The first time around, Bulletstorm poked fun at Halo 3's famous "Believe" diorama commercial; this time, it's Activision's Call of Duty series, which is reimagined as a free downloadable game dubbed "Duty Calls." You can download the 758MB game file directly from thedutycalls.com (or from our sister site Big Download, if that's more your speed), but we should warn you: You'll need at least 512MB of RAM, a 2+ Ghz CPU, 8GB of hard drive space, eighteen sound cards, three CD-ROM drives, and a subwoofer to play it. So we've done you a solid: Clamber past the break to watch the full four-minute walkthrough.
Duty Calls: Bulletstorm spoofs Call of Duty with free game (and we've got the full walkthrough vid)
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If Bulletstorm's ad campaign teaches you one thing, it's this: Someone on development team People Can Fly came up with the term "dick-tits" and they put it in a video game. If it teaches you two things, it's the "dick-tits" thing and the fact that Bulletstorm shouldn't be compared to other popular shooters. Yes, if you're reading the contextual clues (smarty), the inclusion of "dick-tits" in the game may have told you that already, but in case you're really thick, the devs have created another expensive spoof for you.
The first time around, Bulletstorm poked fun at Halo 3's famous "Believe" diorama commercial; this time, it's Activision's Call of Duty series, which is reimagined as a free downloadable game dubbed "Duty Calls." You can download the 758MB game file directly from thedutycalls.com (or from our sister site Big Download, if that's more your speed), but we should warn you: You'll need at least 512MB of RAM, a 2+ Ghz CPU, 8GB of hard drive space, eighteen sound cards, three CD-ROM drives, and a subwoofer to play it. So we've done you a solid: Clamber past the break to watch the full four-minute walkthrough.
The first time around, Bulletstorm poked fun at Halo 3's famous "Believe" diorama commercial; this time, it's Activision's Call of Duty series, which is reimagined as a free downloadable game dubbed "Duty Calls." You can download the 758MB game file directly from thedutycalls.com (or from our sister site Big Download, if that's more your speed), but we should warn you: You'll need at least 512MB of RAM, a 2+ Ghz CPU, 8GB of hard drive space, eighteen sound cards, three CD-ROM drives, and a subwoofer to play it. So we've done you a solid: Clamber past the break to watch the full four-minute walkthrough.
Reader Comments (122)
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:34PM BrianReal said
The video thing just showed me a lipstick commercial before the video...
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:35PM Dudimus24 said
BLOODY SCREEN! SO REAL! Hahaha. I can't wait for this game!
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 3:30PM Victoryismine52 said
@Dudimus24
You can not stop me unless the game goes into slow motion for some reason... is it weird that this trailer just made my anticipation for this game go thru the roof?
Reply
You can not stop me unless the game goes into slow motion for some reason... is it weird that this trailer just made my anticipation for this game go thru the roof?
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:35PM Nirvash Planeteer Power of Capt said
*Awaits incoming lawsuit from Activision*
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 5:21PM Nirvash Planeteer Power of Capt said
@i77ogical
Not a buzzkill, just making a joke out of Activisions apparent need to sue everyone and everything.
Reply
Not a buzzkill, just making a joke out of Activisions apparent need to sue everyone and everything.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:36PM RedViv said
That was grand. Sums up my feelings about what CoD has become since Modern Warfare nicely.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:36PM Faceless Troll said
I'm pretty sure dick-tits is just a variant of "shitting dick-nipples."
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:37PM Cleric said
One bro game making fun of another? Both are pretty childish.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 6:08PM PN04 said
@DevilSei
...And THEN someone said something about being in a real war.
C'mon people it's all just fun and games. Anyone who's really a fan of CoD knows this isnt really an accurate representation and has nothing to get uptight over, Actually I'd like to see these guys take on some other FPS games... but then again they're really all the same anyway so what does it matter. The only new thing any of these games has added in the last 15 years is the use of slow mo and even bulletstorm is guilty of it.
Just enjoy your game and laugh at the pissing contests rather than comparing your own "gun size".
Reply
...And THEN someone said something about being in a real war.
C'mon people it's all just fun and games. Anyone who's really a fan of CoD knows this isnt really an accurate representation and has nothing to get uptight over, Actually I'd like to see these guys take on some other FPS games... but then again they're really all the same anyway so what does it matter. The only new thing any of these games has added in the last 15 years is the use of slow mo and even bulletstorm is guilty of it.
Just enjoy your game and laugh at the pissing contests rather than comparing your own "gun size".
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:40PM dudes113 said
"download the 758MB game file"
"8GB of hard drive space"
..........?
"8GB of hard drive space"
..........?
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:41PM Ezio Auditore da Firenze said
What is it they say, about imitation and flattery.. hmm...
