JBO: Joystiq Box Office, October 26 - October 30, Horror Edition!
by Kevin Kelly 
{ Oct 30th 2009 at 9:00PM } 
We can't be gaming all the time, despite our best efforts, and from time to time we'll actually take advantage of the movie-playing abilities on our gaming systems. JBO features our top picks for XBL, PSN, Netflix's Watch Instantly and Blu-ray each week.
Halloween looms right around the corner! In preparation for a spook-tacular weekend full of fun and frights, we present you with an all-horror edition of Joystiq Box Office. Although in all honesty, nothing tops Trick 'r Treat from a couple of weeks ago. You owe it to Halloween to check that out. Of course, being the geeks that we are, we'd also like to remind you that Battlestar Galactica: The Plan is now out on Blu-ray, DVD, PSN, and the Xbox Marketplace. It's not their best work, but hey ... it's more Battlestar Galactica!
Recommendation of the Week:
Monsturd (Netflix Watch Instantly)
Yes, this is seriously a movie. A fugitive on the run accidentally falls into a sewage tunnel, which is also where a chemical company has been dumping their toxic waste. As a result, he becomes Monsturd: half-man, half-poop. I kid you not. There have been poop monsters in movies before, like the transformed Chet in Weird Science and the Golgathan from Kevin Smith's Dogma, but nothing compares to Monsturd. It's actually not a bad send-up of the classic 50s frightfilms, and the tagline for the movie is "Don't get caught with your pants down!" How can you go wrong?
A lot of you have been asking about the pricing on certain Xbox releases. For instance Red Cliff is 800
($10) to rent in standard definition, as opposed to the normal rental price of 320 ($4) for SD. The reason for this is that it has not yet been released in theaters, and is exclusive to the Xbox 360, Amazon, and certain VOD outlets. The film actually opens on November 18, so the added price is for the benefit of seeing it early.
As usual, we'll see you at the popcorn sta -- well, actually, we won't see you at all. But you catch our drift. Plus, be sure to tell us what you'll be watching, or what you've seen recently that bowled you over.
Halloween looms right around the corner! In preparation for a spook-tacular weekend full of fun and frights, we present you with an all-horror edition of Joystiq Box Office. Although in all honesty, nothing tops Trick 'r Treat from a couple of weeks ago. You owe it to Halloween to check that out. Of course, being the geeks that we are, we'd also like to remind you that Battlestar Galactica: The Plan is now out on Blu-ray, DVD, PSN, and the Xbox Marketplace. It's not their best work, but hey ... it's more Battlestar Galactica!
Recommendation of the Week:
Monsturd (Netflix Watch Instantly)Yes, this is seriously a movie. A fugitive on the run accidentally falls into a sewage tunnel, which is also where a chemical company has been dumping their toxic waste. As a result, he becomes Monsturd: half-man, half-poop. I kid you not. There have been poop monsters in movies before, like the transformed Chet in Weird Science and the Golgathan from Kevin Smith's Dogma, but nothing compares to Monsturd. It's actually not a bad send-up of the classic 50s frightfilms, and the tagline for the movie is "Don't get caught with your pants down!" How can you go wrong?
A lot of you have been asking about the pricing on certain Xbox releases. For instance Red Cliff is 800
($10) to rent in standard definition, as opposed to the normal rental price of 320 ($4) for SD. The reason for this is that it has not yet been released in theaters, and is exclusive to the Xbox 360, Amazon, and certain VOD outlets. The film actually opens on November 18, so the added price is for the benefit of seeing it early. Xbox Live Video Marketplace (Xbox 360)
The Thaw (480 ($6) HD, 320 ($4) SD to rent)Granted, the logline for this movie sounds like it was ripped off from John Carpenter's The Thing, but it's actually a decent movie that hasn't received much attention. Val Kilmer stars as an environmentalist who leads a group of students on an expedition in the Arctic ice. They find a frozen woolly mammoth, along with some prehistoric parasites that start to thaw out. Whoops. There's a ridiculous message about global warming buried in here, but it's better than you'd expect. The flick was produced by Sam Raimi's Ghost House label, and they somehow got Kilmer involved. Probably by threatening to make him watch Batman Forever ... forever.
