Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) with your iPhone
by JC Fletcher 
{ Nov 2nd 2009 at 9:05AM } 
The iPhone game, like the original, gives you an office building full of potentially deadly office furniture and supplies, and five minutes to punish yourself until you actually expire through some combination of stapling yourself, smashing your head in copy machines, provoking co-workers, etc. The new version adds Wi-Fi and Bluetooth multiplayer, for death races. It's available now in the App Store for $2.99.
*In the game. Please don't kill yourself.
Five Minutes to Kill Yourself ($2.99):
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:08AM
Need to kill yourself? There's an app for that!
BigD145 @ Nov 2nd 2009 2:19PM
Or you could just jam the phone down your throat.
Cj @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:09AM
Zune really needs to get to work opening up their app store. Lets the 3rd party in MS. Look how well Apple is doing. Porting a game only took 1 guy like a few hours for his game.
PR0F3TA (PSN - PROPHETA) @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:20AM
i was saying that about a month ago, Zune HD has nice specs but if Microsoft really wanted to bite into the iPod Touch it would need to rethink its whole strategy.
So far the best contender to being functional is the Verizon Droid, and that isn't even a over priced MP3 player.
MRLN (The Comment God) @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:09AM
Can someone say....
INTERNET CONTROVERSY????
even though it's already been out, retail may have brought it to the light of annoying people.
MRLN (The Comment God) @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:11AM
Tch. I wish I could delete this comment because it's stupid. But I can't. Now I have nothing else to do but kill myself. (c wat i did ther?)
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:42AM
INEVITABLE TRAGEDY!
Oh, wait...
Levi @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:31AM
Kill yourself
MRLN (The Comment God) @ Nov 2nd 2009 7:29PM
My wishes have been, for the most part, fulfilled. Thank you, Joystiq community.
That Burning Sensation @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:10AM
Darth... too funny. If office workers think life is bad, they should work Target.
jedimacfan @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:22AM
So true. I lasted about two weeks before I just stopped showing up. And after seeing how all the cows shop for shoes there, it's no wonder Al Bundy was so spiteful. Now that Gitmo is closed, we can send terror suspects to work at Target.
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:26AM
Try working for Subway...I don't know how I made it as long as I did.
That Burning Sensation @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:26AM
Oh man, people annihilate the shoe department man. They literally pull shoes on the floor and mix up all of the boxes. Not to mention the little kids who are allowed to run around and knock over and play with everything. Cokes, popcorn, magazines, etc are always on the floor. Don't even get me started on the management. Jesus, I think retarded monkeys could do a better job. A career at Target means you've just given up on your dreams.
Martin @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:47AM
I worked at Target's corporate HQ ... beat that ...
LegendaryRedass @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:18AM
Or staples
ChooChooCharlie @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:22AM
Retail and food service jobs in general suck.
It should be mandatory that everyone work a retail/food service job for one year to get a taste of the other side. Maybe then they'd stop shitting all over the employees and being rude, discourteous fucks.
LegendaryRedass @ Nov 2nd 2009 11:37AM
Nobody got the Shrute reference?
XBL: xGeneral DEATHx PSN: Deeth82 [Planeteer | Power of General Hostility and Angst] @ Nov 2nd 2009 2:44PM
@ ChooChooCharlie:
Agreed. +1
That Burning Sensation @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:14AM
They should have this game for PSN and XBL too. Also, different work places would be great.
zero2dash @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:53AM
Technically you should be able to play it on both the Ps3 and Wii using the web browsers, *if* they have an 'up-to-date-enough' version of Flash.
Don't know though; I never use the Wii browser and I rarely use the Ps3 browser.
That Burning Sensation @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:31AM
I'm not saying there are not worse jobs Darth and I don't want to get pulled into a 'my job is worse' challenge, but you don't know hell till you've dealt with a Target 'executive'. Talk about people who live and breath for a paycheck. I know a manager who left based on 'moral principles', and I'm not kidding. They wanted her to bend the truth on an accident that happened to an employee so they could get out of being reported/fined and even go as far as write them up. It's a disturbing little world.
TheFreak @ Nov 2nd 2009 9:38AM
Karoshi beat 'em to it!
zefur @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:14AM
Did you just say Karushi as in the block puzzle game that game is GREAT
zefur @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:28AM
*edit* meant Karoshi (I always pronounced it karushi tho)
Hyperion45 @ Nov 2nd 2009 11:03AM
Karoshi, Suicide Salesman. It's a flash game where you commit suicide in increasingly creative ways. That's what he was referring to.
Lucky @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:04AM
So now you get to pay for it? Joy.
Temidien @ Nov 2nd 2009 11:35AM
$3 to play a fantastic game on the go and save you potentially thousands in therapy sessions (killing your avatar on a bathroom break during a hectic workday can be highly therapeutic and it is the reason I keep my DS at the office) is a worthy price to pay.
Or you can be a whiny bitch.
Darth Bradwart, Dark Lord of the Sith @ Nov 2nd 2009 10:21AM
Please, burn in hell.
RKN @ Nov 2nd 2009 11:54AM
In all seriousness, won't there be any controversy over this game, perhaps from depression and suicide prevention groups? If there can be controversy from homosexuals over Modern Warfare 2, what about this?
Maverick Saturn (Igor) @ Nov 2nd 2009 12:17PM
Is it BECAUSE of the iphone you need this app?
Enosoma @ Nov 2nd 2009 1:36PM
I'll never understand how or why companies would charge even the smallest amount for shitty flash games that can be found for free on newgrounds or kongregate.
Not only that, but they suck. These "games" are terrible.
Reaper man @ Nov 2nd 2009 4:41PM
perfect app, because if you own an iPhone, you really do need to kill yourself.
Sly @ Nov 2nd 2009 5:33PM
i got this at launch. it's really fun, but there's not much replay replay value. it still has a high spot on my first page of apps (not the home page).
danny @ Nov 6th 2009 2:29PM
Recently i unlocked my 3GS 3.1.2 iphone and i want to know if its safe, i used http://www.unlock-iphone.org , please tell me if its safe
dany @ Dec 7th 2009 8:30AM
Hello,
Yesterday i unlocked my 3gs 3.1.2 iphone and i was wondering if that is safe to do ? The iphone is unlocked but is it safe to use ? I used www.unlock-iphone.org . Please tell me if is safe.