It's a cruddy situation all around, but we'd like to give a small protip to young Jake: If someone starts sending you pictures of half-naked ladies, keep that to yourself.
[Via The Escapist]
It's a cruddy situation all around, but we'd like to give a small protip to young Jake: If someone starts sending you pictures of half-naked ladies, keep that to yourself.
[Via The Escapist]
Reader Comments (100)
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:07PM budboyy2k said
he probably goes to public school, so how long can you shelter a kid from sex and all of its greatness?
-/not
brett
-/not
brett
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:08PM Wiizer said
"If someone starts sending you pictures of half-naked ladies, keep that to yourself."
Don't listen to him, Jake!!! You know what a bitch your Mom is!!!
Don't listen to him, Jake!!! You know what a bitch your Mom is!!!
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:08PM GiggityGiggityGoo said
I, for one am very happy with this deal. I somehow got a free year of Blender magazine a few months ago. I've been using it for reading material in the crapper. Last week I got a Maxim magazine telling me that Blender is gone and now I'll be getting Maxim for free.
Anyway, to get back on topic, this dumb kid should have stashed it under his bed and not let his over-sensitive mom know. Even when I was 12, I had a stash of a lot worse magazines then Maxim. But it sure beats EGM.
Anyway, to get back on topic, this dumb kid should have stashed it under his bed and not let his over-sensitive mom know. Even when I was 12, I had a stash of a lot worse magazines then Maxim. But it sure beats EGM.
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 9:00AM Freak mojo said
This was me too... pleasant surprise but having Blender delivered to my work address makes the Maxim swap a little uncomfortable for humna resources :P
Reply
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:12PM BananaBoat said
What this mom doesn't know is that Maxim is geared specifically for 12 year olds. 13 year olds would scoff at the very idea of paying to see clothed women. 11 year olds would wonder why anyone would want to look at those cooty infested girls. 12 years is the sweet spot for looking at models that are about as scantily clad as any random girl on the beach.
Really though, I was just as miffed about getting Maxim in exchange for EGM as the next guy. When I finally got my refund, it was a check for 8ish dollars (I believe my subscription was for two years, though 1 year may have been free through Joystiq). If this kids mom seriously doesn't think he can handle maxim, and has decided to make a stink about it (she went to a local news station FFS. The kid has got to be embarrassed as all hell), something is amiss.
I think it's time for a little talk about the birds and the bees. Kid can't go on believing that a big bird delivers babies forever.
Really though, I was just as miffed about getting Maxim in exchange for EGM as the next guy. When I finally got my refund, it was a check for 8ish dollars (I believe my subscription was for two years, though 1 year may have been free through Joystiq). If this kids mom seriously doesn't think he can handle maxim, and has decided to make a stink about it (she went to a local news station FFS. The kid has got to be embarrassed as all hell), something is amiss.
I think it's time for a little talk about the birds and the bees. Kid can't go on believing that a big bird delivers babies forever.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:12PM Captain Planet Planeteer Power said
Dear EGM,
How dare you swap my son's EGM subscription with MAXIM. It's bad enough that I found him pleasuring himself to Lori Craft (?) last month and now he's asking questions. Questions I hope YOU are going to answer. What am I supposed to tell a 14 year old boy what a "donkey punch" is? A new game from Nintendo? Huh?
Sincerely,
Angry Mom
P.S. - My husband says thanks for the sex tips. The "mongoose eats snake" position has saved our marriage.
How dare you swap my son's EGM subscription with MAXIM. It's bad enough that I found him pleasuring himself to Lori Craft (?) last month and now he's asking questions. Questions I hope YOU are going to answer. What am I supposed to tell a 14 year old boy what a "donkey punch" is? A new game from Nintendo? Huh?
Sincerely,
Angry Mom
P.S. - My husband says thanks for the sex tips. The "mongoose eats snake" position has saved our marriage.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:22PM ArchiGamer said
I'm still lost on how to perform the Two Sided Backflip-Spread Eagle, Donkey Punch Reversal position...
Reply
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 9:50PM The Blank Mage Returns said
Use crouch to get through tight spaces.
Reply
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 8:28AM xGeneral DEATHxDEETH82 said
Cap, the slaying continues. +1.
P.s. I want to be a Planeteer...I'm from SC and have the power of Death and Degradation (physical AND metaphorical).
Reply
P.s. I want to be a Planeteer...I'm from SC and have the power of Death and Degradation (physical AND metaphorical).
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:19PM ArchiGamer said
Hmm.....keep the mag or tell mom....hmm.....mag or mom, mag or mom, mag, or mom......hmm, decisions, decisions.....
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:35PM R Planteer said
They really should have told people that they were doing a swap. My first issue of Maxium came on a day that my girlfriend was visting and she was none too pleased. To make matters worse, the first issue I got was actually the second one I was supposed to get, so it didnt have the little notice sticker on it. I was in the doghouse for a good 3 days over it.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:46PM R Planteer said
I know. where's that bitch Gaia when I need her to help me out. All these years of pulsating my penis for her and my power gets stripped away by a crappy magazine.
Damn you.
