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Reader Comments (72)

Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:35PM RKN said

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Okay, NOW its being annoying.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:36PM (Unverified) said

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That does seem pretty realistic...
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:52PM Manifest37 said

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LOL, some will never understand how realistic it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 5:52PM philipjfryrish said

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Yeah, hurry up and wait.
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Posted: Nov 11th 2009 3:00PM Know said

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They forgot to mention the part when Keeshon has to carry a giant 2x4 because he left his weapon in the port-a- john and the part where he pulls grass out of crack in the concrete before sweeping in a sand storm. Iraq, such fond memories.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:36PM B3astofthe3ast said

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The 17 pound wii controller made me lol
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:37PM (Unverified) said

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Well, people wanted a realistic game, here you go
(I know it is a joke)
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:38PM Vegeta has a ps3 said

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So do people think by mentioning that quote in every Activision thread, it makes them think they are witty?

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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:38PM latin trident said

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this is hilarious! love it!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:43PM TheDarkWayne said

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at least there wont be any more endless enemy spawn points!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:47PM mrmobius said

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All Joystiq ever does is write posts about this stupid game. When will Joystiq find new news and stop writing about Modern Warfare 3 in EVERY second post. I'm really getting fed up with this.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:49PM copa said

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"When will Joystiq find new news and stop writing about Modern Warfare 3 in EVERY second post."

Check the tag. This is the only Joystiq post ever on Modern Warfare 3:

http://www.joystiq.com/tag/call-of-duty-modern-warfare-3/

So shut your hysterical whining.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:50PM mrmobius said

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err... [/scarcasm]... does that make it any clearer?
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:01PM Funkmaster General said

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I'm not really sure how you ended up getting voted down, and Copa staying the same, even though he misread your obvious sarcasm and insulted you for it.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:37PM darkinchworm said

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All shall be revealed in due time, friends!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:39PM whiskeyseven said

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shhh listen ... that was the sound of a joke going completely over copa's head
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:02PM AsherR said

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@whiskeyseven: Sounds like a freight train.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:47PM StormEagle said

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That one solider was off his rocker. Jessica Beil would be my choice.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:04PM TheDarkWayne said

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But Shakira's hips dont lie!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:50PM WiNGSPANTT from TopTierTacticsco said

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Actually, I spent a lot of time in Battlefield Bad Company repairing trucks.

The good part is you can also use the drill to de-repair enemy trucks.

You know, or enemy skulls, if you can get that close.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:53PM TheDarkWayne said

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have you never used the drill to miraculously explode walls?!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:55PM WiNGSPANTT from TopTierTacticsco said

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Walls of enemy skulls, yes.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:51PM McBrick said

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Loved the player characters skills: "Endurance, Infrequent Urination, Impressions of Superiors, Beatboxing."
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:52PM Enosoma said

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Those that actually served their country in a war would be disappointed to see that you believe they spend their time "hauling equipment" & "cleaning vehicles".

My brother watched his friend get blown up. Then they raided the farmer's house that planted the IED.

Sure, they DO move boxes and materials, and clean vehicles, but the majority of their time is spent being terrified for their lives. Give them some credit.

If you want it to be realistic (and yes, I realize this was a joke) then you may as well pull their heart out of their chest and shit on it, though you might have a hard time simulating that... at least until the Vitality Sensor comes out.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 12:57PM WiNGSPANTT from TopTierTacticsco said

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If the majority of military life was spent in active explosive combat, we'd have dozens if not hundreds of casualties a day. Nobody is saying that soldiers never see combat. It's parodying the concept that in games like MW2, you get the impression that military life is nothing other than causing and running from explosions. For the sake of satire, this is the exact opposite.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:05PM Shagittarius said

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Thats why people always say serving in the military is weeks and weeks of boredom punctuated by moments of extreme terror?
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:12PM ducttapeBigSexy said

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After watching this single video from The Onion, I'm convinced that people in the military only have pointless arguments and repair trucks. They don't do any real work. This single work of complete fact has completely changed my entire view of the world, and there's nothing you can say to the contrary that will change this one truth that I now hold.

(/sarcasm)
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:13PM ferret said

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There are hundreds of thousands of US soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The majority of those are not fighting every day. The vast, vast majority of them. Your brother's exploits that day do not change this.

