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Joystiq

Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) with your iPhone

by JC Fletcher on Nov 2nd 2009 9:05AM

Adult Swim's Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself), a browser game about using the tools in your office to end your apparently miserable cubicle-bound life, can now be played on the go. Artificial Life, Inc. has ported the morbid action-puzzle game to iPhone and iPod Touch, which means that you can now kill yourself with one finger!*

The iPhone game, like the original, gives you an office building full of potentially deadly office furniture and supplies, and five minutes to punish yourself until you actually expire through some combination of stapling yourself, smashing your head in copy machines, provoking co-workers, etc. The new version adds Wi-Fi and Bluetooth multiplayer, for death races. It's available now in the App Store for $2.99.

*In the game. Please don't kill yourself.

Five Minutes to Kill Yourself ($2.99):

Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) (iPhone)

Source

Tags: action, adult-swim, Apple, artificial-life-inc, five-minutes-to-kill-yourself, iPod

Reader Comments (35)

Need to kill yourself? There's an app for that!

Or you could just jam the phone down your throat.

Zune really needs to get to work opening up their app store. Lets the 3rd party in MS. Look how well Apple is doing. Porting a game only took 1 guy like a few hours for his game.

i was saying that about a month ago, Zune HD has nice specs but if Microsoft really wanted to bite into the iPod Touch it would need to rethink its whole strategy.

So far the best contender to being functional is the Verizon Droid, and that isn't even a over priced MP3 player.

Can someone say....

INTERNET CONTROVERSY????

even though it's already been out, retail may have brought it to the light of annoying people.

Tch. I wish I could delete this comment because it's stupid. But I can't. Now I have nothing else to do but kill myself. (c wat i did ther?)

INEVITABLE TRAGEDY!

Oh, wait...

Kill yourself

My wishes have been, for the most part, fulfilled. Thank you, Joystiq community.

Darth... too funny. If office workers think life is bad, they should work Target.

So true. I lasted about two weeks before I just stopped showing up. And after seeing how all the cows shop for shoes there, it's no wonder Al Bundy was so spiteful. Now that Gitmo is closed, we can send terror suspects to work at Target.

Try working for Subway...I don't know how I made it as long as I did.

Oh man, people annihilate the shoe department man. They literally pull shoes on the floor and mix up all of the boxes. Not to mention the little kids who are allowed to run around and knock over and play with everything. Cokes, popcorn, magazines, etc are always on the floor. Don't even get me started on the management. Jesus, I think retarded monkeys could do a better job. A career at Target means you've just given up on your dreams.

I worked at Target's corporate HQ ... beat that ...

Or staples

Retail and food service jobs in general suck.

It should be mandatory that everyone work a retail/food service job for one year to get a taste of the other side. Maybe then they'd stop shitting all over the employees and being rude, discourteous fucks.

Nobody got the Shrute reference?

@ ChooChooCharlie:

Agreed. +1

They should have this game for PSN and XBL too. Also, different work places would be great.

Technically you should be able to play it on both the Ps3 and Wii using the web browsers, *if* they have an 'up-to-date-enough' version of Flash.

Don't know though; I never use the Wii browser and I rarely use the Ps3 browser.

I'm not saying there are not worse jobs Darth and I don't want to get pulled into a 'my job is worse' challenge, but you don't know hell till you've dealt with a Target 'executive'. Talk about people who live and breath for a paycheck. I know a manager who left based on 'moral principles', and I'm not kidding. They wanted her to bend the truth on an accident that happened to an employee so they could get out of being reported/fined and even go as far as write them up. It's a disturbing little world.

Karoshi beat 'em to it!

Did you just say Karushi as in the block puzzle game that game is GREAT

*edit* meant Karoshi (I always pronounced it karushi tho)

Karoshi, Suicide Salesman. It's a flash game where you commit suicide in increasingly creative ways. That's what he was referring to.

So now you get to pay for it? Joy.

$3 to play a fantastic game on the go and save you potentially thousands in therapy sessions (killing your avatar on a bathroom break during a hectic workday can be highly therapeutic and it is the reason I keep my DS at the office) is a worthy price to pay.

Or you can be a whiny bitch.

Please, burn in hell.

In all seriousness, won't there be any controversy over this game, perhaps from depression and suicide prevention groups? If there can be controversy from homosexuals over Modern Warfare 2, what about this?

Is it BECAUSE of the iphone you need this app?

I'll never understand how or why companies would charge even the smallest amount for shitty flash games that can be found for free on newgrounds or kongregate.

Not only that, but they suck. These "games" are terrible.

perfect app, because if you own an iPhone, you really do need to kill yourself.

i got this at launch. it's really fun, but there's not much replay replay value. it still has a high spot on my first page of apps (not the home page).

Recently i unlocked my 3GS 3.1.2 iphone and i want to know if its safe, i used http://www.unlock-iphone.org , please tell me if its safe

Hello,
Yesterday i unlocked my 3gs 3.1.2 iphone and i was wondering if that is safe to do ? The iphone is unlocked but is it safe to use ? I used www.unlock-iphone.org . Please tell me if is safe.

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Breaking News

Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) with your iPhone

Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) (iPhone)

Reader Comments (35)

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:08AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 2:19PM BigD145 said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:09AM Arsenic13 said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:20AM PR0F3TA said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:09AM mrln said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:11AM mrln said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:42AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:31AM Levi said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 7:29PM mrln said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:10AM That Burning Sensation said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:22AM jedimacfan said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:26AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:26AM That Burning Sensation said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:47AM Martin C said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:18AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:22AM ChooChooCharlie said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 11:37AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 2:44PM xGeneral DEATHxDEETH82 said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:14AM That Burning Sensation said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:53AM zero2dash said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:31AM That Burning Sensation said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 9:38AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:14AM zefur said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:28AM zefur said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 11:03AM Hyperion45 said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:04AM Lucky The Fox said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 11:35AM Temidien said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 10:21AM (Unverified) said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 11:54AM RKN said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 12:17PM Spunky Monkey 190906 said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 1:36PM Enosoma said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 4:41PM Reaper man said

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 5:33PM Sly C said

Posted: Nov 6th 2009 2:29PM (Unverified) said

Posted: Dec 7th 2009 8:30AM (Unverified) said

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