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Reader Comments (91)

Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:07AM edgar said

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Instead of this, Nintendo should've released a rechargable Wiimote.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 1:45AM Brodo said

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The thing that pisses me off the most about this piece of garbage is that it is gonna sell in the millions.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 9:23AM (Unverified) said

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What's that you say? Hating.... on one another's fortune?

Sounds like the perfect opportunity to plug my favorite link here at Joystiq!!!

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24419


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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:08AM BrokenTriforce said

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New Eternal Darkness with insanity based on this thing's readings.

That's the only good use with this thing I can think of.

Anybody else got anything?
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:09AM (Unverified) said

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Left4Dead Extraction, The AI director gets readings off this thing to help it decide what zombies n crap to throw at you.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:12AM MystileArmor said

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You mean come up with something besides the fact you can now finger something while waggling your wii about?

HIYOOO
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:40AM MystileArmor said

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You know everyone will just cheat any game by smoking a bowl before playing.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 1:24AM BPMOmega XBL PSN Steam said

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Since the thing is far from release, I hope that they'll change it to a earlobe clip style instead. That was what they did with a N64 version of Tetris in Japan. The difficulty would change depending on your heartbeat.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 8:44AM MarioGreat said

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People aren't creative enough.

Obviously, the primary usage of this thing will involve any type of game that involves increased pulse rate, which by itself includes a wide range of genres (FPS, Horror, Fitness, and hell, any game that has you waggling a lot).

Now here's the thing that lets me know I'm not creative myself: Of those genres I listed, Nintendo only makes one of those (the 'Fitness' genre, of course). The rest of their repertoire consists largely of Platform, Adventure, and RPGs. So presuming Nintendo plans to use this device for more than just the 'Fitness' genre, then they must have something very interesting in their arsenal.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:01PM Jamp said

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Don't forget this, uhh, thing takes up the Nunchuk Slot and one of your hands. In other words, I can only see this being used in On-Rail shooters and casual crap.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:27PM (Unverified) said

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All of you have no clue, the best use for this sensor would be to use it as a CONTROLLER!

You put your finger in, the game plays itself because it knows something alive is around, the shitty gamer is happy, Miyamoto sitting on a big pile of money with lots of beautiful women and is happy.

This possibility seriously would not surprise me.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 4:50PM Fullmetal Salchemist said

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Left 4 Dead on the Wii? Yeah, how fun it'll be to shoot down a horde of three zombies.

And what if you're not eight-years-old, and are no longer scared by "horror" games?
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:08AM (Unverified) said

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I still feel that this was some kind of bet between the Nintendo higher ups. See what crazy idea they could get the public to buy.
Miyamato is currently wining in points, he's currently found just picking stuff up on his way through the hospital to work is doing him well.
WiiBedpan due Fall 2011.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:14AM BrokenTriforce said

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Iwata's the insane one.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 3:06AM Sly C said

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WiiDiaperChangingTable due Summer 2010.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:10AM MystileArmor said

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Super Mario Bros. 4: The FBI investigation:

FBI Agent: Is your name Mario?
Mario: Yes

*beep.............beep...........beep*

FBI Agent: Have you ever been under the influence of shroomsl?
Mario: Uhm.... no no not at all

*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:16AM (Unverified) said

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FBI Agent: We have evidence here from PETA that you have a long history of cruelty to animals, what do you have to say on that?
Mario: But they were walking towards me!
FBI Agent: You could of easily jumped over them, but no, you burned them alive, jumped on them, some you just watched walk off cliffs. Junkies like you, you make me sick.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:20AM MystileArmor said

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Go ruin someone elses joke.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:20AM (Unverified) said

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FBI Agent: We have reason to believe you said this just before murdering civilians.

"Look, Luigi! There are coins EVERYWHERE!"

Mario: Aah, no comment.

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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:33AM (Unverified) said

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Mystile, I love you!! *hugs Mystile*
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:35AM BananaBoat said

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"Mr...Mario was it? Is it true that on the night of August the 5th, 2003, you grabbed a turtle by the tail, spun him around, and then chucked him into a pool of lava, burning him alive?"

"Itssa not what'chu think! He had kidnappad de princessa Peach!"

