Look, we really wanted to write a harsh diatribe about the University of Central Florida's federally-funded game development project: An Avatar-esque edu-game that teaches young girls to ignore the sexual advances of their contemporaries. We wanted to talk about all the things that $434,000 of taxpayer's money could have been spent on, or how silly of a concept a motion-controlled abstinence game really is. Unfortunately, our spite turned to pure, unbridled glee after watching this Fox News Report on the project.
Between the news-friendly gaming lingo ("digital puppetry," "jumping into the skin," "interactors," etc.) and the contorted, soulless husks that comprise the game's cast of sexually aware characters, the video -- posted just after the jump -- is a comedy goldmine. Dig in, gang.
Reader Comments (81)
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 3:34PM TrudeauTheJust said
@Zombieman007
Hahaha...I'll give you a trophy for making me laugh
Reply
Hahaha...I'll give you a trophy for making me laugh
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 1:53PM The Joy of Cooking DeMat said
I wonder where the other $433,500 went after they spent $500 developing this game.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:13PM Johnnynumber5 is powered by cell said
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:15PM The Tim said
Name it Virginville and put it on Facebook. Million fans, day one
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:24PM makattack said
They need to release this on PS Home... that'll stop all the dancing.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:24PM Fuzunga said
Wow. Kinect has better motion capture technology than that crap. Hell of a lot cheaper, too. In fact, they should make a game for that instead. They could save probably thousands of dolars.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:36PM AHowell said
Awesome, this game is on the news while we are creating ACTUAL games at UCF.. Oh and i seriously doubt that this "sex-awareness" "game" is worth the $434,000 tax payer dollars put into it. We should have made Shadows of Abigail a game teaching young kids to stay away from clowns.. OH WAIT WE DID.
Seriously turns me the wrong way that this game is getting press while us here at FIEA (UCF's grad school program for game design) are making REAL games that are ACTUALLY getting published.. seriously, check out the link..
http://www.shadowsofabigail.com - our UCF game.. not the sex teaching one..
Seriously turns me the wrong way that this game is getting press while us here at FIEA (UCF's grad school program for game design) are making REAL games that are ACTUALLY getting published.. seriously, check out the link..
http://www.shadowsofabigail.com - our UCF game.. not the sex teaching one..
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:37PM mietha said
Ok, first off, I'm pretty sure If you are making a game ABOUT sex, that you have actually have had it at some point, and it's a damn safe bet that she has never been close. Secondly, um, yeah, most indie games on the 360 look way better than that. And lastly, I'm pretty sure that any victum they strap in that thing and torture with, will immediately go have sex, to try to forget the experience. Where the **** is a federal oversight committee when you need one? Oh wait, I forgot, this is Florida...
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:39PM EechuTah said
@Noksukow,
No thanks.
I'll buy a Kinect, thank you very much!
No thanks.
I'll buy a Kinect, thank you very much!
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:48PM Basevi said
Points are rewarded for saying no? Will there be leader boards then? Cause I'd be at the very bottom of it lol.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 2:55PM Bigglesbee said
I went to UCF and also was a major in the Digital Media program. I've no idea what happened since I've been gone, but this kind of thing never went down when I attended school there :P.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 3:27PM Gemini Ace said
Isn't "motion-controlled abstinence game" a synonym for masturbation?
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 3:32PM robotoid said
I heard there's a hidden minigame called Hot Coffee.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 3:58PM b33fdove said
This better be a free download at some point
I NEED to play it
I NEED to play it
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 4:12PM LiqwidZero said
That woman looks just like the Abstinence speaker that came to my school a long while back.
What's funny is that, when I asked her how many kids she has, she said, "Eight." We continued on, and she just ended it and left. lol
What's funny is that, when I asked her how many kids she has, she said, "Eight." We continued on, and she just ended it and left. lol
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 4:19PM pax copia said
@Noksukow
I agree. They could have bought a lot of birth control with that money.