The Onion's funny because, thankfully, it's true. Getting an assignment to guard a random warehouse is far more likely than anything else, or, as a previous poster stated, the casualty rates would be far, far higher.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:58PM bakedbeans6 said

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Ummm former U.S. Army Infantryman + Iraq Vet here...

This is..... FUNNY.

STFU.

BTW, happy Veterans Day to all my fellow Vets!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:51PM PedoJokerBear said

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ex-navy (seal) here, this video is absolute truth!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:52PM PedoJokerBear said

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co-sign dan, remembering all my fellow servicemen not only tomorrow but every day.
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Posted: Nov 11th 2009 12:15AM Deschain said

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Fact is people view things differently. Just because you may be a soldier or vet does not mean you are automatically required to think it is funny or unfunny since not all soldiers are in the military for the love of their country. (Many people join because they have no other option coming out of high school) It also does not mean that just because a few vets do think it's funny that all soldiers would. I'm sure most soldiers who haven't had a lot of combat experience would think it's funny man probably some that have, but their will be people who feel it under minds the sacrifices many soldiers make. I personally am not offended much. At first i felt a little offended, but the satire is directed at the Modern Warfare games not soldiers.

- House
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:08PM (Unverified) said

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No you PR whipped Kotick spawn!
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:12PM copa said

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"If you want it to be realistic then you may as well pull their heart out of their chest and shit on it."

Wow, and I would have thought that those that actually served their country in a war would be disappointed to see you believe they spend their time "pulling each other's heart out" & "shitting on them". And not cleaning the vehicles afterward.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:19PM ducttapeBigSexy said

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If you're going to troll, write something relevant to this site (i.e., "teh 360 is better than teh PS3z!").

Or, at a bare minimum, write something that makes sense.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:25PM Kaminaaa said

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I love The Onion ^^
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:37PM (Unverified) said

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I love onions period
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:33PM BigD145 said

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I'm not sure if Onion will be happy or pissed off that you love her _____
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:31PM (Unverified) said

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Bobby has everything to do with this and you all know it! This is much bigger than console wars.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:44PM (Unverified) said

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classic. I lol'd. that is the first time I ever wrote lol and actually laughed
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:54PM PedoJokerBear said

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so...those times with me....were FAKE!?! :(
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Posted: Nov 11th 2009 2:32AM (Unverified) said

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I'm so sorry
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 1:47PM EvoHelix said

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I'm now convinced that you have no idea what you're talking about.
Keep it up and I don't think you'll last another day on Joystiq.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:01PM Aerothorn said

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The sad thing is, this would probably be a better game than Modern Warfare 1 or 2. I mean, it would at least have some sort of artistic/educational value.
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Posted: Nov 11th 2009 11:49AM MrAlex said

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I'd say they have quite a lot of artistic value, the powerful historical quotes when you die, the terrorist scene, pretty artistic and powerful would you not say...

Or are you just a douche who doesn't like the game.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:25PM (Unverified) said

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Whats up with the "Only on Xbox 360" logo on the boxart?? Sweeeet lol
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Posted: Nov 12th 2009 8:51AM Snake Robot Podium said

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Lol, even though they talk about the Wii peripheral. Or is the Wii version an on rails MW2?
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:37PM Jjjjames said

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I quickly read and the title and became exited.
I then re-read the title and became upset.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:41PM Nook said

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That comment should not get voted down, it's important that everyone remembers how they are really viewed from the tops of the corporate empire.

Humans are devalued in the name of profits. This comment alone should have people seriously considering boycotting Activision products.

It should be thrown in the face of Activision every chance there is.

The real gall here is the balls to make such a comment - knowing how it hurts the devs that do work so hard to create enjoable experiences for all gamers. Bringing the comment up is not a pot shot at the devs - it's a reminder.

We should be collectivley assaulting their inbox with this comment and remarks on how negative it is and how it continues to promote a way of thinking that devalues human effort and talent - insist this ahole be removed from his position or else your money (i.e. their profits) will go to another company.

I'm sure the lure of MW2 is too much to ask right now, but this should be the time.

When you downvote someone that posts this comment, you are giving the person that made the original comment the approval to continue that thinking. No matter how often it gets posted, it should be upvoted.
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Posted: Nov 10th 2009 2:48PM Punx said

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Dude Did You Not See The Trailer For Modern Warfare 34345321221234312432!
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