Nintendo takes the fun out of discovery with New Super Mario Bros. Wii tips video

Remember all those secret areas and level-skipping tactics from way back when you first played Super Mario Bros. on NES? Back before you could watch videos created by Nintendo showing off those very same tricks passed from friend to friend by word of mouth – before the internet was even a gleam in Al Gore's eye!

Though our old, embittered brains remember those days fondly, you kids today with your shiny electronics and worldwide exchange of information get the not-so-secret tips straight from the horse's mouth (in sorta high-resolution, no less) on New Super Mario Bros. Wii. After watching the video you see above, we came to a scary realization: there are people out there who might not have any 2D Mario strategies already embedded in their brains. Folks, if you don't have any sort of tactic worked out for red coin collection, we're not sure this video can help you. Or if anyone can, for that matter.

Thankfully, we have a much cooler video after the break.