Tired of boycotts? Donate money and fly Gabe Newell to Australia! [update]
by Ben Gilbert 
{ Sep 11th 2009 at 12:20PM } 
Valve's Gabe Newell has been getting all kissy-face with the Left 4 Dead 2 boycott leaders recently, and one man is (jokingly) mad as hell about it. Enter Brisbane, Australia resident "Joe W-A," entrepreneurial Left 4 Dead campaign modder and buddy of Gabe Newell, who recently started a (presumably) tongue-in-cheek blog to collect donations based on an email exchange with the Valve Software head.
"Joe W-A": Why the hell haven't I been flown to Valve? I mean, you guys need to preview my campaign."
Newell: We are boycotting your campaign.
"Joe W-A": Does that mean I have to fly you here?
Newell: Me and Erik [Johnson, Valve project manager].
And just like that, donations started piling in. Though we've contacted "Joe W-A" for more accurate numbers, our calculations put the dollar amount just over $700 as of this morning. He assures readers that if Newell and Johnson do in fact back out from visiting, he'll refund as much as possible and donate anything left to Penny Arcade's Child's Play charity. We know it's selfish, but the YouTube video that "Joe -W-A" promises to create of the visit has us hoping that Newell and Johnson will go through with it. We've asked Gabe Newell for comment and will update this post when we hear back.
[Via Rock, Paper, Shotgun]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
SpyderTaco (PSN: Ar4chNova89) @ Sep 11th 2009 12:23PM
Here come the "he requires 2 seats" jokes...
uncle jesse @ Sep 11th 2009 12:37PM
Seats?! No, no seats.
http://www.iaapa.org/industry/funworld/2004/oct04/Features/HomeComing/images/killerwhale.jpg
Kidding! I hope this happens, the video could be sweet.
Burns11 @ Sep 11th 2009 3:07PM
You're too late with the flying whale joke, note the drawing on the wall in the picture.
Apollo @ Sep 11th 2009 12:24PM
Let me get this one out of the way so we don't get the little toddlers starting theirs:
"But how will a plane be able to hold all of Gabe?" har har
SpyderTaco (PSN: Ar4chNova89) @ Sep 11th 2009 12:28PM
I hate planes.
Alton Brown [ XBL: LordToastington, Soon-To-Be-PSN: OrIsItAltonBrown] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:27PM
Francis hates airplanes.
Brian @ Sep 11th 2009 12:29PM
Francis hates boycotts.
Captain Planet [Planeteer | Power of Captain Planet] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:31PM
Keep up with the fat jokes but know that Gabe makes sweet love to your mothers every night while you sleep.
sc00by_y00 @ Sep 11th 2009 12:46PM
w**king over a picture of our mums isnt the same as making sweet love to our mums.. /me shudders at the thought
Captain Planet [Planeteer | Power of Captain Planet] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:49PM
You're right but that's just what Gabe calls foreplay. The primer before he makes you a new baby brother.
Victor @ Sep 11th 2009 12:34PM
I would so keep the money for myself...
I'm a douche :(
Wiizer ($299) Having BC On Your Launch Console? (Priceless) @ Sep 11th 2009 12:43PM
I think we can all agree on that... the douche part.
ripslymemc @ Sep 11th 2009 1:29PM
I hope you're weren't planning to get upvoted for that.
We're not all selfish dicks.
Victor @ Sep 11th 2009 6:16PM
It was a joke, but nevermind that!
Thief @ Sep 11th 2009 12:36PM
I'd like to meet Gabe (and Eric I guess). I'm particularly fond of their games... however i'm too cheap to fly them here.
AsherR [Planeteer | Power of The Hoff] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:41PM
I wonder if Gabe would be interested in flying to Alabama.. I'd totally fly him here if i could get a job interview. :P
Captain Planet [Planeteer | Power of Captain Planet] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:47PM
I'm having problems with your Planeteer Power AsherR. Everytime you call out your Power, Hasselhoff seems to appear out of fucking no where. While the 'Hoff' is a extremely powerful elemental force, I can't stand the singing and the the high-fiving.
