What'll you say when you finally see the Wii Vitality Sensor games?

by Justin McElroy { Jul 10th 2009 at 1:15PM }

Nintendo president Reggie Fils-Amie recently talked to Fast Company about the mysterious Wii Vitality Sensor, saying, "All I can tell you is, with the game developers that we have, we will bring forth an experience that you will say, 'Wow, I get it.'"

Curious, we took a quick poll of internet luminaries (and Joystiq staffers) as to what they thought the first thing out of their mouth would be if they saw the Wii Vitality Sensor games. Who will be right? Only time will tell.

Ludwig Kietzmann: "Does it come with an apathy sensor too?"
Alexander Sliwinski: "Someone's checking their blood pressure, like the kiosk at the supermarket!"
Shipwreck, Cheap Ass Gamer: "Where's my receipt?"
James Ransom-Wiley: "What happens when I clip it to my magic finger?"
Ben Kuchera, Ars Technica: "You know, I'm done being angry at or skeptical of Nintendo. Every time I think they're doing something stupid they sell five hojillion copies of their newest concept. So sadly, I believe him."
Justin McElroy: "Hey, how'd I get to the Nintendo booth? Did I make a wrong turn at Capcom?"
Kyle Orland, Crispy Gamer: "Vomit?"
Cheapy D, Cheap Ass Gamer: "Wow, I won't get it."

[Via Eurogamer]

Tags: peripherals, vitality-sensor, wii-vitality-sensor

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 1:20PM

You know, there's a term that's thrown around the interwebs a lot. But when it comes to this sorry excuse for a video game accessory, I think it really shows it's merit:

EPIC FAIL.

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 1:26PM

Exactly. I'm sure some of the Nintendo fanboys will downvote you and comment and say that all the Nintendo accessories this gen have been great, but lets take a look at them.

You have the zapper, which really didn't do anything. You have the Wii wheel, which again didn't do anything. Then you have the balance board...the thing costed $120 total and what has it been good for? Wii Fit is alright for exercising...other then that you can use your $120 accessory for some lame Wii Music drumming, or for a couple snow games. Enough with the accessories Nintendo.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 1:29PM

I'm going to go ahead and shield myself from those downvotes because I actually own the wheel and the Wii Fit. I don't really mind those accessories so much. I use the Wheel for Mario Kart and the Fit is for my Fiancee. But my post was merely directed at the Vitality Sensor alone. Not the other accessories.

captainprotonx @ Jul 10th 2009 1:31PM

Soooo...why are these products typically far and ahead of the competition when it comes to units sold?

For all of Nintendo's failures, there is always a reason to their madness.

Pzychotix @ Jul 10th 2009 1:34PM

Erm, the plastic shells you mention aren't even analogous to this. They're just plastic shells and provide zero functionality to anything.

The one accessory that you mentioned with actual functionality has sold several million copies, making it anything but epic fail.

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 1:35PM

The wheel definitely 'does' something, and I personally think it's awesome. I love using it for Mario Kart and I think it works extremely well. It's definitely more comfy to use than steering without it, and the b button on the back is pretty slick as well.

I like the zapper but not as much. It's appropriate/kind of fun to use for light gun games but doesn't serve a purpose the same way the wheel does. I'm not a fan or owner of WiiFit so I can't really comment on that.

Mr Khan @ Jul 10th 2009 1:35PM

The balance board will soon surpass the PS3 in terms of install base, so there's definitely something worthwhile there

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 1:37PM

@ Storm Eagle/CTC - As much as I agree this is pathetic and epic fail, you also have to realize that this device isn't targeted at you at all. It's targeted at a different market than us blog commenting elitists, so if somebody else can enjoy this piece of garbage than hakuna matata as far as I'm concerned.

MarineMike @ Jul 10th 2009 1:38PM

As much as I want to agree with you, I cannot. This is only because they haven't shown what they are planning on doing with it yet.

charlie b. @ Jul 10th 2009 1:38PM

@Storm Eagle: i find that a bagel is a fine substitute for the Wii Wheel (or Wii-ell, if you will). it works in the same way, AND it's delicious.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 1:39PM

Because it's a fad, it's cool, it's a giant bandwagon and some people can't get off.

Perfect example:

The Wii Zapper: When that thing first came out, we couldn't sell it to save our lives. Must have had 50 of them for like 3 months straight. Then, all of the sudden, we couldn't keep them in stock. Everybody wanted them. They didn't drop in price, there wasn't anything new about them. Word just got around that it was the thing to have for your Wii and everyone had to have it. Just like Carnival Games. That game wasn't even good!

Captain Planet @ Jul 10th 2009 1:43PM

Now Storm Eagle, you know this "accessory" was specifically designed for the fat kids to pretend they were to doing something "vital" to their "health".

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 1:46PM

They already put that out Captain Planet. It's call the Wii Fit.

