Are you sitting down? 'Asteroids' movie has a plot

by Xav de Matos on Jul 25th 2009 4:00PM

You know that epic three-hundred page screenplay you've been polishing over the last decade for a film adaptation of Asteroids? Throw it away, because Universal has it nailed down. Speaking to IGN, producer Lornezo di Bonaventura said the upcoming film will focus on two brothers who must have "a seminal experience" to figure out their relationship against a backdrop of rocks in space. Riveting.

Bonaventura -- who will soon help ruin your childhood with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra -- added that his attraction to the Asteroids license was because it promises an action-packed affair with "some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up." Also, he thinks it tells moviegoers "that there's going to be this big thing in space." So, we can only assume that Universal Studios buys movie licenses by scanning a dictionary.

[Via Shacknews]

Source

Tags: asteroids, asteroids-movie, film-adaptation, gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra, ign, Lornezo-di-Bonaventura, strange, universal

Reader Comments (65)

wat.

On a more serious note, yea, this sounds pretty awful.

...Do people in Hollywood even know what video games are!?

To be fair, Asteroids does fit the mold of what the average non-gamer thinks games are.

Still sounds terrible.

I'm about 99% sure that this guy is just Uwe Boll wearing a mask.

Okay wait, listen to yourselves people you're worried about someone ruining ASTEROIDS. Think about that.

As long as there are ships, space and rocks exploding with in it anything else is a BONUS. For god's sake it could be a buddy cop comedy an still be true to the "source material" hell then the sequel can be "SpaceWar" where the two guys have to fight each other while spiraling around a black hole. Oh and that cap to the trillogy can be "Starcastle" where the survivor has to attack the space stronghold of the person responsible for the other character's death!

This stuff practically writes itself! Of course then we have to watch out for the eventual movies trying to capitalize on the Asteroids movie like "Sinistar" which I'm certain is already being fast-tracked.

PN04, Uwe Boll's House of the dead would like to talk to you about zombie flicks and how he managed to ruin one

@PN04

We're not worried about them not sticking to the source material. We're wondering why someone would try to make a movie based on a game with no source material. It's like someone making a Pong movie. Why base it on Pong when you could just make it an original IP that doesn't sound like such a stupid idea

ijames99 has it right.

PN04, we're not really worried about them "ruining" the amazing, multifaceted plot of Asteroids, we're just annoyed that they seem to think its okay to choose any video game IP and make a movie out of it. If they can do it with so little to work with, i.e. Asteroids, why base it off of an existing IP at all? All they really want is the product recognition, they know people know the name Asteroids. At this point they're obviously just riding on coattails, especially so because they're, what, twenty years late?

"...Do people in Hollywood even know what video games are!?"

I think the real question is whether these Hollywood people know what movies are.

Judging by recent product, I have cause to doubt.

I think the movie industry is doing this shit on purpose cause they're mad that we're kicking their ass. Maybe if they make enough horrible movies based off games, while telling everyone "hey this is based on the game!" they'll scare people away from gaming.

This...this is pretty bad.

That actually makes sense.

Of course, games based on movies are in most cases, just as bad. Asteroids is just another example of the rocky relationship (pun not intended) between the games industry and Hollywood

i feel that the movie industry has to make their mistakes when using properties before succeeding - half the comic book movies that come out now are great while before they were all terrible. maybe if the movie industry keeps trying they'll eventually make some good game-based movies.

Attach Bruce Willis to the cast and maybe an Aerosmith soundtrack... I'm there!

I see what you did there...

Used the same now cliche line?

Oh wait, that's what you did.

i would have preferred Pacman: the movie.

We have already had space invaders, it was called independance day,

speaking of which i think i know what im gunna go watch now

I've seen Independance day so maaaaany times.

On that note, we already have an Asteroids movie, two in fact.

Armageddon, and its counterpart Deep Impact.

i dunno bout that. they wernt really similar to astroids there wasnt quite enought astroids nor was there much blasting away in a spaceship

They already have trailers for Tetris the movie and Minesweeper the movie, so I think they should have built on those.

Or just finally got round to a sequel to Mario Bros.

*Throws away script

*Starts writing Tetris script

Hey, there was a pretty awesome Tetris movie trailer on YouTube a while back. Something about space invaders I think...

Space Invaders/Tetris crossover anyone?

Wait till people see my script for Pong. Seriously, I'm in talks with Michael Bay.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/01/24/

i was thinking something of a 'last starfighter'

That's it. Hollywood officially has pretty much no talent anymore.

if JC Avatar blows then you might be right

Well we all know the other avatar is gonna blow

What a TWIST!!

@Tim

He is The Last Airbender.

I c wat u did there

I think it's enough with Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Gears of War, Warcraft, Spyro, Kane & Lynch, Bioshock, Castlevania, Devil May Cry, Doom 2, Earthworm Jim, Everquest, God of War, Lost Planet, Need for Speed, Metroid, Resistance, Wolfenstein, Shadow of the Colossus, Soul Calibur, Sims, Elder Scrolls, Splinter Cell, Uncharted & Army of Two.

Do we seriously need another game-movie?

Metroid was canned, thank god. At least, i'm pretty sure. Announced back in 02, when everyone was in Metroid frenzy because of the dual releases of Prime and Fusion. And of course, we know Halo was canned from yesterday's fiasco.

It's not about us, it's about them. Yes, THEY need a movie. We don't really need anything. Although if i had to chose, I'd rather have a Rad Racer movie starring Vin Diesel.

Hollywood is like a kid that just won't leave sh*t alone no matter how many times you tell them not to touch.

Lol @ Lornezo. Am i the only one who realized that's a spelling mistake or is that an actual name (or is it one of those made up names like Santonio or Shanay)?

Does anyone actually think this movie will be... good?

No.

I'm pretty sure brothers having a seminal experience is illegal in most states.

Lol, this whole film sounds like a gay space opera.

they will make it 3D for sure

Maybe it will be two brothers piloting a ship through space and are so bored, playing Asteroids is the only way they can pass the time. Then they hack the shipboard computer so they can play it co-op.

Who am I kidding? This is going to suck.

“some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up” Either this man is buttfucking retarded or he thinks everyone in the world besides him are buttfucking retarded.

For some reason I thought using are instead of is there would be better grammar. Maybe I'm buttfucking retarded. Uh-oh... I think I'm getting the urge to see the G.I. Joe movie.

Michael Bay made robots blowing things up and it's made $600 million, worldwide. Humanity is just retarded.

Bob: "Hey Jim?"

Jim: "Busy shooting asteroids in the middle if space here."

Bob: "Don't asteroids usually travel in thin bands?"

Jim: "Yeah, your point being?"

Bob: "Why don't we just go up or down and avoid them?"

Jim: "...Damn you logic!"

Am I the only one who thinks GI Joe actually looks like a pretty decent action flick?

[Banned!]

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Are you sitting down? 'Asteroids' movie has a plot

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