JBO: Joystiq Box Office, September 22 - September 25
by Kevin Kelly 
{ Sep 25th 2009 at 9:45PM } 
We can't be gaming all the time, despite our best efforts, and from time to time we'll actually take advantage of the movie-playing abilities on our gaming systems. JBO features our top picks for XBL, PSN, Netflix's Watch Instantly and Blu-ray each week.
This week marks the start of Fantastic Fest at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX, where this writer will be embedded for the next week. It's a celebration of movies in the vein of geek: sci-fi, horror, anime, weird Asian cult movies and more. With that in mind, we're skewing this week's Joystiq Box Office towards the weird.
Recommendation of the Week:
Ong Bak 2 (Xbox Live Marketplace: 1200
($15) HD, 800 ($10) SD to buy)
How do you train an orphan to survive? By kicking him into a murky pit full of alligators. If he can survive that, he'll have no problem with the rest of life. That's just the opening scene. The rest of the movie is full of martial arts action, including stunts involving herds of elephants. It's beautifully shot, full of action set in ancient Thailand and goes above and beyond your typical Hollywood fare. Directed, written and starring Tony Jaa, it confusingly has nothing to do with Ong Bak: Muy Thay Warrior. Too bad they didn't give it another name, but rest assured you don't need to see that movie to enjoy this one. In fact, only see that before this if you want to confuse yourself. It's a bit more expensive because it's exclusive online to the Xbox 360 and just hitting theaters as well.
Read for the full list on a system-by-system basis just after the break, where you'll also find a special trailer for Ong Bak 2 to help convince you that you need to give it a shot. As usual, we'll see you at the popcorn st -- well, actually, we won't see you at all. But you catch our drift. Plus, be sure to tell us what you'll be watching, or what you've seen recently that bowled you over.
This week marks the start of Fantastic Fest at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX, where this writer will be embedded for the next week. It's a celebration of movies in the vein of geek: sci-fi, horror, anime, weird Asian cult movies and more. With that in mind, we're skewing this week's Joystiq Box Office towards the weird.
Recommendation of the Week:
Ong Bak 2 (Xbox Live Marketplace: 1200 ($15) HD, 800 ($10) SD to buy)How do you train an orphan to survive? By kicking him into a murky pit full of alligators. If he can survive that, he'll have no problem with the rest of life. That's just the opening scene. The rest of the movie is full of martial arts action, including stunts involving herds of elephants. It's beautifully shot, full of action set in ancient Thailand and goes above and beyond your typical Hollywood fare. Directed, written and starring Tony Jaa, it confusingly has nothing to do with Ong Bak: Muy Thay Warrior. Too bad they didn't give it another name, but rest assured you don't need to see that movie to enjoy this one. In fact, only see that before this if you want to confuse yourself. It's a bit more expensive because it's exclusive online to the Xbox 360 and just hitting theaters as well.
Xbox Live Video Marketplace (Xbox 360)
Tokyo Zombie (480 HD, 320 SD to rent)What do you do when you're a hard working employee in Tokyo and you accidentally kill your annoying boss? You bury him in a landfill, of course. However, when that landfill ends up turning him into a zombie, you're in for some serious overtime. Overtime that involves a lot of zombie-killing and saving your own butt. Thankfully, the Japanese have had a lot of experience dealing with monsters. They just tend to be a lot bigger that these. Sadly, no zombie killing electronic gadgets yet existed in Tokyo when this movie was made. Just wait, they'll eventually be shipping them over here, and it'll be a must-have item when the zombie apocalypse happens.
Netflix Watch Instantly (Mac/PC or Xbox Live, subscription required: starts at $8.99 per month)
ChocolateNot to be confused with the Johnny Depp / Juliette Binoche movie that's missing the "e" at the end, this Chocolate is actually about a young autistic girl who learns how to become a one-woman kung-fu machine by watching old Bruce Lee movies. You might not be able to have a conversation with her, but you can set her loose on 12 advancing henchmen and she'll take them all down in moments. Plus, as indicated by the title, she's addicted to these little M&M candy clones that come in cardboard tubes. Either it's a hell of a sugar rush, or this girl has some kind bizarre ability to channel Bruce Lee. Either way, it's chopsockolatey.
