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Reader Comments (97)

Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:06AM KungfuSheep said

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Why does this child have a receding hairline?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:08AM Chris DPSN AggieCEO XBLThe Aggi said

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bad Genes??
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:09AM RobS the 3rd said

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His dad cut his hair?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:16AM KungfuSheep said

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Bad Genes, lol, so even Nintendo are expecting the only people to buy this product are those whose parents share the same blood?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:27AM borland502 said

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That's no child you insensitive clod! He just happens to be shorter than average with an unhealthy interest in "Barbie Horse Adventures".
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:31AM Alex R said

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Dirty old man.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:32AM KungfuSheep said

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wearing all-in-one 'jammies'? haha, my apologies!

[double post!? dont neg me bro!]
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:48AM Action Alan said

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I recognize that receding hairline from somewhere...is that Chris Grant as a child?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:52AM thisredengine Tweet me said

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As said, it appears to be a midget of some sort in a jump suit.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:10AM Kyammi said

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It's not a child. It's the one remaining Nintendo fanboy. He wears pajamas all day, he's 3 feet tall and 39 years old.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:15AM Captain Planet Planeteer Power said

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Leave the kid alone. It's not his fault his dad cut his hair with the Flowbee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhP9mSMT0OE
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:26AM Courtney said

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I though it was an Oompa Loompa. Dammit, I want an Oompa Loompa packaged with my Wii!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:56AM incubeezer said

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His hands, they're so small. Like a mouse's hands.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 12:50PM Bolts said

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That's Reggie Fils-Aime
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 4:28PM Istari Spartan said

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i thought it was a jockey
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:13PM Brendan H said

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Creepy child, or creepy dwarf?
YOU MAKE THE CALL!
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Posted: Aug 12th 2009 8:56AM STiger said

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3 feet tall? 39 years old?

...Tingle?

Also, that image on the TV reminds me of riding on a horse in Oblivion...
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Posted: Aug 16th 2009 9:18PM Scribney said

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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:07AM koehler83 said

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Don't they call that a sybian?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:07AM Danthok said

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That is with the rumble feature built in
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:59AM teamsammalone said

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I guess they didn't hear about the Harry Potter vibrating broom fiasco.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 3:46PM beatmonkey said

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Everyone knows Nintendo have to keep their new hardcore housewife user base happy somehow!

A tenner its called the Wii-F*ck
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:07AM StormEagle said

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IS THERE NO END TO THE MADNESS!?
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:29AM copa said

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History of Wii controllers:

2006: Vibrating Wand

2009: "Controller" that you straddle like you are riding a horsie, while rocking back and forth

2010: Life-size, anatomically correct Zac Ephron doll. Oh, yeah, let's throw in a button somewhere and call it a controller. How about the nose? Yeah, the nose is a button.

Any way, I wish we could figure out why Nintendo has been so successful in capturing the elusive female gamer audience.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:32AM StormEagle said

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You have one-upped me, sir.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:23AM Captain Planet Planeteer Power said

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The sad thing is Nintendoits will nut all over this and call it revolutionary and "next-gen".
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:28AM StormEagle said

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You just know at E3 next year it's going to be Reggie, Carrie and Miyamoto demoing this abomination while playing Red Steel 4 with it's new horseback riding stages and Wii Motion Super Plus and Vitality Sensor that, as long you're calm, makes your shots more dead-on.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:07AM Chris DPSN AggieCEO XBLThe Aggi said

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Dear Lord....WHEN WILL THIS END!?!?!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 5:38PM Fullmetal Salchemist said

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@cody

Creativity? It's a freakin' chair.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:08AM (Unverified) said

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I'd say that's pretty shameful, but I don't think Nintendo has any honor left to lose. That's pretty awful though.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:11AM RobS the 3rd said

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It's just a patient, people patient shit like this all the time, it's not really a big deal.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:22AM (Unverified) said

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Yeah tmac, it's really stupid to think up ideas and stuff. R&D is dumb, why even try things out?