I agree. They could have bought a lot of birth control with that money.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 4:49PM greggoo said
@Monkey D Luffy
lol my girlfriend agrees that call of duty is an abstinence game
lol my girlfriend agrees that call of duty is an abstinence game
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 4:58PM gatotsu911 said
I'm not sure what I find creepier: the horrifying cyber-abominations in the "game", or the woman who created it.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 5:12PM Rupee said
Ya cause like, teen chicks with a bunch of babies is like the hottest thing evah.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 5:20PM gatotsu911 said
Also, am I the only one who thinks the game looks like a cheap-ass version of Killer7?
In fact, here is K7's stance on abstinence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_lQSnXhd-s (relevant scene is roughly 3:30 in)
Those Satanic marionettes and their blank, soulless stares are far more disturbing than anything Suda 51 could imagine, though.
In fact, here is K7's stance on abstinence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_lQSnXhd-s (relevant scene is roughly 3:30 in)
Those Satanic marionettes and their blank, soulless stares are far more disturbing than anything Suda 51 could imagine, though.
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 5:59PM Asakura H said
Hahaha, oh the mocap part was so utterly ridiculous it made me laugh so much. Like kids gonna listen to this game when so many other are miles better and fun.
Besides, that woman news anchor's so hot that I already forget about abstinence
Besides, that woman news anchor's so hot that I already forget about abstinence
Posted: Jul 28th 2010 6:27PM Biko said
Lol. As soon as I saw Fox, I knew something was up.
Although, this is the most poor, ridiculous and funny thing I've seen today!!
Although, this is the most poor, ridiculous and funny thing I've seen today!!
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 12:22AM GuardianLegend said
Shoulda just used some dating sim engine. Probably would've cost a couple thousand bucks.
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 1:53AM tgunnr said
that's just creepy. i'll stick with being a whore.
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 4:47AM vdv2020 said
Just use the money to buy games for boys and you might have better results.
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 10:30AM jumpshot said
uncanny valley effect eat your heart out
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 11:40AM EleCat said
I don't know, guys. Video games can be very effective at teaching about this kind of thing. I mean, I learned everything I know about relationships from playing Harvest Moon when I was a kid.
Get up early, meet her at the hot springs, and hand her boiled eggs, berries you scavenged from the woods, and bird feathers until she agrees to marry you. Then get a bigger house and give her even more boiled eggs and she'll get pregnant. Thirty days later? Baby.
Surely abstinence is an even simpler concept: Keep the eggs in your rucksack. Or sell them for profit. Just keep them away from the womenfolk.
Get up early, meet her at the hot springs, and hand her boiled eggs, berries you scavenged from the woods, and bird feathers until she agrees to marry you. Then get a bigger house and give her even more boiled eggs and she'll get pregnant. Thirty days later? Baby.
Surely abstinence is an even simpler concept: Keep the eggs in your rucksack. Or sell them for profit. Just keep them away from the womenfolk.
Posted: Jul 29th 2010 7:04PM ABigFatGeek said
This video seems oddly familiar...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDzXqK4fh-A
"You ever wonder what the bottom of an avatar's shoe looks like?
Well BAM - there it is!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDzXqK4fh-A
"You ever wonder what the bottom of an avatar's shoe looks like?
Well BAM - there it is!"
Posted: Jul 30th 2010 9:56AM Soniquev8 said
Obviously made for girls who probably don't play games in the first place, placing young boys as the enemy and the only real way to win will be for them to say "NO!"
Either that or give them a BFG9000... you know, a BoyFriendGun9000? AH HA HA HA, I kill me!
Either that or give them a BFG9000... you know, a BoyFriendGun9000? AH HA HA HA, I kill me!
Featured Stories
Super Joystiq Podcast 004: 38 Studios meltdown, Gravity Rush, Civilization 5: Gods & Kings, Dragon's Dogma
Posted on May 25th 2012 3:30PM