PlayStation Store (PlayStation 3 or PSP)
Crank 2: High Voltage ($2.99 HD, $1.99 SD to rent)Hitman for hire Chev Chelios had it pretty tough the first time around. Someone slipped inside his apartment and injected him with a custom-made Chinese virus that made him have to run around pell-mell to keep his heart above a certain amount of beats per minute, or else he'd die. Then he freefalls out of a helicopter into downtown Los Angeles and bounces off of a taxicab. How do you follow that up? Well, no shocker, but Chev survives. This time his superheart has been stolen and replaced with an electrical version that he has to keep juiced up ... or else he'll die. It's a tough life, and he finds some novel ways to stay electrified. Be sure and catch the 8-bit credit sequences.
Blu-ray Disc (PlayStation 3)
The Good, The Bad, and The Weird ($26.98 SRP, lower at many retailers)Get ready to be angry. While this is technically a Blu-ray because it's available in Region B, it won't play in North American PS3s. Unless you've done some kind of techno-magic to it. So unless you have a region-free player, you'll need to enjoy this in "Africa, Southwest Asia, Europe (except Russia), Oceania, and their dependencies." This is unfortunate because It looks spectacular in Blu-ray, but thankfully a normal DVD release is available. It's a Korean film that was inspired by Sergio Leone's classic The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. In this, the Good, the Bad, and the Weird are chasing a treasure map, so it's not a huge change, but the action is extreme at times, and you're going to come out of this loving the Weird. Trust me.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
dunbar256 @ Sep 25th 2009 9:55PM
Excellent. I loved Ong Bak. It's the only movie I've seen where someone uses a refrigerator as a weapon.
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Sep 25th 2009 10:14PM
Watchmen?
dunbar256 @ Sep 25th 2009 10:18PM
Never saw the movie. Who uses the fridge?
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Sep 25th 2009 10:35PM
Rorschach shoves Moloch into it, and interrogates him, after he breaks into his apartment.
dunbar256 @ Sep 25th 2009 10:36PM
Ah, of course. Good call. Love that scene from the comic...sorry, graphic novel.
Deadpool @ Sep 26th 2009 1:17AM
I think Jackie Chan used a refrigerator in Rumble in the Bronx.
Riley @ Sep 26th 2009 2:36AM
Indiana Jones used one as a weapon against common sense
Obi-Habby @ Sep 27th 2009 11:07AM
@Riley
Your comment cracked me up so much. Only thing worse in Crystal Skull was when Shia was swinging in the trees with the monkeys during that car chase scene.
Wardo @ Sep 25th 2009 9:55PM
Ong Bak was awesome but I really did not like Ong Bak 2.
CheeziePotato (PSN: talic10 | XBL: InfiniteMovie) @ Sep 25th 2009 9:57PM
I like movies
moria @ Sep 25th 2009 10:19PM
I got this movie about a month from thai. it is an action martial arts movie all the way. THIS MOVIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FIRST ONG BAK!!!!!!!!! just keep that in mind. pretend the main charecter is another great thai worrior from antther time and place. thats how this movie is. same actor but different story place and time. just enjoy the fucking fighting .. lol
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Sep 25th 2009 10:15PM
District 9. Holy crap.
dunbar256 @ Sep 25th 2009 10:22PM
No kidding. Fabulous movie.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 25th 2009 11:20PM
It's up there for me in terms of near-future sci-fi with Children of Men. Holy crap, those movies are good. I still liked Children of Men slightly more, but District 9 was great. Looking forward to the possible sequel!
Maverick Saturn (Igor) @ Sep 25th 2009 11:37PM
Liked district 9 for its originality, but children of men was just exactly what I would want to see from a post apocalyptic movie :O Was hands down, superb.
Nobledevil @ Sep 26th 2009 12:23AM
I actually just rented the Blu-Ray of Children of Men; good lord is that a great film.
A middling-to-terrible Blu-Ray release, but a great film.
dunbar256 @ Sep 26th 2009 12:40AM
Shanti Shanti Shanti
Riley @ Sep 26th 2009 2:39AM
+1 for Children of Men
haven't seen D9 yet, though it's the next movie I want to see (damn you, unemployment!)
Douche Bigalow @ Sep 26th 2009 4:46AM
District 9 was great, mostly because the 'message' the director tried to get across was quickly abandoned in favor of good buddy action and sci-fi weapon fights.
