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Reader Comments (62)

Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:16PM Jerk Face said

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Might I fucking recommend the Giant fucking Bomb Quick Look on this game. It's real mother fucking funny, mother fuckers.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:18PM Dr Acula said

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;D I saw wat u did thar
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:20PM Funkmaster General said

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"Now, I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet."

"Which one is it?"

"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker'"
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:26PM s ls said

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here's a link.. that shit was mother fucking funny as fuck!

http://www.giantbomb.com/quick-look-rogue-warrior/17-1719/
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:50PM BrianH said

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dude i just saw that fucking game, and fucking god damn man, this game seems pretty fucking sub-par, like whothe fuck would think of making this fucking cocksucking game man.

Fuck.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 8:33PM Chris DPSN AggieCEO XBLThe Aggi said

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Solace that was fuckin hilarious
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 8:42PM killdash9 said

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As fun as it was listening to their attempts to stick the F-bomb even in places where it wouldn't fit, the bland gameplay wore on me after a while. Before the clip was over, I clicked through to their Gravity Crash Quick Look. Much less cursing, but much more positive discussion going on, too. I was also impressed by their familiarity with classic vector arcade games. They mentioned Lunar Lander, Gravitar (yes!), Major Havoc, and they pointed out the brightness of the polygon vertices and the resemblance of some foliage to cabinet overlay art. Good stuff! Seeing those two Quick Looks back to back makes for a convincing argument for classic gameplay over new-school lack of soul (not that new school always lacks soul, but this illustrated that stand well).
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 9:03PM Sinkwater said

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I love how no one is playing online.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 10:06PM Jerk Face said

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The best part:

President Reagan says 'fuck you.'

LOLOL
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 10:18PM Svenhoek said

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President Reagan says Fuck You.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:18PM Dr Acula said

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KA-FAIL!
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 8:00PM Bobthebuilder said

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Hard to believe these are the same guys that made Fallout 3 and the TES series.. Different team perhaps?
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 8:13PM (Unverified) said

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Bethesda didn't make it. They only published it.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:18PM Funkmaster General said

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Holy crap, look at those scores!
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Posted: Dec 4th 2009 11:15PM shadowj0 said

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Exactly what I was thinking... these are the lowest since forever.

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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:22PM aRcane said

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Bargain bin in the next 2 weeks.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:26PM I AM IRONHIDE said

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More like the Shit bin.
Other items bundled with "Rogue Warrior" include: The BIBLE Game, Elf Bowling 1 & 2, and Atari Classics: E.T. the Extra Terrestrial.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 9:06PM Foetoid said

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E.T The Extra Terrestrial: HD Remix


DO WANT.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:22PM Frostblade10 said

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Honestly, I'm not surprised in the least... From the moment I looked at the "SEGA" logo, I lost hope for the game.

Though, I didn't even realize that Bethesda made it; in that regard, i am surprised.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 9:31PM JXCGunrunna said

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Dear Joystiq,
If someone says two stupid things, can we have two downvote buttons?
Love,
Me
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:22PM Ezio Auditore da Firenze said

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Wow, this might actually beat Tony Hawk Ride for worst meta score...
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:22PM (Unverified) said

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Geez! This makes Avatar's average scores look like GotY scores! It's like they didn't even try!
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:23PM sammuniz7 said

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Uhh....am i the only one here who has never heard ANYTHING about this game?

Like, its existance for starters?
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 10:18PM kojo87 said

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Steam told me to pre-order it a few weeks ago. then i saw a tv ad. then i saw this.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:23PM (Unverified) said

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This game will rock my socks off.
[/sarcasm]
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:23PM s ls said

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dayum! when Petz is better than your game that's when you know you suck!
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:32PM context said

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How do they ever dare to compare it to hitman!
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:32PM (Unverified) said

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Seriously, Hitman: Blood Money is one of the best games ever.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:26PM KungFuChaosNinja said

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Rented this game and it blows hard. This is one of biggest and most janky pieces of crap I've played in quite a long time. Avoid this 2-3 hour long disaster that retails for $59.99 MSRP.