Creativity?? PSSHH!!



Hundreds of these things are filed by ALL three companies kid.


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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:24AM Rooshma said

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Yeah, just be patient.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:24AM (Unverified) said

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It is stupid to think up ideas like that, and then to actually patent it? Good lord.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:29AM borland502 said

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"Hundreds of these things are filed by ALL three companies kid. "

Yes, but Nintendo released the Vitality sensor. Normally companies have the grace to file that shit away in a drawer somewhere, never to be seen again.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:38AM PedoJokerBear said

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hey rob what does being in a hospital have to do with any of this?!?!?!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:42AM RobS the 3rd said

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Sorry, I have bad spelling, so sue me!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:07AM mr nimblewick said

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"Yes, but Nintendo released the Vitality sensor."

Oh really? What games are you playing with it? How is it being used in them?

Do you even have any idea how it is going to be used at this point?

Seriously people, this concept is silly, but kids like silly, and kids are who it is aimed at. Plus, they haven't announced it. Just settle down.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:45AM Captain Planet Planeteer Power said

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@ mr nimblewick

Even Nintendo doesn't know what the vitality sensor is going to do!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 11:48AM borland502 said

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"Oh really? What games are you playing with it? How is it being used in them?"

I think you're the one that need to simmer down a little sparky. Of course the Vitality® is a silly little dohicky, so is the Thighmaster™. That doesn't mean it won't sell like hotcakes. And if I can enjoy metrosexual RPG master 3000 Part MCMXVII, the audience for the sensor is welcome to an endless parade of plastic crap.

But Good sir, that doesn't lesson the fact that the Vitality® sensor makes me eye this artist rendering and believe, X-Files® style, that this drawing is even now being engineered for release. The truth is out there.®
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 12:01PM (Unverified) said

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You're absolutely right tmac, you wouldn't catch a respectable company like Sony doing that!

Oh wait...

Sony:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uh8brFr1IhY/SSjQaauflzI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/5byR5H_NYYE/s400/207705-1.jpg

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/03/wand2.jpg

http://techtickerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ps3-natal.jpg

Troll moar please. For fuck's sake they're patents, get off your high horse.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 1:44PM JRMG said

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Nintendo's vitality sensor has nothing to do with gamers. It's only an add-on for Wiis in the geriatric wards.

And, yes, this...seat is a ridiculous idea.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 1:47PM borland502 said

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"...you wouldn't catch a respectable company like Sony doing that!"

Hmm, I think the point just zoomed over your head. Sure, both Microsoft and Sony patent crap all the time. But allow me to illustrate two differences:

1.) Neither released a Vitality Sensor.
2.) Goofy as spec you linked is, at least it intends to bring a peripheral with the theoretical ability to do many things. The one by Nintendo is a dedicated Saddle controller.

Nintendo has demonstrated the ability bring these dohickies to market. Well, that and the ability to make assloads of money. So remind me again why we can't point and laugh at this patent? Moreover, why can't we point and laugh and say, "well, that's Nintendo for you"? I fully expect Nintendo to come up with enough devices to make Activision feel inadequate.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:08AM Abriael said

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I seriously loved the closing line of this article :D
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:08AM Danthok said

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Nintendo is quickly losing my respect. Work on Zelda instead of coming up with this crap!
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:10AM RobS the 3rd said

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Can't they do both? I mean it's just a patient, it doesn't mean they actually are going to make this thing.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:14AM Shmil said

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There's no I in patent
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:15AM mrmobius said

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Maybe that's what they're doing - after all, riding Epona is one of the funner parts of Zelda, so they'd have to find a way to mess that up, or make it better, depending on opinion.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:16AM RobS the 3rd said

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Sorry, thank the school that never taught me how to spell words properly. It was all, "Just sound the word out." and stuff like that, so I have trouble telling when words are spelled wrong.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:56AM Snake Robot Podium said

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This IS working on Zelda! Of course it's not Wii MotionPlus only, its Horsie-Bounce exclusive.
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