Children of Men is just womb worship. Plus it has the worst actress of all time, Juliane Moore (okay there are actually worse actresses, but Moore is particularly annoying because people for some reason think she's good).
Ignatius @ Sep 26th 2009 12:18PM
Children of Men's ending was probably the worst cliffhanger/middle-finger I've ever seen. Good tragic movie... absolutely atrocious ending.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 26th 2009 3:36PM
@Douche Bigalow: Yeah, there's nothing special or amazing about women carrying and giving life to whole new human beings. :P Hey man, if anything should be worshiped, it IS the womb!
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Sep 26th 2009 10:25PM
@Saria
To be fair though, maybe you're slightly biased?
MystileArmor @ Sep 25th 2009 10:36PM
I heard some bad reviews for Crank 2, but I actually enjoyed it. You gotta have seen the first one somewhat recently though, cause it's really a direct sequel.
Enosoma @ Sep 25th 2009 11:04PM
The first Ong Bak was great. Tony Jaa is incredible.
I sharted when I saw the trailer for Ong Bak 2.
Rein [Prime Minister of the city-state of New Bjork] @ Sep 25th 2009 11:06PM
Don't know if this has ever been suggested (or if I've suggested it myself), but there's a great SF movie on Netflix called The Man From Earth. It's about a college professor who finally tells his colleagues that he's an ancient caveman who can't seem to die. It's one of those movies where everything happens while nothing happens.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 25th 2009 11:18PM
Whoa, that sounds awesome! Added to my instant queue.
Rein [Prime Minister of the city-state of New Bjork] @ Sep 25th 2009 11:19PM
Sweet! Tell me what you think of it whenever you get around to it.
Fx.Dr @ Sep 25th 2009 11:32PM
Good call, I was just thinking about this flick. Some of the acting was pretty spotty at points, but considering the movie is nothing but dialog it's totally forgivable.
waynski1457 @ Sep 25th 2009 11:12PM
Fuck yeah all of this list is awesome! I loved the first Ong Bak, so I'm sure I'll love the second despite having nothing in common besides Tony Jaa's involvement.
Another weird movie I want to recommend is Big Man Japan. It's on Netflix WI so take a look when you get the chance. It's good.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 25th 2009 11:16PM
Not sure if you've recommended this yet, Kevin, but I recently saw Delicatessen on Netflix Instant, and it was amazing. I'd recommend it to any fan of Amelie (though this movie does NOT have the same mood), cannibalism, or Sweeney Todd. The movie is dark, gory, creepy, and French. WATCH IT.
Reuben @ Sep 25th 2009 11:53PM
I JUST saw that movie! I have fallen in love with those two directors, unfortunately I cannot think of either of their names (Carro comes to mind.) I loved Amilee.
If you enjoyed that, than you must watch City of Lost Children. Same directors, and it's in the same vein, but it is brilliant and quite funny.
Markez @ Sep 25th 2009 11:58PM
Just added it, although mentioning Amelie in the same sentence has me a little hesitant :P
I recently went through a binge of adding things to my instant queue that were suggested to me by Netflix, and it has been a rather mixed bag. Cash Back was not bad, Deadgirl however, was remarkably awful yet somehow passable. I don't know if Netflix thinks I'm depraved or what, but I felt a little better after it suggested a collection of shorts from Pixar.
I just wish all of Arrested Development and Dexter were available via instant watch :( Also, for how much I loved Jericho I'm incredulous that it managed to be canceled twice.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 26th 2009 12:02AM
@Markez: I only mention Amelie because Delicatessen shares its director. The two movies are far from similar in both tone and content, though. The only thing I think that's similar is the attention to detail and the very distinct, quirky characterization. As for Netflix recommending things, I get wacky stuff recommended all the time. Right now, it wants to shove "Critically-acclaimed, Mind-bending movies" down my throat, whatever that means.
Markez @ Sep 26th 2009 12:10AM
Yeah, after we burned through all 5 seasons of Alias the only damn thing Netflix would keep suggesting to me were spy dramas and crime shows. Deadgirl is the most disturbing 'zombie' movie I've ever seen, if you can really even call it that.
After reading the description and watching it anyway I can't help but hear that sound bit from Groundskeeper Willy saying "I warned ye, didna I warn ye!?"
