College Humor introduces us to Tetrises, the God of Tetris. Witness his terrible glory after the break. Just remember that the next time you pray for a line piece, you actually have someone to address. And, if you're looking for some extra luck, you might consider slaughtering a lesser puzzle game to appease him.
Where does the next Tetris block really come from?
51
Perhaps, in the past, during a rousing round of Tetris, you may have found yourself in an existential funk. "Where does the next block come from?" you mused. Sure, it's easy enough to pin your extraordinary luck (or misfortune) on the wonders of random generation, but what if it wasn't so simple? What if the real source of your bliss and/or frustration was more ... divine?
College Humor introduces us to Tetrises, the God of Tetris. Witness his terrible glory after the break. Just remember that the next time you pray for a line piece, you actually have someone to address. And, if you're looking for some extra luck, you might consider slaughtering a lesser puzzle game to appease him.
College Humor introduces us to Tetrises, the God of Tetris. Witness his terrible glory after the break. Just remember that the next time you pray for a line piece, you actually have someone to address. And, if you're looking for some extra luck, you might consider slaughtering a lesser puzzle game to appease him.
Reader Comments (51)
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:03PM CaptainProtonX said
Uuuuuuuu...nope.
This never came to mind.
Not once...in over 20 years. Ever.
Reply
This never came to mind.
Not once...in over 20 years. Ever.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:38PM CaptainProtonX said
@ E.J.
Thank you for turning off your sarcas-o-meter.
Reply
Thank you for turning off your sarcas-o-meter.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:08PM Digital Viking said
It all makes perfect sense now. Finally a God I believe can exist. It would at least explain a bit.
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:14PM Chris DPSN AggieCEO XBLThe Aggi said
as opposed to Zeus throwing down lightening or Aphrodite causing people to wanna fuck?
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:17PM Digital Viking said
No... I think they are mentioned in books, and you can't believe everything you read :/ This is a video though, totally different.
But if you find a book mentioning the Tetris God, you be sure to tell me.
Reply
But if you find a book mentioning the Tetris God, you be sure to tell me.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:47PM Peter Moore said
The square pieces never get love, but they've helped by ass too many times to count.
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:12PM Chris DPSN AggieCEO XBLThe Aggi said
funny....but nowhere NEAR as funny as the Sims one they did
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMXME2pm83c
Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMXME2pm83c
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:23PM Morisato13 said
Sorry but the later years series trump all current suggestions and well as future suggestions.
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:24PM GewurztraminerX said
I always presumed Tetris blocks to be made of Soylent Green
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 2:30PM shibathedog said
that was pretty funny. Doesn't the game pick the next piece based on how much difficulty it thinks your having with each piece? I think I read somewhere that if you move pieces around a lot before locking it in place the game thinks you are having trouble with it. So you can cheat by moving the line piece around a ton every time you get one and then you get them a lot more often. It seems to work for me.
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 3:06PM TheOtherJames said
One the 1,034,578th loop he said
BlockSprite nextBlock = new BlockSprite(rand.Next(7));
and there was a new block.
Reply
BlockSprite nextBlock = new BlockSprite(rand.Next(7));
and there was a new block.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 3:13PM ducttapeBigSexy said
When I was little, I wondered if the blocks were truly random, or if the game was giving me specific blocks based on my current situation.
I was kind of hoping this would be a real article saying the latter...
(Although, I guess since computers never truly generate random numbers, I guess it's neither.)
Reply
I was kind of hoping this would be a real article saying the latter...
(Although, I guess since computers never truly generate random numbers, I guess it's neither.)
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 3:17PM The Artist Formerly known as Jes said
oh man, that'd be such a cool way to play Tetris multiplayer.
One person decides the next blocks while the other has to survive. Then take turns to see who can survive the longest.
Reply
One person decides the next blocks while the other has to survive. Then take turns to see who can survive the longest.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 4:35PM Ballistic3188 said
to be your kill joy. they found that teris can't be play infinitely as if you alternate s and z blocks it will end in a kill screen. hence the why your multiplayer idea would fail and would end up being the second player would just give you s and z block till you die.
Reply
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 10:33PM (Unverified) said
"a philosophical attitude ... that stresses the individual's unique position as a self-determining agent responsible for the authenticity of his or her choices."
I don't know how anyone could read that and not instantly think of Tetris.
Reply
I don't know how anyone could read that and not instantly think of Tetris.
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 10:48PM Padilla7921 said
Because existentialism has nothing to do with wondering where the next Tetris piece comes from.
Reply
Posted: Dec 9th 2009 9:00AM (Unverified) said
I was making a joke there. Anyhway, the word "existential" doesn't necessarily refer to existentialism. In this particular post, it simply means "pertaining to existence."
Or, possibly, "pertaining to the film eXistenZ."
Reply
Or, possibly, "pertaining to the film eXistenZ."
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 4:28PM Snjo said
I looked up how the pieces are selected while making a tetris clone. It makes a 'bag' containing all seven unique pieces in a random order, gives them to you, ande then makes a neew bag. So the line piece can come two times in a row at most, and never with more than 12 pieces in between them. But twelve pieces can feel like a long time.
This is of course assuming you are playing an atheistic version of tetris, taunting almighty Tetrises, and forfeiting your life!
Reply
This is of course assuming you are playing an atheistic version of tetris, taunting almighty Tetrises, and forfeiting your life!
Posted: Dec 8th 2009 11:17PM (Unverified) said
These kids went to my high school. Ugh is all I say to their multiple videos of mediocrity.
Reply
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