Netflix Watch Instantly (Mac/PC or Xbox Live, subscription required: starts at $8.99 per month)
American MovieNetflix has a lot of classic horror films available via Watch Instantly, including The Evil Dead and Phantasm, but if you haven't seen Chris Smith's documentary about one man trying to make his own horror movie entitled Coven, then you need to treat yourself. It's both hilarious and heart-wrenching, and it shows you that sometimes dedication goes a lot further than you'd expect. It's one of the best documentaries to come out in years, and will leave you fascinated with Mark Borchardt's life and wondering why he thought Coven was a good idea for a movie. He manages to convince his uncle to pony up his life savings to make the film, and you have to see the results to believe it.
PlayStation Store (PlayStation 3 or PSP)
Stan Helsing ($4.50 HD, $2.99 SD to rent, $9.99 SD to own)Forget Scary Movie, Stan Helsing is one of the better horror movie parodies to come out in a long time, and it's a lot better than any of the other [Insert Phrase Here] Movies like Epic Movie, Date Movie, etc. A video store clerk finds himself facing off against classic slasher movie villains like Freddy Krueger and Leatherface, and only his knowledge of horror movies can save him. Steve Howey does a decent job as Stan Helsing, and the lovely Diora Baird is quite the hottie. Unfortunately they rounded things out with a cameo from Leslie Nielsen, who really should think about retiring from the parody film circuit.
Blu-ray Disc (PlayStation 3)
Night of the Creeps: Director's Cut ($24.95 MSRP, lower at many retailers)Night of the Creeps features stolen bodies, space parasites, zombies and a low budget in an homage to 1950s horror films and was made in the middle of the 1980s. It's become a cult classic since then, and now it's ready to be experienced all over again in glorious high-definition. There's a bunch of extras tossed in, like deleted scenes and commentary from the cast and the director, but the real star is the movie itself. "The Good News Is Your Date Is Here, The Bad News Is ... He's Dead." They don't make them like this anymore, and it manages to capture both the horror of the '50s and the '80s in one fell swoop.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Jeff Mukau @ Oct 30th 2009 9:07PM
American Movie is one of my favorite documentaries ever made.
Residentevil72501 (PSN: rankore) @ Oct 30th 2009 9:15PM
I will be watching Event Horizon and The Orphanage, two of my personal favorite horror movies.
skatz83 @ Oct 30th 2009 9:17PM
I'm watching Shaun of the Dead and Nightmare Before Christmas for my Halloween festivities.
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Oct 30th 2009 9:20PM
Can't wait for the sequel: Monstard. Half human, half mustard. All retard.
Solace @ Oct 30th 2009 9:26PM
+1 you made my day that much funnier
Mr.ESC @ Oct 30th 2009 9:36PM
He can help it,his brain is mustard.Which brings us to the interesting question: How the hell does he live?
sonicspike41 @ Oct 30th 2009 10:03PM
You never go full retard.
WRYYYYYY @ Oct 30th 2009 10:29PM
The sequel already exists. It's called Retardead.
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Oct 30th 2009 10:34PM
@Mr. ESC
I'd tell you, but that'd ruin it for everyone!
VeHeMeNcE @ Oct 30th 2009 9:28PM
Ha, Monsturd....watched that years ago! It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen but it has that "so bad, it's good" quality. Get a couple friends together and check out this "turd" for a good laugh.
Mr.ESC @ Oct 30th 2009 9:35PM
Monsturd? Joystiq is again recommending us crap.
Monsturd? crap?,get it?
Yeah I know I'll just leave now.
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Oct 30th 2009 9:36PM
You really should.
Mr.ESC @ Oct 30th 2009 9:38PM
Says the man with the copypasta Capatin picard oh yeah I meant Martian man hunter.
C'mon, we can share a cab on the way out.
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Oct 30th 2009 9:44PM
A cab? Such plebian transportation.
Ride in your 'cab'. I prefer my personal transport.
Markez @ Oct 30th 2009 9:51PM
You suck, ESC, not voting for my pumpkin eh!? Well I won't vote up your turd comments anymore, eh!? WHattaYA THINK of THat?!
BOO THIS MAN
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Oct 30th 2009 9:56PM
You voted for the wrong pumpkin!
How dare ye!
Reddrive @ Oct 30th 2009 9:47PM
I'm thinking going for Orphan on XBL
sonicspike41 @ Oct 30th 2009 10:08PM
I recently saw Paranormal Activity after a friend recommended it to me, saying, "This is one of the scariest movies I've seen in a long time!" I didn't find it all that convincing, and kept wondering why the male character wanted to fight a demon. (Unless you've been sent to hell, or you happen to be Keanu Reeves, I don't see how you could even hope to take on a demon by yourself).
I'll be playing plenty of Secret of Mana, and maybe watch Zombieland later tonight. Looking online, comments seemed mixed, but most people I've played games with have said it's great. Guess I'll find out soon enough.
