They say you can find your stripper name by combining the name of your first pet with the street you grew up on. Keeping that in mind, you may someday find yourself trying to figure out how to politely decline the awkward, compulsory advances of Miss Fluffy Lara Croft. As reported in the Derby Telegraph, the hero of the Tomb Raider series in one of eight potential names for two stretches of a road in the UK city Derby, which was the home of Core Design, the original studio behind Lara.
Surprisingly, Lara Croft is not our favorite option, as the idea of being badgered into buying Scruffy John Flamsteed a $13 drink is just too wonderful to imagine. Voting is currently being conducted via a poll on Derby's official website.
[Via F*** Yeah, Lara Croft!, Thanks, Jose]
Reader Comments (58)
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:07AM CaptainProtonX said
My vote is for "Chesty Boulevard".
I think this gives future strippers a good starting foundation.
Reply
I think this gives future strippers a good starting foundation.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:02PM (Unverified) said
Juicy-Double Avenue.
What? She has a huge butt too!
Reply
What? She has a huge butt too!
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:07AM (Unverified) said
...okay?
I want Master Chief Avenue in Kirkland, Soap McTavish Boulevard by Infinity Ward, and Nathan Drake Lane in Santa Monica.
Reply
I want Master Chief Avenue in Kirkland, Soap McTavish Boulevard by Infinity Ward, and Nathan Drake Lane in Santa Monica.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:25AM (Unverified) said
And I'm not really seeing 'Rex Pima Farms' as a stripper name...
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:09PM (Unverified) said
What about Preston Marlowe Street in Stockholm? Would be awesome!
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:21AM Uphillbothways said
Mine's Killer Shady Oaks.
Sounds like something from a really bad horror film.
Or a really awesome horror film.
At any rate, as I recall it was a horror film.
Reply
Sounds like something from a really bad horror film.
Or a really awesome horror film.
At any rate, as I recall it was a horror film.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:16PM WiNGSPANTT from TopTierTacticsco said
I'm Midnight Newark, and I'm here to clean your drains or deliver a pizza or something.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:59PM Killface was here said
Sally E. Hobcaw. That sounds all sorts of wrong.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:32AM (Unverified) said
So...how many of us gave that picture a longer glance than usual?
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:14AM Shagittarius said
I guess that would make my stripper name, "Spot N.E. 50th".
Thats pretty stupid.
Reply
Thats pretty stupid.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:16AM HydrophobicFish PSN ID Hydrophob said
My stripper name is actually pretty good...
George Pierce.
Reply
George Pierce.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:18AM Debesun said
"They say you can find your stripper name by combining the name of your first pet with the street you grew up on. Keeping that in mind, you may someday find yourself trying to figure out how to politely decline the awkward, compulsory advances of Miss Fluffy Lara Croft"
I doubt it wouldn't be as awkward (and little less polite in declining) if they were approached by someone called "Rat Queen" in my case...
Reply
I doubt it wouldn't be as awkward (and little less polite in declining) if they were approached by someone called "Rat Queen" in my case...
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:29AM CheeziePotato said
I think he must be one of those trolls from that godawful website, 4chan.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:34AM Punkrawk Bbob said
4chan isn't a website, it's a forum.
and it isn't god awful, it's awesome.
Reply
and it isn't god awful, it's awesome.
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:29PM Uncle Jesse said
@CheeziePotato: "I never had a pet :("
You mean you never had a dawg? Wassup?
Reply
You mean you never had a dawg? Wassup?
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:31PM Ryguy226 said
*trying to understand the garbage that wassup dawg wrote*............ wassup dawg, what you have just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:25AM ducttapeBigSexy said
I'd totally become a snow plow driver in Derby just so I can say "I just plowed Lara Croft!"
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 11:56AM TheOtherJames said
Does this road have two large hills? It doesn't seem fitting otherwise.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:25PM thedisagree said
mine is bob birchmere and that just sounds awkward
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:32PM Uncle Jesse said
This is a little off topic, but I just bought Underworld for cheap and it's actually pretty good. I wasn't expecting much, but I'm really enjoying it so far. I guess buying it for next to nothing can also up the enjoyment factor a bit when the game isn't complete shit, but nevertheless, not bad!
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 12:41PM GlennFrank said
Believe it or not - my first pet was a turtle named Spike and I grew up on Cox Ave.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 1:17PM GlennFrank said
I know! I don't think a name like that would be too popular with the ladies I'd be working with.
Reply
Posted: Dec 1st 2009 1:21PM Wiseman2 said
Holy crap, I live in Derby (well I do right now, I go to Uni here), and in all honesty it's a craphole. But then so are a whole load of cities up and down England (damn recession).
Lara Croft Way though? I was never really a Tomb Raider fan but the recognition is quite awesome.
Reply
Lara Croft Way though? I was never really a Tomb Raider fan but the recognition is quite awesome.
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