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Reader Comments (98)

Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:37PM (Unverified) said

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wow.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 3:50PM StormEagle said

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*Snore*...What?...Huh-what...? 50 million? Uh-huh, that's nice. *Snore*
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 3:59PM Shadowbender said

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Don't worry, it's all a dream...
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:03PM StormEagle said

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Also....

Where's Wiizer? We need to get to work on Wii Sweatshop games ASAP.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:07PM Shadowbender said

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I don't mean to sound like an idiot but...can someone please explain to me the sweatshop thing. I don't think I was around when it originated. Sorry to crap everyone's style.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:10PM Wiizer said

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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:20PM (Unverified) said

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I love you guys.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:22PM Shadowbender said

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Haha, thanks. For a while I was really lost. So then...when are we going to recruit people to start building a sweatshop-styled Wii? Hmm...We could do what I did when I couldn't afford a Game Boy when I was a little kid...make one out of paper and color it with marker. And then we taser the people who color it with crayon instead of marker. Taser 'em on the back of the neck. Ooh, I can smell the roast already. Of course, our workers will have to pay for the tasers.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:24PM Wiizer said

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We do not pay you to love! Are those makeshift night vision goggles good enough to pass QA inspection yet?

Don't make me have you do them over a 13th time...
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:26PM (Unverified) said

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If I may make a suggestion;

Wii Sweatshop!

Play 15 exciting minigames, including:

Begging Kathie Lee Gifford for gruel
Sewing together Nikes
Prying rusty nails out of your hands
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:26PM RANDOM G Joystiq Troll Slayer said

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@shadowbender

You can join the newly created Wiizer Sweatshop Studios, the gaming division of Wiizer Sweatshops Inc.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:26PM Shadowbender said

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This is no laughing-matter either. I'll step on anyone's face that demonstrates the slightest smirk.

Wait...I don't have the power to do that. Recruit me. Gosh dang it recruit me! RECRUIT ME!!!
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:27PM (Unverified) said

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About the goggles... I don't think people are going to be fooled by a flashlight taped onto swim goggles.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:27PM (Unverified) said

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I'm sorry, but Human compassion is strictly against company policy, please pay the fine at your local Human Resources representative/sadist/botanist at the companies Piranha plant garden offices.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:27PM StormEagle said

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Unfortunately the "rusted metal" (pfft, what metal?) they CLAIM we used has been leaving large gashes in the tester's heads. QA wants them done again and frankly sir, we're running low on resources.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:29PM Shadowbender said

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@ Random G Yes, thank you, kind Saint.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:36PM Shadowbender said

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Who wants to pay for the whips? Oh, and the little machines that kids like to put their hands in.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:37PM RANDOM G Joystiq Troll Slayer said

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@shadowbender
We do not say "thank you" or refer to each other as "saint". That is strictly against company policy. Please report to the HR department to pay your fine (in blood).
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:38PM (Unverified) said

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I want to be promoted. Preferably something with a secretary.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:39PM Shadowbender said

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How many lashings?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:41PM Marius said

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Ignore me
*takes out Spy cam
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:42PM (Unverified) said

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Goddamnit! I've been here since the beginning! Can I be VP of something? Like "Lacerations" or "Facial Disfigurement"?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:42PM RANDOM G Joystiq Troll Slayer said

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@ Alton
Your welcome to be the Assistant Bitchslapper.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:43PM (Unverified) said

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YES! SWEET, SWEET, SEMI-AUTHORITY!
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:44PM StormEagle said

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Wait a minute. What's going on here? Promotions? Infiltrators? Secretaries? This is a sweatshop! You'll work and you'll like it!
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:46PM (Unverified) said

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Ok, you win. Where do you want these fetid, cancerous organs?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:47PM Shadowbender said

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Signs of emotion...despicable.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:48PM (Unverified) said

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I'm sorry, but we only accept AB+ blood as a form of payment. If employee is unable to give us said blood, we will gladly take a piece of organ as collateral.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:48PM Marius said

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of course Mr. Eagle
I'll get right on it, but first were do you keep your company records, out of curiosity
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:53PM (Unverified) said

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Can we at least have a little music? I'm thinking Pat Benatar.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 4:56PM (Unverified) said

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I'm sorry, but any forms of enjoyment are strictly against company policy.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:00PM Shadowbender said

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I was thinking "Bulls on Parade", because it resembles anger. Oh wait, no emotions allowed in sweatshops...
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:04PM Shadowbender said

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Oh and i wanted to pitch an idea. Of course, if that isn't prohibited. You see, I was thinking that we make SELF-CONTROLLED Wiimotes, ones that will throw you arm into a window. That way, people will KNOW discipline.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:14PM RANDOM G Joystiq Troll Slayer said

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Shadowbender, if we can't make them out of rubberbands, squirrel organs, and Fat Megan Fox's bathwater, then I don't think it's going to happen.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:21PM (Unverified) said

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Don't forget lead! It's our most important tool here at Wiizer Sweatshops!
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:22PM Shadowbender said

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I'll try to hold in the tears.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:27PM Shadowbender said

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Wait a minute...Lead! We could make the Wiimotes with lead! It's so strong, so that way we won't have to pay for replacements. Yes!

Oh, oh...forgive me for the unnecessary outburst. My behavior is outrageous and appalling.

Oh, and we need a pledge...
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:31PM (Unverified) said

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But the lead wiimotes would be so heavy that the little children couldn't even hold them. They wouldn't even be able to enjoy the hundreds of minigames before they die of lead poisoning :(
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:31PM (Unverified) said

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I've got an idea for a pledge. How about "Shut the fuck up, you'll get fed eventually."?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:46PM Shadowbender said

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Do you think we should have a salute? Such as putting a burning Wiimote up your butt? I mean, we must be willing to make sacrifices.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 5:53PM bongoes said

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Is it too late to join the sweatshop?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 6:04PM (Unverified) said

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Its never too late, just sign here with your blood, AB+ of course; if you don't have that type, then please give us an organ, preferably the heart. Now here's your rag that you will were, no pockets, stealing is not prohibited. Ok, now here is your 3456 page Employee Handbook, please read it while in your cage.

Now that that's out of the way, come to our office for your mandatory branding, we needed it in case of stealing or acts of escaping of you.

Well, then, I, ArchiGamer Head of Human Resources, welcome you to Wiizers Sweatshop. Please visit us for any help.

DISCLAIMER: I don't help people.
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 6:08PM (Unverified) said

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*DISCLAIMER: I don't help people, I kill them.


[How the Hell did i miss that one!!]
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 6:46PM bongoes said

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WOOO!!! I'm in!!
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Posted: Aug 1st 2009 7:48AM Istari Spartan said

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This is why I keep coming back to Joystiq; the jokes.

Where can I sign up to call people maggots and force them to work harder?
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Posted: Jul 31st 2009 3:51PM (Unverified) said

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Nintendo Wii: it prints money.
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