Space @ Sep 11th 2009 1:25PM
Alabama.....or paradise?
PedoJokerBear [Planeteer | Power of Gall Bladder] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:47PM
i got ammo for fat jokes here!
AsherR [Planeteer | Power of The Hoff] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:51PM
Allow me to sooth your displeasure with something that you won't be able to help but love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FhR8ID7K_M
AsherR [Planeteer | Power of The Hoff] @ Sep 11th 2009 12:53PM
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeply fail. That reply is directed to Cap obviously.
But you all should love it.
And actually it relates somewhat to the article. In that I want that song to play on a juke box in L4D2. Gabe, MAKE IT SO!
Captain Planet [Planeteer | Power of Captain Planet] @ Sep 11th 2009 1:21PM
Okay, I'm going to allow your Power only because Gaia seems to have the hots (Hoffs?) for him.
The Baron @ Sep 11th 2009 1:54PM
I think he slips a disc at 0:57
AsherR [Planeteer | Power of The Hoff] @ Sep 11th 2009 2:03PM
Well Captain, I had such a lame power before (Power of Lightning), in comparison to everyone else. While Lightning is an awesome ability, it lacked the zest and flare that the Hoff brings.
Benjamin Heckendorn @ Sep 11th 2009 1:02PM
RE the boycotters - who cares? L4D was kind of a slim experience itself, and every other company makes new games every year. Are they going to boycott Call of Duty next? Or Rock Band / Guitar Hero? Madden?
This next part will sound dumb, but people that want to just play a single game for YEARS are boring. I have a friend like that - he'll never play Arkum Asylum, inFamous, Uncharted, Fallout 3 etc because they don't have the words "Call" or "Duty" in the title.
It's like someone who claims to be a movie lover but just watches "2001" over and over.
Space @ Sep 11th 2009 1:38PM
most people that play games are like that though. Which is why CoD, Halo, and GTA sales are ridiculous and LBP pales in comparison. Most people don't like games as a whole, they don't appreciate new ideas or gameplay... they just like a few titles comprised of a few things they already know.
Phillip @ Sep 11th 2009 1:46PM
"Are they going to boycott Call of Duty next? Or Rock Band / Guitar Hero? Madden?"
That's an incredibly good point you have there!
Space @ Sep 11th 2009 2:09PM
lets take call of duty out of that list that game is handled by two studios both of which do a very good job at what they do.
The Baron @ Sep 11th 2009 2:36PM
Yeah, but they do it each year in an identical fashion.
NintendoJunkie @ Sep 11th 2009 5:55PM
WHAT?! You mean no comments yet about how much Valve sucks that they haven't released updates/new maps for The Orange Box for the 360?
*is shocked!*
borland502 (SDF Macross) @ Sep 11th 2009 1:08PM
Valve, it's an interesting company. They rescued PC game sales, furnish awesome games, and tend to be more community focused than most other publishers and developers.
However, they are also the corporation that has a Sony level ego and saves itself from Duke Nukem scorn only by our faith in the final product. Christ, talk about a 10 year release cycle. No wonder they avoid the PS3, they'd have to design for its successor.
Longhorn Slim @ Sep 11th 2009 1:15PM
Can we fly him to a gym.....nevermind I don't think the plane would be able to fly anyways
ripslymemc @ Sep 11th 2009 1:30PM
FUCK YOU
Special Agent Steve @ Sep 11th 2009 11:02PM
Yes, because Gabe is only a fat man and nothing more. It's not like he helps produce some of the best games that keep the PC gaming market afloat; just focus on the fact that he's overweight.
Real, the fuck, mature.
Anthony @ Sep 14th 2009 2:18PM
Maybe he was just suggesting that Gabe stay healthy so he can continue to produce excellent games like Left4Dead 2. Or maybe he was just being a meanie. I vote for the former.
Ryan @ Sep 11th 2009 1:28PM
Hmm, so boycotting L4D2 brings Newell to Australia. Effectively halting Episode 3.
Yeah, this is going to be good.
Captain Planet [Planeteer | Power of Captain Planet] @ Sep 11th 2009 1:32PM
You fuckers keep bugging Gabe and he'll never get Episode 3 done.