WiredKnight: Keeper of Threads @ Oct 30th 2009 10:36PM
Perhaps he had the B.P.R.D. on his side?
whylekat @ Oct 31st 2009 10:11AM
Zombieland is hysterical. Go see it. =P
sonicspike41 @ Oct 31st 2009 5:31PM
Indeed it was. One of the better movies this year, that's for sure. Love the cameo too. Jusr a great movie in general.
BigBrasky @ Oct 30th 2009 10:32PM
I recently just watched Martyrs. It's a french film so you get to read subtitles, but my oh my is it disturbing. I HIGHLY recommend it to you fine folks out their searching for something with a little "oomph".
VeHeMeNcE @ Oct 31st 2009 1:08AM
Love that movie! If you like this movie, I recommend watching Inside and Frontier(s) which are also great.
GewurztraminerX @ Oct 30th 2009 10:49PM
Hellboy 1 & 2
GewurztraminerX @ Oct 30th 2009 10:51PM
oh, and playing Brutal Legend.
Cyntalan @ Oct 31st 2009 12:08AM
HAH. My sister-in-law co-stars in Monsturd. XD
SicTransit2 @ Oct 31st 2009 1:39AM
i'll be watching Halloween 1 + 2 (cliche, i know.. but honestly not only are they two of my favorite movies but watching them on halloween also hightens the mood of both films)
Discotheque @ Oct 31st 2009 3:22AM
2 is rubbish IMO. I think Halloween 1 is classic.
My list for tomorrow:
Martyrs
Exorcist
The Thing
Alien
awww yeah. And then no sleep at night while I keep thinking a demonized Linda Blair is going to pop out of my closet.
Outinthedark @ Oct 31st 2009 2:26AM
Another Halloween Netflix Instant suggestion: Jekyll w/ James Nesbitt
http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Jekyll/70075070?trkid=222336&strkid=1652122233_0_0&strackid=5e1772235edaf76e_0_srl
Short 6 part series and well worth it. Very entertaining to watch with quite a few dark twists to the original story.
Adam @ Oct 31st 2009 8:13AM
Welcome to the best holiday of the year. To celebrate I watch 31 scary [Note: term used loosely] movies. The 31 Days of Halloween!
The list so far: 1. Dance of the Dead 2. Gangs of the Dead 3. Re-Animator 4. Friday the 13th (1979) 5. Friday the 13th (2009) 6. Shadow of the Vampire 7. The Thaw 8. Drag Me to Hell 9. Of Unknown Origin 10. From Beyond 11. The Cottage 12. Night of the Living Dead (1990) 13. Book of Blood 14. Scream 15. Dawn of the Dead (2004) 16. Zombieland 17. May 18. Halloween 2 (1982) 19. Screamers 20. How to Be a Serial Killer 21. Altered 22. The Hunt 23. Army of Darkness 24. The Brood 25. God Told Me To 26. The Last Winter 27. Clawed: the Legend of Sasquatch 28. Prom Night (1980) 29. Manhattan Murder Mystery
Tonight we take it home with the remake of My Bloody Valentine and the piece de resistance: Trick R Treat!
And the answer to your question is yes, I am the coolest person you've ever heard of.
Obie @ Oct 31st 2009 9:43AM
Sci-Fi horror mix: Predator, Alien, Aliens, Dawn of the Dead and Poltergeist.
superbagman @ Oct 31st 2009 11:19AM
Ha, I saw Monsturd a long time ago. We were doing a bad movie night at college and we couldn't pass up a flick with a name like THAT.
sleepydumbdude @ Oct 31st 2009 1:51PM
I watched Red Cliff this weekend. Really cool if you liked dynasty warriors or the romance games.
R (Planeteers | Power of Penile Pulse) @ Oct 31st 2009 3:34PM
Best Halloween line up:
Army of Darkness
Hi, My Name is Bruce.
I loves me some Bruce Campbell.
Space @ Oct 31st 2009 4:06PM
monsturd is a terrible terrible movie. me and my friends routinely rent bad movies to fine hidden gems, but monsturd is like a bad student film. it has no redeeming qualities.
if you are looking for a movie so bad it's good, steer clear of this movie.
Diskoboy7 @ Nov 1st 2009 4:10PM
After I got home from my friends party, I spent most of the evening watching the Night of the Living Dead marathon, on AMC.
They ran the 1968 version in HD, and I have to say, it looked quite nice in 1080i - sucks it wasn't shot in widescreen, though...