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 5:47PM Brian Griffin said
@Ezio Auditore da Firenze
Agreed. And attacking an existing brand is not the most sound/effective way to define your own. Not entirely sure what the big deal about Bulletstorm is--the demo was average at best. Oh well, to each their own.
Reply
Agreed. And attacking an existing brand is not the most sound/effective way to define your own. Not entirely sure what the big deal about Bulletstorm is--the demo was average at best. Oh well, to each their own.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:42PM SuperWoody64 said
I was kind of hoping the guy we were playing as, master master sergeant of important sergeants, was going to get lassoed and shot in the throat.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:45PM (Unverified) said
"BLOOD SCREEN!(SO REAL)"
lost is so bad at that
lost is so bad at that
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:46PM Burnflare said
It's funny because, even though it's completely exaggerated, it's all true.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:47PM DaDragonsFire said
Funny how I was just playing "Lag of Camping" last night on their new maps saying the same thing... Boring. Two thumbs up with fireworks for Bulletstorm. Thanks for making me laugh I plan on doing more when the game comes out.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:50PM Hong Dong said
Great sum up of the CoD series where it's at.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:51PM iHavePants said
Some parts of this are kind of ironic considering the amount of in your face stats and "blood on your face" that Bulletstorm involves, though that's somewhat negated by the lack of any super cerealness.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:51PM Gaddes said
Pretty funny, but they should be careful... parody works both ways.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:51PM shimrra74 said
LOL
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:51PM SaucyGit said
If Call of Duty only had a ream of wide ruled paper . Ugh they tease so..
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:51PM Ryuk said
I'm buying this game now. I now have full respect for People Can Fly and they're immature sense of humor. it's fun!
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 3:33PM Victoryismine52 said
@Ryuk
I was seriously going to let this one go by but after this trailer I may just pick this up when I go in to pick up KZ3 at midnight
Reply
I was seriously going to let this one go by but after this trailer I may just pick this up when I go in to pick up KZ3 at midnight
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:52PM ShivanSwordsman said
Aye, that was pretty funny. Of course, it means nothing if the game itself is terrible, and I've learned from my past mistakes. No demo? Not buying. Dmos for all platforms except PC? That's taking a leak in my eye, and I'm sick of being treated like a second class citizen.
Sad thing? They actually hired one of my favorite voice actors ever, Steven Jay Blum. At least, I'm pretty sure that's him... Ah well. I don't think this'll sell well for the little kiddies either, as they like to be the ones that shout this stuff over mic. In hindsight, maybe they actually did me a favor.
Sad thing? They actually hired one of my favorite voice actors ever, Steven Jay Blum. At least, I'm pretty sure that's him... Ah well. I don't think this'll sell well for the little kiddies either, as they like to be the ones that shout this stuff over mic. In hindsight, maybe they actually did me a favor.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 11:06PM ShivanSwordsman said
@mrmojoz
Our console MADE your consoles, AND made the games that you play on. I would hush about how terrible our platform is compared to yours. Our graphics look better, our sound is better, we can tweak and customize without lawsuits flying out the rear at us, and we don't need a "Live" membership or a "Plus" membership to get on the internet, or get the most out of our internet connection.
Our games also tend to be cheaper and get put on sale more often. In fact, the real reason that they hate giving PC users is because we like to modify and play around with games, and build long lasting communities around them, rather than just grabbing the next $60 patch released the year after like in the Call of Duty series.
So please, go on. Tell me about how successful and wonderful your consoles are. We've been selling since there was a such thing as "Personal Computers". How long has your console been on the market, and when are you going to have to replace it with a new model that won't even be backwards compatible with the past games in the library? I can still play games from the 1990s. How about you?
Reply
Our console MADE your consoles, AND made the games that you play on. I would hush about how terrible our platform is compared to yours. Our graphics look better, our sound is better, we can tweak and customize without lawsuits flying out the rear at us, and we don't need a "Live" membership or a "Plus" membership to get on the internet, or get the most out of our internet connection.
Our games also tend to be cheaper and get put on sale more often. In fact, the real reason that they hate giving PC users is because we like to modify and play around with games, and build long lasting communities around them, rather than just grabbing the next $60 patch released the year after like in the Call of Duty series.
So please, go on. Tell me about how successful and wonderful your consoles are. We've been selling since there was a such thing as "Personal Computers". How long has your console been on the market, and when are you going to have to replace it with a new model that won't even be backwards compatible with the past games in the library? I can still play games from the 1990s. How about you?
Posted: Feb 3rd 2011 7:46AM sonicspike41 said
@ShivanSwordsman
"Our consoles" have had major games on them longer than most PCs. Outside of text adventures PC games didn't pick up much until Windows 95. Meanwhile Atari, Nintendo, and many others already had many game consoles out in the wild.