Misframed @ Sep 11th 2009 1:57PM
Did anyone else notice that it says "I miss Twitter" on the wall?
BPMOmega [XBL, PSN, Steam] @ Sep 11th 2009 2:13PM
Whoa, it does. That wasn't originally there, was it? Maybe it was a texture added in a patch. Or a custom spray.
MrSpaceCowboy @ Sep 11th 2009 7:32PM
If Twitter went away, I certainly wouldn't miss it.
ducttapeBigSexy @ Sep 11th 2009 2:04PM
Thanks for proving that, once again, Valve is a lazy developer. Instead of actually spending time making L4D2 worthwhile (or at least half as enjoyable as Nazi Zombies), they'd rather spend time fighting PR fires.
If Newell wasted less time (spending time with L4D2 boycotters, complaining about how difficult the PS3 is to develop for, getting sign language into the Source engine), maybe we'd have a decent sequel to L4D, or maybe Half Life Episode 3 or Portal 2 would actually have been released by now. Or maybe he would have hired an external development team to port Valve games to PS3.
PC gamers, commence down voting me for insulting your extremely overrated god.
Alton Brown [ XBL: LordToastington, Soon-To-Be-PSN: OrIsItAltonBrown] @ Sep 11th 2009 2:13PM
Played L4D2 at PAX. It's 1000x better than Nazi Zombies.
BPMOmega [XBL, PSN, Steam] @ Sep 11th 2009 2:14PM
Bugging Gabe Newell != affecting the actual developers
ducttapeBigSexy @ Sep 11th 2009 2:42PM
@Alton Brown
I'll admit, I haven't played L4D2 yet, but I have played L4D. So...
Given: L4D2 = L4D (one of the main points of the boycotts)
Given: Nazi Zombies > L4D
Therefore: Nazi Zombies > L4D2
What I find amazing is that Valve spent 3 years developing L4D, and it's still not as good as a mini game developed by Treyarch. Yes, I just said Treyarch is better than Valve.
The Dark Wayne @ Sep 11th 2009 3:08PM
You know, Gabe's job is pretty much the PR stuff. Contrary to what you may believe, he isnt the one slapping the keyboard like Live Free or Die Hard to maek teh gaemz, so it doesnt really matter if he does this. BTW sign language in source is awesome
rabbler78 @ Sep 11th 2009 5:18PM
@ductape def agree with your original post, all this crap is is PR fluff so the average gamer forgets how bland this sequel is.
ducttapeBigSexy @ Sep 13th 2009 3:49PM
Yeah, I'm not quite sure why I got voted down - clearly, there's enough people who think L4D2 will be lame that Valve is forced to fight PR fires.
And, I still stand by my point that Valve is extremely overrated, and I really don't understand why everyone shoots their load for them. All they make are sequels to an 11 year old game, a zombie game (Nazi Zombies is still far better), and hired people who came up with the concept for Portal. Which, although fun, I still don't understand how people thought it was a revolution in gameplay - Prey had portals in it, too, and no one cared...
Heck, even their games are crippled in horrible DRM, but they're except from criticism over that for some odd reason, unlike developers who use other forms of copy protection (product activation (aka Steam), that's fine, but SecuROM might not work with my 15 year old CD drive, OMG BOYCOTT!)
Spartan [Planeteer | Power of Sunshine & Lollipops] @ Sep 11th 2009 6:24PM
Why is his health so low inside the saferoom?
And why is there a bullet missing form the handgun?
Hmmm.
Roger @ Sep 11th 2009 6:50PM
Hate to play on the whole fat thing but most airlines might not allow him if he's over 300. He might pass if he's under but it depends. My knowledge in the matter isn't quite that large.
But if this happens; there might be a chance for Newell to get revenge on Yahtzee.
njerickson @ Sep 11th 2009 9:45PM
You don't need donations to convince peoples to come to Australia, you need money to make them leave. Now considering everybody is throwing around boycotts like confetti ....
I BOYCOTT ALL MESSAGES BELOW THIS LINE!
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