Duke @ Jul 10th 2009 1:49PM

Markez, who then is this item targeted to? Since they have shown us nothing to understand the use of it I cannot determine who its marketed for.

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 1:54PM

Fair enough, good point we haven't seen their intentions. I dunno, but I know(assume) it's not going to be marketed at your 'traditional' gamer.

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 1:55PM

What's odd is Eternal Darkness just came to my mind before I'd noticed someone else had brought it up below :P

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 1:55PM

Khan please don't wave around sales as an indicator of something being good. The Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus have probably sold more CD's than anyone you or I listen to, does that mean they are the best thing out there? I hope your answer is no. What I'm saying is that Wii balance boards are all over the place, yet they really don't do much. We don't need a new accessory every couple months that's only going to work for a couple games.

Mr Khan @ Jul 10th 2009 1:59PM

Exclusive software can be made for PS3, correct? A lot of exclusive software is, at any rate. Now, if the Balance Board is in the ballpark of the PS3's installed base, then surely the worthwhile software can emerge for it

Obviously a device's worth is defined only by the software which backs it up, but you have to be big to attract it, which the Balance Board is.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 2:02PM

Mr. Khan, how many WORTHWHILE games would you say have been released for the balance board, exactly? Because I count 0 (in terms of real gameplay value) and 1 (in terms of real money-making value).

And how can you compare an accessory to a full console? The PS3 can do a hell of a lot more than the balance board can. I'm astonished that I even had to type that sentence.

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 2:06PM

The problem with the balance board is no one is going to develop a game from the ground up for it. Without having a game being developed from the ground up, you are stuck with useless quick add on's to the occasional game and Wii Fit. No one will develop a non-fitness game exclusively for the balance board because they would be missing out on the majority of the Wii audience.

The Dark Wayne @ Jul 10th 2009 2:09PM

you know what else CAN happen Khan? I could win the lottery, i could get hit by lightning, my dog speak to me in fluent english, but all of those things have a higher probability of happening than anything worthwhile coming for the balance board. How long has it been out, has there even been rumors or speculation about new software coming out?

Captain Planet @ Jul 10th 2009 2:11PM

Are you kidding Storm Eagle? Are you telling me All Star Cheer Squad ISN'T WORTHWHILE?

Jimbotron @ Jul 10th 2009 2:11PM

Yeah, if you are a close minded dunce. I don't know enough about this thing and what it will do with software, so I cannot say if it will fail or be a success. But unlike dregs like you, I am open minded enough to give it a chance and to see what it is capable of before judging it.

By the way "epic fail" is a stupid term, and a grammatically incorrect one. You could at least use something proper, like epic failure.

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 2:15PM

Sorry to be one of those 'dregs' buddy, but I'm already well enough aware that I'm never going to want to stick my finger into this thing while I'm trying to play a video game. Never, ever, in a million years.

The Dark Wayne @ Jul 10th 2009 2:15PM

well apparently you arent open minded enough to consider that perhaps we have tried it an given it a chance? Epic fail

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 2:15PM

It has nothing to do with being close minded, the thing has sold 20 million without anything worth using it for other than Wii Fit. If you're going to continue to compare it to the PS3, then lets compare games worth playing on each.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 2:18PM

Well Jimbo, I'd like to thank you for taking what was a civil back-and-forth discussion and turning it into a "who can insult who the most" contest.

As far as being open or close minded. I'm open minded towards a lot of things. I will try anything at least once. But what can one possibility expect this thing to do, other than play some part in Nintendo's ever-growing plan to make people think they're getting healthy off their machine? I mean come on, take a chance for once Jimbo; SPECULATE.

Captain Planet @ Jul 10th 2009 2:24PM

@ Jimbotron

Welcome to the Internet, again.

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 2:25PM

Jimbotron don't be a grammar Nazi when you have posted this...

"is fail"? That s what passes as good grammar these days. Truly, truly sad. Next time trying something like "is a failure". You'l find you come across less tool-like that way.

Mr Khan @ Jul 10th 2009 2:27PM

I'll admit it's a tricky prospect to develop for the Balance Board, but i'm equally saying that the Balance Board audience is in the ballpark of the entire PS3 audience, so there is an incentive to develop there

Much like the Wii itself, really.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 2:27PM

LOL @ CTC. That wasn't too long ago. Nice find!

Damn hypocrites.

Stix Remix @ Jul 10th 2009 2:29PM

The vitality sensor could be the next step toward more immersive game technology. There are a number of uses it could have in future games.

The Dark Wayne @ Jul 10th 2009 2:30PM

So what if there's an incentive to develop, or a chance that stuff might happen? Is there anything worthwhile now? Is there anything currently in development we know about? Geez Khan, what will it take from nintendo to get you to admit that they arent Flawless Olympians?

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 2:32PM

@Khan I still don't understand your meaning.

Are you saying the because there are roughly the same amount of Wii's and PS3 in households, that they should receive equal attention from would-be developers?

