To: Jeff Bukovinski, head of Rockstar marketing
NARRATION V.O. COPY FOR BEATERATOR PROMO, FIRST DRAFT:
"Do you have an awful friend named Jason who's constantly tapping on stuff and making your life a waking hell? Well, now you can put Beaterator into his awful stupid hands for a few, precious moments of respite from his oppressive tooliness.
But be forewarned, at the end of your brief reprieve, Jason, swollen with grotesque pride, will return with his miserable creation, and force you to listen to it repeatedly in its entirety, providing the final impetus you need to shear off his awful haircut and smother him with it.
Beaterator: It'll make you kill your friends!"