After this and Shellshock 2, I feel that Rebellion may be the next developer to go, unless the new AVP is that good, of course.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:27PM Premature ejaculation man said

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GoTY
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:33PM Shadowbender said

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You're stating the obvious.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:30PM DeadpooI said

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This game does not deserve less than a two as it is not worse than Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:34PM (Unverified) said

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You're Winner!
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Posted: Dec 4th 2009 10:48PM (Unverified) said

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...yes but you'll always be a loser.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:30PM Shadowbender said

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I would love to see a Dev Diary of this, so that I could laugh my crapper off at how proud the developers are of this game.

So would it be appropriate to say EPIC FAIL?
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:32PM context said

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Game creators aren't idiots they know when they have worked on a failed project.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:36PM Shadowbender said

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I beg to differ. I've seen numerous devs that were very proud of an embarrassingly terrible game.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 9:43PM ILLEGALWARRIOR said

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Too Human any 1? ...
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 10:10PM (Unverified) said

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You shut your damn mouth about Too Human. I put a lot of time into that game and the online community was awesome.

I would honestly give Too Human a 7 out of 10, but unfortunately Dyack (probably while drunk) had to go and piss of the Gaf hive mind and then the gaming websites all tried to one up the other with who could write the most scathing review.

On topic, I really want to play this game. I don't understand why. It's like how I have to rent every single Uwe Boll movie.

...

I like train wrecks.
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Posted: Dec 4th 2009 7:08AM Granger said

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Here's the game you're looking for, now kindly leave Too Human be.

http://www.gametrailers.com/game/damnation/6381
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:30PM (Unverified) said

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Wow the game that looked bad from the beginning is bad? Well I'll be, color me surprised.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:30PM Puertoricarious said

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never even heard of this game.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:44PM Cthulhupal said

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They should have just cut their losses, halting the game in development, and used the money to publish a decent game that deserves a release, like six days in fallujah.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:46PM BananaBoat said

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When Duke Nukem met Demo Dick:

Dick: I'm the baddest mother fucker in town.
Duke: I'm going to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum.
Dick: You better not test me bitch or I'll rip your fucking heart out.
Duke: Balllllllllsssssss of steeeeeeeeel
Dick: What the fuck? Don't fuck with me.
Duke: I've got Ballllllllllllsssssssss of steeeeeeeeeel
Dick: Hey fuckface, I'm going to tear your steel balls off
Duke: Ballllllllllllls of Steel
Dick: Seriously! Fucking stop it asshole!
Duke: Balls of...
Dick: FUCKING KNOCK IT
Duke: Balls Balls Balls Balls Balls OF STEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL
Dick: That's it. Fuck this. I don't have to put up with this shi-
Duke: I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!
Dick: Ok, ok, you win, ok, fuck, my game fucking sucks, ok? You happy?
Duke: .....balls of steel
Dick: ARGHHHHHHHHH *BANG* X_X
Duke: Huh...he blew it out his ass.

(I apologize for the preceding non-sequitur, and I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming)
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Posted: Dec 4th 2009 8:26AM xGeneral DEATHxDEETH82 said

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Ventrilo Harassment, Demo Dick style. +1
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 8:23PM (Unverified) said

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My ASM and I at Gamestop laughed our asses off when we saw the box art- you wouldn't even believe how terrible it is.

The front image/text is /pixellated/ and the screens on the back look like they're from a PS1 game.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:48PM JuanLovesHorror said

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Here people thought KZ2 had too much profanity; this game broke and created is own barrier.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:51PM Mr Slayer said

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First day purchase.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:54PM (Unverified) said

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Triggerman of the generation.
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Posted: Dec 3rd 2009 7:54PM Cthulhupal said

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well I guess this game is gonna be useful for just one thing: Mickey Rourke soundboards.
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