining.
Shmil @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:46PM
No wang, that would make him the annoyed one. At least stop using the caps lock what are you? 12?
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:50PM
no people who complain about someone's comment that isn't trolling or saying stupid shit are annoying
Viney @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:58PM
CRIPPLE FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!
Shagittarius @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:58PM
I accidentally my 3rd grade grammar.
Neuromancer @ Jul 2nd 2009 3:58PM
Technically, it's "The Bigs 2". Plural.
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:00PM
Just noticed that
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:05PM
Wang you fall under the saying stupid shit category of your above post. Lets take a look at some of your recent posts to reinforce this.
"THE BIG 2!! HELL YEAH!!!!!"
"May I have your attention please.
FUCK GREEN DAY!!!!!!" - I don't even like Green Day and I found this annoying.
" I'm gonna buy one.
NOT"
"IM FIRST!!!!!
There are so many people to thank! Joystiq of course and my Wang Tang powers."
" Stare into my name to see your future." - you posted this at least 3 times.
"then how did you find out about DSG? hmm
THIS IS TOP SECRET INFORMATION DAMNIT!!!!!!!!"
If you could stop posting a lot of us would be thankful.
Markez @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:06PM
BUTT SCRAAAATCHER!
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:06PM
Or at the very least just pop off your Caps Lock key and swallow it.
Shmil @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:07PM
Hell, don't stop posting, just stop posting stupid things trying to be funny. The thing is, you're going the Jack Black route of trying to be funny. Yelling everything doesn't make it funny, nor does becoming immediatly defensive. We just got rid of the biggest troll here for a while and you step in and start acting a fool. We don't say these things without reason.
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:11PM
"THE BIG 2!! HELL YEAH!!!!!"
"May I have your attention please.
FUCK GREEN DAY!!!!!!" - I don't even like Green Day and I found this annoying.
" I'm gonna buy one.
NOT"
"IM FIRST!!!!!
There are so many people to thank! Joystiq of course and my Wang Tang powers."
" Stare into my name to see your future." - you posted this at least 3 times.
"then how did you find out about DSG? hmm
THIS IS TOP SECRET INFORMATION DAMNIT!!!!!!!!"
http://knowyourmeme.com/i/226/original/Gorelolinternet.jpg
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:12PM
If you don't like my comments don't read them.
Duke @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:16PM
Hard for people to not read them when they are quickly becoming all we see in these threads now. Slow down a bit and you might get people more interested in your opinions.
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:18PM
I say we just spam this guys inbox until he becomes an hero
Can't let you post that, Dumbkopf
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:19PM
Don't be a baby about it, just stop trying so hard. People don't really like your comments. Look above, the majority of them have been downvoted. There are already enough funny people here, you're not one of them. Like Duke said, slow it down a bit...you've literally posted 50 comments just today.
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:23PM
I don't care
Duke @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:25PM
Yes you do, that's why you post so much in every story. You care for attention.
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:26PM
You can claim you don't care all you want, but if you didn't you wouldn't have replied to any of us.
Markez @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:31PM
HEY YOUS GUYS WANNA PLAY SOME BIGS 2 AND SOME BOGGLE THIS WEEKEND!? SIIIIIIICK SIIIIIICK DIDDLE TOTS!!!!!
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:35PM
haha u guys are pissed off and annoyed
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:37PM
ZA WARUDO!
Toki wo tomare
KURAE
Roada Rollera da
WRYYYYYY
Muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda
Soshite toki ga ugoki desu
CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:37PM
Markez it's "THE BIG 2". Wang, no one is pissed, we just find your comments annoying. Basically we're laughing at you, not with you.
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:40PM
damn u guys must not have a life arguing with a 15 year old
Shmil @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:44PM
And you must be having a pretty shitty summer spending all day posting on every joystiq article. with such wonderful contributions as "I like the games"
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:47PM
who's arguing? Im just in ur threadz. spammin ur inbox
The Dark Wang(Ohyeahcola in disguise) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:49PM
I got yesterday after not being on for a few days
Girugamuk (Moptimus Slimed) @ Jul 2nd 2009 4:53PM
you're gonna love my nuts