Trickob @ Sep 26th 2009 2:45AM
I am slightly weirded out that you and my wife made the same comparisons to District 9 and Children of Men (except that my wife enjoyed D9 slightly more)
I guess it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise; they do have a lot in common. And they are both wonderful movies.
@markez
thank you for making me smile with the GW quote :)
mgsrocks1 @ Sep 26th 2009 4:17AM
Hey Saria, have you seen the movie Pan's Labyrinth? If you haven't watched yet you definitely should! I streamed online on Netflix a couple of weeks ago but I'm not sure if they still have it up for streaming. And thanks for reminding about Children of Men. I remember watching only part of that movie. Enjoy :)
Saria the Cat @ Sep 26th 2009 4:35AM
@mgsrocks1: I've seen Pan's Labyrinth several times --- and in the theaters! :D Children of Men + Pan's Labyrinth + others make 2006 the best year for movies for me. So far no other year has contained so many good movies at once. Thanks for recommending it, though. It's definitely one of my top movies. If you liked Pan's Labyrinth, you should try the Orphanage, a Spanish movie presented by Guillermo but not directed by. It's fucking spooky, but great. Also, the Devil's Backbone is a good one which IS directed by him.
Saria the Cat @ Sep 26th 2009 4:37AM
@Trickbob: I just think your wife has great taste in movies, is all. ;)
Kevin Kelly @ Sep 26th 2009 9:58AM
Saria,
It's one of my favorite movies. I hung onto the VHS for years because a DVD version wasn't available for so long. Love Jeunet and Caro. City of Lost Children is probably my fave of theirs, with Amelie a close second. But the weirdness of Delicatessen is charming. I want one of those tools the guy in that had, I think he called it "The Australian."
Saria the Cat @ Sep 26th 2009 3:34PM
Kevin, I moved City of Lost Children to the top of my queue!
JNub @ Sep 28th 2009 9:06AM
Amelie is one of my favorite films,used to watch it with my ex as it is her fav film..that 'look' audrey tautou pulls is so sexy,watched d9 yesterday thought it was cool was real heavy on the rasicism though!
MLS @ Sep 25th 2009 11:31PM
Can you keep movies you buy on XBLM, or only rent them?
Maverick Saturn (Igor) @ Sep 25th 2009 11:35PM
Ong Bak is legend, crank 2 is legend, watch both :D
But only if you like action.
Clavius @ Sep 25th 2009 11:50PM
Ong Bak 2 is epic, and I pray to the gods that they don't edit it to hell in a "American" version. The trailer they shown with the narrative really doesn't do the film justice at all. I hope it comes out in theaters nationally sooner rather than later. Also um Fedor's um plug.. yeah.. they should of skipped it.
Crank 2, if you didnt see or like the first one just skip it. If you loved it then its more of the same and waaaay over the top and pushes further what the first film did. Also a great cameo in there to and I wont spoil it.
Chocolate is just... WOW! Simple story that is very sweet but its the action that carries this movie from begining to end. I highly recommend this to any fan of action.
Nobledevil @ Sep 26th 2009 12:14AM
I agree totally about Chocolate. The story is very heartwarming and heartbreaking at times, and that girl kicks some ASS.
I've heard people say the action is "mediocre," but they can bite me. I was very entertained throughout.
Markez @ Sep 26th 2009 12:00AM
Aside from Old Boy, which is great, the other two of the director's movies in the 'revenge trilogy' are available on instant; Lady Vengeance, and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance.
Hoping to watch this weekend.
Levi (God Hand Defense Force) @ Sep 26th 2009 6:33AM
All three are awesome movies.
Nobledevil @ Sep 26th 2009 12:12AM
*turns his head and looks at his Ong Bak 2 DVD*
Yes... exclusive to 360.
Darkness @ Sep 26th 2009 12:35AM
Um it does have something to do with the first movie.... if your smart enough to put it together.... gues im the only one so far
Kaioh @ Sep 26th 2009 2:16AM
@Darkness;
You're not the only one. The movie states that he is the ancestor of the character from the first movie. They did that just to use the Ong Bak title again, though.
I enjoyed the film. Looking forward to a third one, should they make it.
I recommend the Revenge Trilogy to everyone, as mentioned in earlier posts. Chocolate was also pretty good. Love me some good asian cinema.