Cho Aniki Zero making PSP more manly in Spring 2010
by Griffin McElroy 
{ Oct 23rd 2009 at 3:00PM } 
Exaltation. Oiled up and ready to thrust. Epic struggle. Muscle-bounded forces. Manliness. Another dimension of sights and sounds. Heightened experiences of rhythmic action. Man-rageous. Brotherly love. Muscle-on-muscle madness. Man-tastic voyage. Man Protein. The greatest bromances of all time. (Snaps.)
Gallery: Cho Aniki Zero (PSP)
AKSYS GAMES BRINGS FORTH CHO ANIKI ZERO!
Behold! Drink Your Protein Shake And Witness The Birth Of The Manliest Shooter EVER!
Torrance, CA (October 13th, 2009) – Aksys Games, a publisher of interactive entertainment products, proudly brings you this announcement, in exaltation of all that is manly: in spring 2010, Cho Aniki Zero will be oiled up and ready to thrust its way onto your PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system! Sold exclusively as a digital download through the PlayStation®Store, Cho Aniki Zero gives players the chance to take part in an epic struggle alongside heroes Idaten and Benten as they blast through the muscle-bounded forces of Emperor Balzac II.
Cho Aniki Zero brings manliness back to the old-school shoot-em-up genre and, warps it to another dimension of sights and sounds. In Cho Aniki Zero, players will be introduced to brand-new characters and newly heightened experiences of rhythmic action, intertwined with the famous BGM of Kouji Hayama. Battle through five man-rageous levels of brotherly love and muscle-on-muscle madness!
The Story So Far...
Since the death of Balzac, the Builder Planet has celebrated a long period of peace.
However, as time goes by, protein becomes scarce, and protein deficiency is soon a serious problem for the Builder Planet. As people struggle for control over what protein is left, Balzac II begins his subtle rise to power...
Learning of his return, Idaten and Benten take up arms and begin their man-tastic voyage...
"Cho Aniki Zero is a real trip," said Frank "Bo" deWindt II, Associate Producer, Aksys Games. "It's wacky, hilarious, and just plain fun. Be it the crazy characters, the challenging gameplay, or even the out-of-this-world enemies, you'll find yourself chugging down protein shakes between levels before you know it!"
Key Features:
• MUSCLE REIGNS SUPREME
Choose between Idaten and Benten, then select your "Option" (sidekick) such as Samson, Adon, or Micha & El. Defeat Emperor Balzac before he claims the universe's protein for himself!
• MEN'S BEEEEEEEAM!
Too much man-action on the screen? Collect enough Man Protein to unleash the devastating attack of the Men's Beam!
• IT'S RAINING MEN!
Blaze through five man-mazing levels of love, and bear witness to the birth and rebirth of some of the greatest bromances of all time!
• CHOOSE WISELY...
Cho Aniki Zero offers multiple paths that leads to various endings for our muscle-bound heroes!
Cho Aniki Zero has not yet been rated by the ESRB. More information about Aksys Games and Cho Aniki Zero can be found at www.aksysgames.com.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Qaen @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:05PM
This post just broke my gaydar.
Argnoth @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:05PM
this series has always been a little frightening.
Lucky @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:16PM
Little?
Argnoth @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:18PM
okay, unbelievably disturbing, I can never figure out if they have a gay porn agenda or if they just think it is really funny.
Josh @ Oct 23rd 2009 6:04PM
It is really funny.
Neuromancer @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:09PM
I always knew this game was pretty gay.. But "Man Protein"?
Storm Eagle [Resident Capcom Megafan] @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:18PM
Emperor Balzac!?!?!?!
[ArchiGamer] [Controlling you through a chip in your butt since 1999] @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:11PM
That photo is pure....something.
Geist @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:12PM
I remember playing a copy of this for the PS2, the one that uses digitized graphics.
Oh my god.
Fighting a man with a metal octopus covering his genitals.
Fighting a tower of half-naked men as a coach in the background yelled at them.
Minions that represent naked men flying all over the screen, trying to attack me.
Jesus, this series....
Maverick Saturn (Igor) @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:16PM
I'm sure wrestling and madden fans will enjoy this :D
JeremyR @ Oct 23rd 2009 7:39PM
Don't forget the UFC
Geist @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:16PM
I wish Atlus would release this, simply because they write hilarious press releases.
derek @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:19PM
This will give the DS some stiff competition.
