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Reader Comments (25)

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:34PM (Unverified) said

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Are you kidding me?

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:35PM TheDarkWayne said

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Guarantee at least 15 pages of "ZEUS! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS!!"

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:37PM Waffle Slayer said

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Probably going to be a romance novel.

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:39PM TraceurRyuk Prepping for LBP2 said

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"GRAAAGGHHHH ARES!!!" Kratos roared. He then proceded down the road in search of Pandora's box. Ripping countless undead in two with his bare hands. "ARES WILL PAY!!!" Kratos yelled once again as he was ripping a Cyclop's eye out. He then stumbled across a series of switches, left, right, left, left, he turned; jumping to another platform before the time runs out. "AREEEEESSSS!!!"

End of chapter one

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:48PM Falcon6 said

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Chapter Two

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR"

End of chapter two.
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Posted: May 12th 2010 1:21PM 831 Son said

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Hey guys, which chapter does Kratos say "By the gods"?
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Posted: May 11th 2010 10:47PM CaptainProtonX said

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Let me guess. Kratos is really angry.

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:59PM BPMOmega XBL PSN Steam said

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Spoiler alert: he kills a lot of people.
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Posted: May 11th 2010 11:14PM Special Agent Steve said

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$20 says he's happy at some point- you know, when he kills everyone.
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Posted: May 11th 2010 10:48PM (Unverified) said

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Screw the dialog, I'll bet the author had a lot of fun writing about the gruesome detail of Kratos tearing the hearts out of his enemies.

Posted: May 11th 2010 10:56PM dtkach87 said

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“Harpies,” Kratos growled. He hated harpies.

Posted: May 11th 2010 11:03PM TraceurRyuk Prepping for LBP2 said

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I actually laughed out loud at that...
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Posted: May 11th 2010 10:57PM Emyrs said

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if you guys have never read any Matthew Stover, youre missing out! Stover is the MASTER of gruesome, visceral violence wrapped in excellent story telling. Check out his other books Heroes Must Die, Blade of Tyshalle, and Caine Black Knife. He also wrote a Star Wars novel a few years ago..

Im going to buy this but not because of the gow theme but because Stover is one of the best at this style of writing.

Posted: May 12th 2010 1:23PM 831 Son said

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You must look like a fine man reading those books on the train.
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Posted: May 11th 2010 11:07PM ch3burashka said

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This is impossibly hilarious, even in theory. It's ridiculous to such a degree that I'm genuinely interested to read it.

Posted: May 11th 2010 11:35PM (Unverified) said

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On one hand, this is ridiculous and kind of funny.

On the other hand... Emyrs is right. Stover is a great writer, and can take EU properties and make them awesome and original (He wrote three brilliant Star Wars novels. Seriously. Read them. They're good.).

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Posted: May 11th 2010 11:43PM Chulipin said

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While Kratos was doing his usual routine of the death carrousel, he heard a choir coming out of nowhere singing:
HOLD DEVIL'S POT OF TEA
HOLD DEVIL'S POT OF TEA
HOLD DEVIL'S POT OF TEA
HOLD DEVIL'S POT OF TEA MULAN!

Posted: May 12th 2010 12:01AM Grey said

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i'm going to f'n kill you. I just forgot about that sh*t. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Posted: May 12th 2010 12:14AM Chulipin said

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For the 3 of you out there who don't know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_AJmVWF2LI
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Posted: May 11th 2010 11:46PM TheMichaelJackson said

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Zeus, me and my buddy Michael Jackson will "Beat It" and make you "Scream," said Kratos. "Give In To Me" now or I'll guarantee you'll "Remember the Time" I beat your ass so bad. I'm a "Smooth Criminal," bitch, I'm just so "Bad," and I "Don't Stop 'Till I Get Enough."

"Can You Feel It," said Kratos as he viciously jammed his blade into Zeus, I hate "The Way You Make Me Feel."


Buy "The Great Adventures of Kratos and Michael Jackson" coming soon to your local bookstore for more.

Posted: May 12th 2010 1:13AM (Unverified) said

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Little late for April Fools. Don't ya think?

Posted: May 12th 2010 7:26AM Spunky Monkey 190906 said

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Chapter 1

And Kratos was angry, he ripped apart a harpie

Chapter 2

His anger continued, he impaled a minotaur

Chapter 3

He fell into hell but escaped

Chapter 4

He ripped apart a Cyclops

Chapter 5

He impaled Zeus

THE END

Posted: May 12th 2010 8:06AM lSpam said

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The Iliad, The Odyssey, The Aeneid

This epic novel will stand with them

Posted: May 12th 2010 8:46AM PedoJokerBear said

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X, O L1. end of chapter 1.

Posted: May 12th 2010 3:43PM letherclad said

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I can't resist the absurdity, I have to get this!

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