It has come to my attention that you intend to launch a new downloadable PlayStation 3 game, dubbed "Dead Nation
," on Tuesday, November 30 in North America (and December 1 in Europe). Based on what I have read on various video game blogs and e-podiums, the Housemarque-developed game offers the opportunity to annihilate necrotic ne'er-do-wells in a collapsed and imbalanced society.
Since this video game has not yet launched, I'm sure there's time yet for you to examine my exciting proposal! Indeed, I hope to correct the imbalance within our own society caused by the cultural overexposure of the living dead, who are now present in television shows, novels, comic books, talk shows and a handful of video games. Isn't it about time you challenged gamers with a worthy foe, and one that doesn't simply covet brains for its nutritional benefits? I'm talking about The B.E.A.N. Replanting Initiative (T.B.R.I.).
Why pander to your players with pale, unintelligible humans -- with whom they are intimately familiar with! -- when you could send in the:
ugs! Equipped with monstrous mandibles, thrilling thoraxes and loads of legs!
xtraterrestrials! They came to boil our oceans, disintegrate our cities and zap our way of life!
liens! I guess we covered this one!
azis! History's most hated villains and most reliable, no-strings-attached targets for unrepentant violence!
As you can see, the classic monsters have a lot of life left in them, which is more than you can say for zombies, because they aren't alive at all. With your cooperation, we can put them back in the spotlight. If you'd like, I'd be more than willing to consult on your enemy replacement initiative. Everyone at the B.E.A.N. Replanting Initiative would be more than happy to introduce bugs into your game, or help German-ate your assets.
Leonard K. Trubb
The B.E.A.N. Replanting Initiative (T.B.R.I.)