NightSoD @ Oct 23rd 2009 6:04PM
I think you meant to say
This will give the DS...
...some stiff competition.
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Storm Eagle [Resident Capcom Megafan] @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:17PM
Gamestop Pre-order Bonus: Special Code to unlock Salem and Rios from Army of Two as playable bros!
Ed Rose @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:19PM
Emperor Ball Sack???
vidGuy @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:21PM
That baddie name was just so great they couldn't bear giving it up; thank god we have the evil Balzac II.
AerialAngel @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:21PM
Oiled up body builders fighting makes the psp manly ?
.....
*facepalm*
derek @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:32PM
Anybody know how long this game will be?
vidGuy @ Oct 23rd 2009 4:11PM
Too long for you to handle?
Ethan @ Oct 23rd 2009 5:13PM
It's how you use it that counts.
Durden @ Oct 23rd 2009 6:01PM
It's really not the length, it's the motion of the ocean.
mountpanic @ Oct 24th 2009 1:04AM
It's never as long as they say it is.
uncaringbear @ Oct 24th 2009 6:07AM
It's hard to say.
Johnathan @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:24PM
When in 1999 I wondered where video games would be, I did not think a man-candy scrolling shooter would be among the possibilities
Stevetrop @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:26PM
Duck!!! He's about to unleash the MEN'S BEEEEEEEEEAM!
Engerz @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:27PM
No other version can surpass the weirdness of the Saturn version. :shudder:
killdash9 @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:30PM
Holy crap, I never believed this game would ever come to the US! Not sure if I want it, as I seem to recall reviews saying it wasn't particularly good (and not sure if I really want any Cho Aniki game in my library . . .), but the fact that it's coming out at all is a shock. This is even more shocking than hearing that Fate/unlimited codes was coming to the US.
By the way, the official website of the game: www.e-xtreme.co.jp/aniki/ . As you can see, Benten provides a bit of (very) welcome femininity to the game.
Qaen @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:41PM
Evidently, this game is all about coming out.
Preston @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:34PM
Hopefully this bodes well for a future US release of Muscle March.
Marco le Polo @ Oct 23rd 2009 3:43PM
"some of the greatest bromances of all time!"
YES!
tygerr_nitemare @ Oct 23rd 2009 4:07PM
MY PSP WILL BE EXPERIENCING THIS MANRYNESS.
Halifirien @ Oct 23rd 2009 5:30PM
The final boss is Pat Robertson.
Durden @ Oct 23rd 2009 6:03PM
Will there be any Powerthirst Bear Blasting?
TendoMan @ Oct 23rd 2009 6:11PM
So I'm browsing Joystiq, and come upon this post, and let out a hearty laugh. My wife walks by and asks whats so funny. I tell her never mind, she wouldn't get it. She wants to know.
I have now attempted to explain Cho Aniki to her, all the while having gameplay and screenshots up on the screen.
She looked at me funny and said "Goddamn the Japanese are weird."
Sunborn @ Oct 23rd 2009 11:54PM
Freaking day one purchase! This game looks abslolutly hiiiilarious. Whew, good fun!
JeezWhiz87 @ Oct 24th 2009 11:28AM
YO CHO ANIKI ZERO I'M REAL HAPPY FOR YOU, AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH BUT PAUL RUDD, AND JASON SEGEL HAD ONE OF THE BEST BROMANCES OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!
the rev @ Oct 24th 2009 1:54PM
download only?
BOYCOTT
killdash9 @ Oct 24th 2009 3:00PM
That's fine. Their analysis is that they will lose less money from you (and maybe others) boycotting than they would if they spent the resources to produce and distribute the game on UMD throughout the nation. And, seriously, do you really believe Target and Wal-Mart would even *think* about putting this game on their shelves after they saw cover art?
killdash9 @ Oct 24th 2009 3:01PM
That's fine. Their analysis is that they will lose less money from you (and maybe others) boycotting than they would if they spent the resources to produce and distribute the game on UMD throughout the nation. And, seriously, do you really believe Target and Wal-Mart would even _think_ about putting this game on their shelves after they saw cover art?
John @ Oct 24th 2009 3:05PM
Digital downloads will kill the industry