Anyone who owns a Wii can still play the majority of older games, or they could just keep their original console in decent working order. Windows 7 x64 won't play any games that use 16bit installers. Half the older games require patches or unofficial bugfixes to work. Many of them still suffer the same problems they originally did and don't benefit from the new hardware. Many of them require third-party programs or emulators to run. Many of them just won't run at all. If you want to be able to enjoy as many as possible you're going to need Windows 7 x64 and Windows XP x86.
You're also going to have to deal with a lot more hackers, modded maps, and unfair/uneven team-based multiplayer matches as people constantly join/leave the server.
I'm not saying PC gaming is even remotely bad or not worth it, but if you're going to act elitist at least realize when you're plain wrong about certain points.
Reply
"Our consoles" have had major games on them longer than most PCs. Outside of text adventures PC games didn't pick up much until Windows 95. Meanwhile Atari, Nintendo, and many others already had many game consoles out in the wild.
Anyone who owns a Wii can still play the majority of older games, or they could just keep their original console in decent working order. Windows 7 x64 won't play any games that use 16bit installers. Half the older games require patches or unofficial bugfixes to work. Many of them still suffer the same problems they originally did and don't benefit from the new hardware. Many of them require third-party programs or emulators to run. Many of them just won't run at all. If you want to be able to enjoy as many as possible you're going to need Windows 7 x64 and Windows XP x86.
You're also going to have to deal with a lot more hackers, modded maps, and unfair/uneven team-based multiplayer matches as people constantly join/leave the server.
I'm not saying PC gaming is even remotely bad or not worth it, but if you're going to act elitist at least realize when you're plain wrong about certain points.
Posted: Feb 7th 2011 7:11PM Drakkenfyre said
@sonicspike41
"Outside of text adventures games didn't pick up until Windows 95"
I think you were born a little too late to realize how many games started out on DOS.
Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Duke Nukem, Quake. System Shock, WarCraft 1, WarCraft 2.
And that's just a few.
"or they could just keep their original console in decent working order."
That logic works both ways. If you want to play an older game that doesn't run on Windows Vista or up, you can keep an older system. Many people do, specifically for DOS games. Older Glide games still run better under Glide than Direct3D of the day, so some people kept 3dfx systems specifically for this.
Reply
"Outside of text adventures games didn't pick up until Windows 95"
I think you were born a little too late to realize how many games started out on DOS.
Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Duke Nukem, Quake. System Shock, WarCraft 1, WarCraft 2.
And that's just a few.
"or they could just keep their original console in decent working order."
That logic works both ways. If you want to play an older game that doesn't run on Windows Vista or up, you can keep an older system. Many people do, specifically for DOS games. Older Glide games still run better under Glide than Direct3D of the day, so some people kept 3dfx systems specifically for this.
Posted: Feb 8th 2011 4:07PM sonicspike41 said
@Drakkenfyre
I realized the DOS aspect shortly after posting. I used to play XCOM: TFTD more than I can remember despite how hard it was.
Wolfenstein 3D was released in 1992, about 9 years after the NES. Most of the rest of the games you listed were released after that.
Before the NES there were other home consoles too. In fact, arcades were also quite popular and had many advancements in early games. Popular affordable PC gaming (I'm not going to count any games built on university computers, that would be silly when discussing mass-market gaming) didn't start until the very late 80s/early 90s, well after consoles and arcades had made gaming popular.
Reply
I realized the DOS aspect shortly after posting. I used to play XCOM: TFTD more than I can remember despite how hard it was.
Wolfenstein 3D was released in 1992, about 9 years after the NES. Most of the rest of the games you listed were released after that.
Before the NES there were other home consoles too. In fact, arcades were also quite popular and had many advancements in early games. Popular affordable PC gaming (I'm not going to count any games built on university computers, that would be silly when discussing mass-market gaming) didn't start until the very late 80s/early 90s, well after consoles and arcades had made gaming popular.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:53PM iceveiled said
I'm all for spoofs, but for a game that uses the line "it's not gonna preorder itself, dicktits", to take shots at a game that sold in one day what your game will ever sell period, seems kinda like.....
a bad decision maybe?
a bad decision maybe?
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 6:40PM Schlecht said
@iceveiled Hey, no other game has ever told me to preorder a game while at the same time calling me dicktits. That alone made my head explode at its awesomeness.
After scraping my brain off the ceiling, I immediately drove to Best Buy and preordered it.
Reply
After scraping my brain off the ceiling, I immediately drove to Best Buy and preordered it.
Posted: Feb 2nd 2011 2:59PM maver1ck89 said
SNSFW (can't believe you've never heard of dicknipples Chris)
[ED: Let's keep the straight up nudity off the site %u2013 y'know, for kids!]
[ED: Let's keep the straight up nudity off the site %u2013 y'know, for kids!]







