Valve explains why Portal's Companion Cube had to die

by Justin McElroy on Nov 2nd 2009 2:30PM

When we cursed the heavens and asked tearfully why our beloved labradoodle, Cagney, had to die in a horrific snow plow accident, leaving behind her best friend (our maltipoo Lacey), the only answer we received was the stony ambivalence of a silent autumnal sky.

When we cursed Valve and asked tearfully why our beloved Companion Cube had to die by our own hands, Portal's writers calmly explained to Gamasutra that it was to develop a stronger bond with the Cube and teach the mechanics of the incinerator.

See how it's done, God? Was that so difficult?

Source

Tags: companion-cube, erik-wolpaw, orange-box, portal, valve

Reader Comments (51)

The cake is a lie...

Also, there is no death. There is only the Force.

That got old a long time ago. Why is someone posting a catch phrase for the millionth time considered something worth doing?

Good thing this isn't a Bioshock thread or it would probably be even worse.

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

@ ShadowXOR

Would you kindly stfu.

Would you kindly not use "The Cake is a Lie!" Is that what you were looking for Shawdow?

The truth is a pie...

the best chicken is the thigh

i am high!

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us
except for the ones who are dead

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
And torn it pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
So I'm glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned
For the people that are still alive

Go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
Maybe Black Mesa
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist

Look at me still talking, when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
While you are dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I'll be still alive
STILL ALIVE
still alive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI

Was this posted years ago, or was it in the commentary? I swear I already knew all of this.

Congratulations, you have just experience a deja vu.

Or you have precognition, and if that's the case I'm so outta here...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure this was all in the in-game commentary...

Yea, it was explained in the commentary.

BRING ON THE 2007 MEMES!

I mean all of them, not just the Portal ones.

*scratches head.*

All your base are belong to us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Nah. There was Dick in a Box (I think that was 2007), Flash Mobs, Weegi, Captain Planet, Haruhi dance...probably more but I've devoted enough time to this.

Plus, I just learned about Gogle Search Suggestion fails, so I'm busy now!

Mi--MIKURU BIIMUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS3 has no gamez!
Wii is a fad!
RROD-box amirite?!?

DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS!!! BAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

(I actually can`t believe over 9000 is three years old...)

please make this thread.......

OVER 9000!

I'd heard it was originally a companion CUB. When over 95% of Valve's testers broke down in tears or simply refused to continue to commit more virtual baby bear murder, they changed it to "cube."

The other 5% of the testers? People that went to Baylor. True story.

And when I say :"true story" I mean "total BS."

Companion cube! I'm sorry Companion Cube! I'm sorry! Companion cube! COMPANION CUUUUUUUUUBE!!!!!

My companion cube was a bitch and deserved her fiery death.

It's a shame the cube had to be a casualty in order to defeat a greater, cake-promising evil. R.I.P. CC, you are still missed.

"Portal's writers calmly explained to Gamasutra that it was to develop a stronger bond with the Cube and teach the mechanics of the incinerator. "

You would have known this two years ago if you'd bothered to go through that level in Developer Commentary mode.

the cube died because she was a filthy whore!

Your statement reminds me of my childhood stint in the Catholic faith.

But... but... the Companion Cube is a HE!

[dramatic sting music]

IM SPOILED!!!!

Slow news day much?

I really don't remember this part of the game.

Obviously you never played Portal, because what you just said is tantamount to saying you don't remember hearing "The Princess is in another castle" in Mario Bros.

That's because it was so traumatic that your brain blocked the event from your conscious memory. You are not alone.

Ok seriously, someone jog my memory here. I played (and loved) Portal, but it was almost two years ago now.

I guess I didn't form enough of an emotional attachment to the cube :(

Maybe he doesn't remember it because it wasn't memorable. All of these replies perfectly illustrate the stagnant pit that is video game-related humor.

So take a screenshot of these replies, so the next time you wonder why there are so many awful, awful webcomics like Dueling Analogs, Ctrl-Alt-Del, and pretty much every comic that decided they wanted a piece of the Penny Arcade pie, you can look at that screenshot and realize you have yourselves to blame.

Cubes. They have hearts too.

Six of them in fact

You mean I had to learn fire is hot? Oh shit, better watch out, these guys will soon be teaching us that love between a man and a box is wrong too.

"When we cursed Valve and asked tearfully why our beloved Companion Cube had to die by our own hands, Portal's writers calmly explained to Gamasutra that it was to develop a stronger bond with the Cube and teach the mechanics of the incinerator.

See how it's done, God? Was that so difficult?"

- OMFG LOL - Justin McElroy is too awesome.

BS. They just secretly hated the WCC.

There's no reason you couldn't have chucked a blabbering turret into the incinerator hole instead, or even one of the plain cubes.

Wow, seriously? So nowadays developers have to EXPLAIN to us the emotions we are supposed to feel when playing through a game?

It's like explaining that you should feel sad because they killed Aerith in FFVII. Also, it's a plot twist.

Also, if you did not know that, don't read the previous sentence... and what are you doing on gaming blog, anyway... noob.

maltipoo = mutt

actually I just made myself feel bad, I used to have a dog named Lacey.

True love is not ambivolent!

I really didn't give a shit: you only had the Cube for a single level. I was more worried about the fact that I was being forced to give a thing I could use to get myself outta there.

Does that make me a bad person?

yes.

Ok seriously, someone jog my memory here. I played (and loved) Portal, but it was almost two years ago now.

I guess I didn't form enough of an emotional attachment to the cube :(

It's funny that he got voted down, because he's right. The cube and the cake weren't the funniest part of the game, but it's the part that gamers latched onto like the humorless leeches they are. Spouting phrases from video games ad nauseam (i.e. "more than zero times") doesn't make up for your complete lack of personality.

Stupid reply system. That was supposed to be a response to the first post.

Is it common for people to name their two dogs Cagney and Lacey because my aunt had two dogs with those names. She also had a dog named Murphy (as in Murphy Brown).

I often get the the Cagney and Lacey theme song stuck in my head which kind of sucks 'cause I hate saxophones...

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Valve explains why Portal's Companion Cube had to die

Reader Comments (51)

Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 2:32PM (Unverified) said

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Posted: Nov 2nd 2009 2:34PM ShadowXOR said

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