"That's all I needed to know. You're going away for a long time...you sick son of a bitch"
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:39AM MystileArmor said

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Maybe you can give Deanb and Bradwart some tips on how to take someones joke and make a good run with it, Bananaboat?
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:53AM (Unverified) said

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Bradwart was referencing this -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8jTUrgkYv4
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 2:06AM BananaBoat said

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I applied for time off to teach a comedy class, but apparently they are in need of my services at the glorious sweatshop. Fret not however, for my vacation is scheduled for next month, pending my next performance review.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 3:08AM Sly C said

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bananaboat, there won't be a performance report. i'll just whack you with my cane a couple times then send you back to work.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 8:55AM PedoJokerBear said

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but you just said there wasnt a performance review
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 9:13AM (Unverified) said

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You are all murderers of humor. Good lord.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 11:15AM Jrinswand said

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The joke, which wasn't very funny to begin with, died as soon as MystileArmor became overly protective.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:13AM Gun Barrier said

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The only thing that bugs me about this sensor is that it cannot be used with the nunchuck as well, unless it comes with a splitter. I still have faith that this will turn out good though.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:14AM wardob said

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As ridiculous as this thing is, it would not surprise me in the slightest if they made it the new "must have" item and sell millions.

Maybe this is there way to brake into the over 75 crowd.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:18AM MystileArmor said

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Good luck trying to get a pulse from the oldies. Maybe if they link that thing to their life-alert system, you have a winner.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:15AM TheDarkWayne said

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No, I will not. I will have absolutely no confidence. Fuck you
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:22AM (Unverified) said

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Please
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:17AM (Unverified) said

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I have no confidence.

I'll admit, I don't own a Wii. I've had every Nintendo console except a Wii. Crap like this makes me shake my head and delay shelling out for a Wii yet again.
Until Nintendo pulls their head out, I'll keep spending my money on my 360/PS3 and keep collecting old consoles.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:24AM (Unverified) said

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I'm just gonna do what I did when the balance board was coming out, laugh in Miyamoto's face and try not to think at just how far he's fallen this gen. Eventually the painful memories will force my brain to erase them and replace it with a "miyamoto dies in plane crash shortly after launch of ocarina of time" memory, that way I can pretend he died untarnished.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:30AM (Unverified) said

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Miyamoto worked on Pikmin, Metroid Prime, Twilight Princess, and Super Mario Galaxy after Ocarina of Time. :/
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:32AM Johnnynumber5 is powered by cell said

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I wouldn't say his legacy has been tarnished this generation. Thats probably a little dramatic all things considered. But, he did come up with Wii Music so I'll concede that much.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:33AM (Unverified) said

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I remember when everyone thought WiiMusic would be the next big thing...

Then E3 2008 happened.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:34AM (Unverified) said

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He didn't direct galaxy or TP, and pretty sure he didn't direct metroid prime and pikmin is nothing to wet your pants over.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:36AM Johnnynumber5 is powered by cell said

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The only people who thought it was the next big thing were the die hards. But, E3 08 solidified to them that the thing was just retarded. That little air drum session was absurd. Even Miyamoto couldn't keep a straight face during the little band session.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:37AM (Unverified) said

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He produced (and created) Pikmin (how did I know you wouldn't like that, it was the start of Nintendo's "downfall" towards the dreaded casuals), Metroid Prime, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess (he was originally the director, but ended up producing), and produced and also was the head designer of Super Mario Galaxy. He was also a senior supervisor for Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:52AM TheDarkWayne said

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I thought the lead designer for Super Mario Galaxy was Ted Price. HIYOO!!
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 7:12AM (Unverified) said

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I think someone should troll MOAR.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 8:40AM (Unverified) said

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"now I see why they called it Wii instead of revolution,motion controllers have not been the evolution every gaming magazine claimed back in 2005/6."

Already in stores: Wii MotionPlus
Coming soon: Project Natal and PlayStation Motion Controller

Yeah, motion controls will NEVER catch on.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:26AM (Unverified) said

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Wow, you guys have no creativity. This could be used to change the intensity of games based on your heartbeat, or maybe even change an avatar's expression using your heartbeat.

Of course, there's going to be generic fitness games, but like Miyamoto said, it can be used for other things.

Perhap's a new Luigi's Mansion is in the works?
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:30AM TheDarkWayne said

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come on, the wii cant even do hi def graphics, i severely doubt it has the processing power for something like that. Even if it did work it's still retarded
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:31AM (Unverified) said

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More like Luigi's Hospital.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:32AM (Unverified) said

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Unfortunately, 'could' be used for and 'are' used for seem to be very different in gaming. The Wiimote Could be used for really good games, but it's used for crapware. The EyeToy Could have been used for good games, but it was crapware. The 32X could have prevented gamers from having to upgrade their Genesis systems so fast, but it was mostly crapware.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 12:33AM Johnnynumber5 is powered by cell said

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I might put the thing on my cat to see him try and nibble it off his paw. But, even if the implementation was perfect it would still be gimmicky and retarded to wear that thing while gaming. They should use it for fitness stuff and stop the patronizing.
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Posted: Aug 4th 2009 1:01AM Roto13 said

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"come on, the wii cant even do hi def graphics, i severely doubt it has the processing power for something like that."

... Please stop commenting.
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