Reply
Damn you.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:43PM miquonranger03 said
This mom is just a moron. Call them up and ask for a refund. The call takes 5 minutes and you get a check in the mail for the rest of the subscription.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:43PM Mayne Event said
When I read the last line, I knew it was Justin who'd written the article (usually I don't check the byline 'till after I've read the article). Props.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:46PM neoXmahi said
Good for his mom. The last thing the world needs are more peds, rapists, kidnappers and sex offenders. This is were it all starts. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS! YOU'RE OPINION OF ME IS WORTHLESS AND NO ONE WILL EVER CARE SO SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT! It is possbile for a man to lead a happy and successful life, avoiding all this crap. Joystiq, I think you have better things to report on and better ways to spend your time than promoting and advertising this crap. The United States is already struggling with these problems, and they wonder why. Patheitc.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 9:36PM TheDarkWayne said
Too bad most of the time the fucked up people are the ones completely deprived of this stuff
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Posted: Aug 12th 2009 8:30AM xGeneral DEATHxDEETH82 said
Agreed with everyone except NeoMahi...sure, if you can avoid your natural human urges all your life, be my guest. The rest of us aren't kidding ourselves. Typically it's the sheltered people who end up being sicko's because of their distance/disconnection to the world around them.
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Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:46PM neoXmahi said
Even if this is bogus crap that Joystiq posts, its all still the same.
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 7:49PM jhowlett said
maxim has articles about games
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 8:33PM ch3burashka said
Ahhh...
Wait, what were we talking about?
Wait, what were we talking about?
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 9:19PM (Unverified) said
Boobs... heh
Posted: Aug 11th 2009 10:40PM shadowhowl1900 said
@mom,
ur son has probably seen and heard worse things on television compared to that magazine.
ur son has probably seen and heard worse things on television compared to that magazine.
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 5:49AM (Unverified) said
I'm from Argentina and was suscribed to EGM. I received a Maxim issue last week. WTF??? GF problems!! They canceled the suscription after I email them.
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 6:48AM (Unverified) said
If you guys are having GF problems from getting maxim delivered, then you are either still in high school or dating women who's mentality still is.
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 7:59AM (Unverified) said
@John
No even close.
I'm 31. We live together. The magazine was left at the door front, so, every neighbour knows that I'm suscribed to Maxim. How cool is that?
Beside Maxim magazine from USA is like comics books compared to Maxim here in Argentina. Full nudity someone?
And watch out what you said about my GF :@
Reply
No even close.
I'm 31. We live together. The magazine was left at the door front, so, every neighbour knows that I'm suscribed to Maxim. How cool is that?
Beside Maxim magazine from USA is like comics books compared to Maxim here in Argentina. Full nudity someone?
And watch out what you said about my GF :@
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 8:01AM (Unverified) said
@John
No even close.
I'm 31. We live together. The magazine was left at the door front,
so, every neighbour knows that I'm suscribed to Maxim. How cool is
that?
Beside Maxim magazine from USA is like comics books compared to Maxim
here in Argentina. Full nudity someone?
And watch out what you said about my GF :@
Reply
No even close.
I'm 31. We live together. The magazine was left at the door front,
so, every neighbour knows that I'm suscribed to Maxim. How cool is
that?
Beside Maxim magazine from USA is like comics books compared to Maxim
here in Argentina. Full nudity someone?
And watch out what you said about my GF :@
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 8:02AM (Unverified) said
If your girlfriend is threatened by a magazine, she has serious trust issues.
Reply
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 9:17AM (Unverified) said
She is not threatened. It's about the people who lives in the building. You don't know how people are in Argentina.
Reply
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 2:21PM DarknessBear said
Woah woah woah. Do you not know who you are talking to?! That is JOHN! He has 18 wives and has lived in every country at least twice. He also owns four small islands. Never question Johns words...he is John.
Reply
Posted: Aug 13th 2009 1:42AM (Unverified) said
Actually, we weren't allowed to leave the ship when we docked in Argentina, so I don't know. I do however have very close Venezualen (I can't spell is that right?)family as friends of the family, and they seem the think the more of a man whore a man is, the more of a man he is, so, I can't see where looking at a magazine that shows boobie being so bad.
Reply
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 7:24AM whylekat said
Whoa whoa whoa! EGM no longer exsists?? Nooooooo!!
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 9:57AM Gemini Ace said
Maxim is leaps and bounds above Playboy.
Also, does the mother not own a trash can?
Also, does the mother not own a trash can?
Posted: Aug 13th 2009 7:09AM (Unverified) said
....AAAAAAAAAnd here comes Roto, champion of "exploited" women everywhere with his/her super power of passive-aggressive whining.
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Posted: Aug 12th 2009 12:03PM Trojan said
I can definitely understand the parent's concerns. Those are not equivalent in terms of being appropriate for young children (although there are plenty of things in videogame magazines that aren't exactly kid-friendly).
Posted: Aug 12th 2009 11:10PM (Unverified) said
*faps*
Posted: Aug 14th 2009 1:17AM (Unverified) said
Her son is going to end up . . . Gay.
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