Because if so, I will repeat my previous statement. The PS3 doesn't require you to stand on it to control it's games. It doesn't weigh you or tell you you're fat. You pick up the controller and you can play any one of it's hundreds of games. You can also make any game for it without any restrictions.

The Wii Balance Board? Well, I'll just say this: What use does the balance board have if you want to make a game like inFamous, or Killzone 2?

CTC XBL-supapaypamawio PSN-ctclaw @ Jul 10th 2009 2:35PM

"Geez Khan, what will it take from nintendo to get you to admit that they arent Flawless Olympians?"

I doubt we will ever see that day. Khan seems to celebrate the fact that he paid $120 for a balance board that gets hardly any use.

Markez @ Jul 10th 2009 2:36PM

flawless olympians?! lol!

Stix Remix @ Jul 10th 2009 2:41PM

@Storm Eagle: Technically, the balance board could be used to peak out of cover, much like the pedal in the Time Crisis series. This could be incorporated into any game involving cover.

Just because the Wii Balance Board hasn't been developed for many games other than Wii Fit, doesn't mean it can't be. The creative uses for the device aren't as limited as one might think. Just because it hasn't been developed for, doesn't mean it can't be. Unfortunately, just because it can be developed for, doesn't mean it will be.

I don't meant to speak for Kahn, and I don't think the board is the bee's knees, but the limitations of the board are also based off the limitations of the developer. Developers are not using it exhaustively.

The Dark Wayne @ Jul 10th 2009 2:43PM

but how would you shoot once out of that cover? You cant use a zapper or whatever because the balance board is it's own console

Stix Remix @ Jul 10th 2009 2:47PM

I was thinking of using it in conjunction with the Wii remote. Yes, using the balance board alone would be hard to incorporate a comparable game to an FPS.

Storm Eagle::The Blood Edge @ Jul 10th 2009 2:49PM

@Bruce That's what they're saying man. And it would seem to me that, for a shooter, it would be easier to have the sensor bar pick up on where the player has the wiimote/nunchuck/zapper positioned in relation to the environment. So let's say you complete break contac with the front of the wii remote and the sensor, that would put you into cover behind the object you're standing behind....or something like that. No one's going to spend an extra $90 on a board just to put their foot on it. That's one of the many reasons Wii Music sucked so bad.

j.howlett @ Jul 10th 2009 3:09PM

you can use your butt to play with the balance board. that's a win right there

Mr Khan @ Jul 10th 2009 5:02PM

"I doubt we will ever see that day. Khan seems to celebrate the fact that he paid $120 for a balance board that gets hardly any use."

Do some research at least, before insulting me. Never bought Wii Fit, never will. I don't see the value in it.

I was simply stating that the install base thereof should speak for itself, comparing it to an install base for a device that receives great attention from the development community.

Ozzman_79 @ Jul 10th 2009 6:38PM

As a semi-avid Wii player, i use my Balance Board quite often, and have no problem finding games that it brings a much better experience to. Besides using it almost everyday for Wii Fit (it's no substitute for going to the gym, but it's certainly better then NOT going to the gym at all some days), I use it for Punch-Out!!! Using it to dodge punches, along with using teh nunchuk and Wiimote as the right and left hands, makes it as close to real boxing as I have an option of currently. A lot more real then sitting on the couch and pushing buttons. I also use it for Shaun White's Snowboarding, which I find about 100 times more fun use that then using the Wimote alone. And after a while, you can certainly work up a sweat.

I think anyone above saying that there are no games developed for it or that use it to any great extent isn't looking or trying hard enough. I find the balance board enhances my my experience for those 3 games, and i'm sure there are even more out there, if I were to look hard enough

Pensier @ Jul 10th 2009 6:56PM

What about Skate It? That game was built ground up for the Wii Balance board. Then there's Punch-Out!!, Raving Rabbids TV Party,The Incredible Maze, Tetris Party, and Don King: Boxing. Those're among some of the games developed for the Wii Balance board. Also, all this talk of $120? They're $80 here.

Edward J Grug III @ Jul 10th 2009 7:04PM

Yeah, Shaun White. Skate It and Raving Rabbids 3 are all excellent games that use the balance board. I happen to think Wii Fit is great too.

Jimbotron @ Jul 11th 2009 11:24AM

@Storm: I have absolutely no idea what this thing will be used for or will add to games or other software that comes out for it. That is why I cannot write it off right now like you, even though it seems like a kind of goofy idea. But instead of deciding about it without knowing much about it, like you, I'll wait until more information comes out about it before deciding if I am interested or not, or whether this thing will succeed or not.

@CTC: How is pointing out a blatant piss poor phrase being a grammar nazi? It's not like I was nitpicking a little thing like a missing apostrophe. "Epic fail", "is fail", and "full of win" are some of the stupidest phrases I have read. Pointing out that they are stupid and make the person using them appear stupid is hardly being a grammar nazi.