We, the Biomass, have little conflict about the game that is Batman: Arkham Asylum. We are, in large part, pleased by its every contour. Our Whiskey Jak face says, "Seriously one of the great games of 2009, awesome production value (à la COD4) and great, proven gameplay (I prefer a good mix of proven gameplay with smart design choices that make sense rather than the 'über-innovative, immersive, awesome new feature' that doesn't really work)."

It combines the dark atmosphere of BioShock with the slick combat of Assassin's Creed, while at the same time being better than both of them.

ResidentEvil72501-face shares the enthusiasm of his brother-self: "So far it is an excellent game. It combines the dark atmosphere of BioShock with the slick combat of Assassins Creed, while at the same time being better than both of them. You really feel like Batman and it is definitely the best game this year."

Perhaps the Batman's greatest feature is his "Invisible Predator" mode, which allows him to silently eliminate armed soldiers piecemeal. El Punisher's face presses through our grotesque epidermis to say, "I find that stalking my prey gives me the most pleasure out of everything the game already offers. Sitting perched up high upon a gargoyle's head and picking off villains one by one ... it just ... it just makes me giggle like a six-year-old girl. Every time I strike, I scream in a fit of joy." Your screams pain us, Punisher! They pain us!

Though we had an emotion approximating single-face love for the demo, even those of us who were unconvinced enjoyed the full product. "I have to say the game went in a direction I did not expect, just thought it would be a lot of shooting or fighting but there seems to be a balance of puzzles and combat. It kept pulling me along and I hard a hard time putting it down." You may wonder why the PC-Max face thought a Batman game would involve "a lot of shooting." We would remind you that questioning the logic of a beast with 323,000 brains is nothing short of insolence.

Despite our shared pleasure, some of our faces had small quibbles. Holyice7 made his known: "My only problem with it is that the camera doesn't seem to know what it's supposed to be doing. Arkham is big and beautiful, but there's a lot more action going on at any given moment. I'm glad they want us to see what Batman's seeing with that whole over-the-shoulder bit, but I find the camera to be way better when he's crouched or running, as it zooms out just the right amount to let you see what's all around you, without that big, tall cowl taking up the entire left half of the screen." Considering that Holyice7 is part of a beast with 12 million eyes, you can imagine how taxing this is.

Though most faces thought it a satisfying meal, some found little more than collation! "While I enjoyed the game it ended very quickly," said the PharoahSteve face. "I don't know if that because I've never been much of a completionist so I just grabbed the riddles as I saw them, but nonetheless I completed this in about eight hours."

Perhaps the feeling deep within our 17 hearts is best described as something like single-face relief; relief that the "Man That is Also Bat" is in a game worthy of his standing. "Finally a Batman game that is not only a good Batman game but a great game on it's own," said the face of Mark. "Awesome. [Single tear.]"

Yes, Arkham Asylum has the power to illicit emotion from an unfeeling, million-faced beast. We will now leave you to meditate on this revelation.